!#!#!#!#!#!#!#! LUCHA LOONIES #4

This tape is great! The El Hijo del Santo/Super Calo/Lizmark Jr/ Hector Garza/Konan/ Rey Misterio Sr/La Parka/ El Dandy vs Silver King/Psicosis/Juventud Guerrera/Villano 4 and 5/Halloween/Damien/Zandokan is freakin incredible. The only problem is that if you are gonna have this match IN 1997, WITH 16 wrestlers, you're gonna lend yourself to some comparison with a match your not gonna win when compared to. You gotta gauge this against the EMLL 16 man match from May 10th earlier this year- which is Win, Place, and Show in the Lucha match of the year sweepstakes- but HEY! Promo Azteca had the match, let's compare a little. Well the thing is for the most part.... There is no way to compare! EMLL is the most easily accessible Lucha from Mexico- you can see the feuds form, see who works best with whom, know a little history of who was going at it with whom, so each section of their cibernetico match made sense because the weeks before led up to it with all the feuds and wrestling deuls pointing towards both the 12 man and the 16 man matches that culminated a hot littl run. MEANWHILE, Large amounts of Promo Azteca is about as easy to find as new Canadian members of the Vince McMahon fanclub. You find it here and there, March TV here, August TV there- all randomly starting ten minutes in, interchangable and impossible to follow coherently because there isn't the four month block that you can get like with EMLL. HEY! PA is just starting out and is basically on a UHF channel in Tijuana while EMLL is available to SOMEBODY you know in North America who can send you tapes. Thus, the only guys I could tell had a history with each other was when Psicosis was in with Santo- and that was from AAA in 1995. I have no idea who was feuding with who, why it should heat up when they are in the ring together, who has done what to who, and who has been having hot matches with who and when should I freak out like a burner at a Ted Nugent concert. Since that comparison will get us nowhere, we can do the SUPERfun thing of going worker a worker, mano a mano. Promo Azteca has some overlap in this match- Silver King, El Dandy, and Santo are veterans of both. El Santo has a different role in this one. He is the old guy who all the young guys want to put out. In the EMLL match, he and Negro Casas set the insane pace for everybody else by rekindling their gloriously endless feud so that the old codgers in the match worked their asses off. Promo Azteca is full of lotsa young punks who need no motivation to work their asses off, so his role adjustment is a good one. El Dandy wrestles WAY over his head in the EMLL match, hanging with the incredibly fast and great Black Warrior. In this match he wrestles right at his head by hanging with Villanos who are more his speed (and botching a couple of spots after the strong opening section). Silver King has the same role in both matches- wrestle like an ABSOLUTE MotherFucker, making the great wrestlers like greater (LaParka), make the good wrestlers look great (Super Calo) and make the carryable wrestlers look good (Konan). Silver King proves once again that he is the most complete Luchadore on earth. The rest is quite the mixed bag. Juventud is the Black Warrior of this match- the amazing young punk who rules in the ring. The difference is that- though Black Warrior also goes out too early in the EMLL version like Juventud in the PA version- Black Warrior gets to rip the place up before he goes out. Juventud does about 1/9 of what he capable of and I'm now positive that Juventud is booked better in WCW than in Promo Azteca. Psicosis would assume the Felino role- the Rudo who is left to face the gauntlet of a Murderer's Row of Technicos. Psicosis is great in the role and is just as credible, putting out Santo, Konan, and LaParka by wrestling with true grit and putting forth a herculean effort. There are similarities in that both end with the lone rudo in the underdog position, but they change it up. Whereas the EMLL match is a vehicle to get the Felino angle over, the Azteca match is more than just a chance to set up Santo/Rey/Psicosis (which they do via chair-slinging lucha riot), it's just as much about getting LaParka in position for assuming the role of Number One face as he is given as much as Psicosis to a certain extent, as both of these are the two that get to get the most cool moves in. And when they get down to facing each other at the end, it's the hottest portion of the match. The Ultimo Dragon role in this is Konan. Konan and UD were both the fresh technico that there is NO WAY the rudo is gonna get by. Konan has his best moment I've seen him have as he hits every finisher he knows, but through brilliant selling on both sides- especially Psicosis- the endurance of Psicosis of such an onslaught looks totally credible. The big switch up is at the end. Lizmark Jr assumes the Mascara Magica role of young good luchadore who SOMEHOW stuck around this long, but while Magica was disposed of rather quickly in the flurry that was the ending of the EMLL match, Lizmark and Psicosis make a Caida out of it (after a slightly irritating interval of stalling so that Psicosis can get his breath back to finish this brilliant performance with bang that can only be achieved with Psicosis level bumps and marathon runners endurance- considering the workrate and the punishment his body is taking). Great Freakin Match. I've watched it four times already and there are so many nuances you get with each watching. Then again, I've watched the EMLL match about 12 times so I've seen about every single nuance that that monster can possibly contain. I'll give you the true verdict eight more veiwings from now.:) Then they have a lucha riot! WOO-HOO!

The rest of the tape is quirky odds and ends- Vampiro's wedding footage, La Femme Nikita Koloff's Motel Six Press from Incredibly Strange Wrestling- which isn't GOOD wrestling but didn't seem as totally repulsive as when it first came out, the CHOICE Vince McMahon heel interview about the fake Razor Ramone in USWA. There is a really good Misterioso/Santo vs Rey Misterio Jr and Sr. with Sr becoming the old guy heat machine that worked so well when the chairs are flying at the end of October. GET ALL THIS!

#$#$#$#$#$#$ NEW JAPAN TV 10/18, taped 9/23 from Budokan

Fujita vs Don Frye was just REALLY cool. I love this feud. These guys are so great at making shootstyle work in the context of the angle-laden pro-style that is Monday Nitro New Japan Heavyweight wrestling. It's a lot like the first one, with Frye being a dick and not breaking holds after Fujita gets to the ropes, but Fujita isn't a total pansy this time around and actually wrestles like he has a pair in this match. Frye is the King of Pro Style now and I dig it the most.

Ogawa vs Brian Johnston: BOY! This wasn't good. Ogawa is such a boring as dirt shootstyle wrestler and a boring as dirt pro-style wrestler that you want the little Johnston guy to put him out of our misery. Ogawa may have all the legit cred in the world, but HELL! so does MENG and look what he's done to the sweet science. Ogawa. BAD!

Hashimoto vs Gene Frazier: This following the last match was a really bad idea on New Japan's part. Two guys who look like they still shoot legit 24-7 go over to two less than impressive looking Pro Style pseudoshooters in succession. Ogawa I could maybe buy, because of his Judo Boy rep, but that followed by Hash getting the win out of nowhere. It's FIXED folks. You can have Hash go over these guys ten times a night and Rickson Gracie is still gonna destroy his fat ass in thirty-eight seconds. Howzabout bringing in Koshinaka for a real match and leave the "booking ourselves over the real shootfighters"-Inoki-jacking off crap to a minimum, please.

&*&*&*&*&* ALL JAPAN 10/19 taped 10/11 from Fukuoka

Akiyama/ Shiga vs Hayabusa/ Mossman: HEY!!! My sangre, fellow Hawaiian islander, Mossman and the suddenly very good and very focused Hayabusa have a good little match with the lagging Akiyama and eternal undercard pale whipping boy, Shiga. Hayabusa goes at it with Akiyama and I gotta say, "HEY! That didn't turn my stomach!" Mossman gets all kicky and intense, beating Shiga's scrawny ass all over the place. Mossman then turns around and sells gigantic wads of the Pasty Shiga's spazzy highflying offense. Guess who loses!:) Jun acts all grumpy and doesn't sell very well to Mossman. Hayabusa hits some nifty low-impact highspots and sells better than Akiyama in this thing. I dug this in a little way, deep down inside. Hayabusa is adjusting very well, and I dig the contempt he brings out in the stuffed shirts of the All Japan guys.

Kobashi & Ace vs Taue & Kawada: Taue RULES in this one, NOT ONCE getting all fired up and acting all wacky, and working circles around everybody else in this little affair. Kenta Kobashi spends the whole match thinking about that Harry Chapin song "Cat's in the Cradle" because he is on the verge of tears the entire match. Ma Boy was just like meeeeeee. He turned out just like meeeeeeeee. The Cats in the cradle and the silver spoon...... "May I.... have a tissue... Mr Ace..." Kawada makes a guest appearance in this match, tearing himself away from his crossword puzzle in the corner to make the save for Akira. Kawada and the tender sadboy, Kobashi knock the holy crap out of each other, thus making it a Taue vs Ace battle of kicked out of finishers. Taue is more fun, but it's Ace's day to shine. Akira Taue still rules it. What a mountain of lumpy coolness!

#$#$#$#$#$ Jd' 10/4 taped 8/3 from Korakuen Hall

Kosugi/ Sogabe vs Lioness Aska: Aska squashes two youngsters in 2:32. Golly! Better get that worn out old bitch over a little more at the expense of the youngsters. Talk about the anti-GAEA method. Some angle follows.

Esther Moreno vs Alda Moreno: Hey! I had to love this. It was all peppy and high-flying. And they're sisters. And it was kinda short!

[There is a Shiratori match right here and Glenn couldn't recognize half the youngsters and I couldn't recognize the other half (I think it was LLPW intensive). It was okay, whoever they were in there paling in comparison to the glow of the goddess that is Shiratori.]

Devil Masami/ Jaguar Yokota vs Sakai/ Yabushita: ALLRIGHT! The Judo Girls haul in a strong performance with the immense guidance of Grand Old Dame of Wrestling- the incomparable Jaguar Yokota. This was kinda like the that Yokota/Sakai singles match where Jaguar showed them exactly where to go the whole time. Even the currently totally useless Devil Masami gave a little to the young spunksters- being the mean old grizzled old woman to their spunky upstartishness. I dug this a lot.

Cooga vs Aja Kong: Aja tries to pull a really good match out of the insanely mediocre Cooga and gets stuck deeply in the "very okay" setting. Nothing awful at all, but Cooga just isn't a threat or a very good wrestler. Aja tries REAL hard and you can tell she wants it to be real good, and so does Cooga but the world, reality, the laws of physics, fate, and God himself stay in the way. GET THE JUDO GIRLS MATCH!

$&$&$&$&$&$&$ IWA KENTUCKY- two Tarek the Great vs American KickBoxer matches

Tim stuck these two on the end of the LUCHA DC hh (which has better production vales than Promo Azteca and AAA TV:)) and these are the two highflyers that are worth keeping a close eye on- as much as their independent high-flying compadres in less sister-marrying states (tee-hee!) to the north and to the east. The first one is from the IWA Eddie Gilbert Memorial card and the other is the "last match in sixty days match." Both of these are rock solid wrestling- which folks tell me isn't always the case for the oily mats of Ian Rotten's very garbage match-leaning IWA. Tarek looks like a haggard and filthy Ian Anderson from Jethro Tull; AK looks like a less irritating Rob Van Dam and he should really look into changing the goofy moniker. Both matches are so NOT a Devon Storm match, there is neato matwork that progresses to highspots, there is logical selling after highspots, there are transitions btween moves and transition moves to different stages of the match- stuff that you usually don't see from highspot artists of such wreckless abandon. I mean, they take fifteen moves to set up a table spot- which is the true sign that someone watched a Sabu match and said,"Uh, let's not do that thing where you get in position for the table bump and I'll take five minutes to deliver it." The most impressive thing past the level of psychology involved is that the moves they used weren't just the moves they saw on this weeks Mexican or Japanese tapes- it was more of a PG-13 style of homemade highspots, but they looked far more aware of the hottest moves available than PG-13 appear to be but did little variations to make them their own while mixing in the straight versions during the match in also. I wanna see more of these guys. They should definately be invited to the next Super 8 tournament or something. TOTALLT TUBULAR!

NEXT WEEK!! My Redneck Dream Emi Motokawa and Fabulously Awesome Shimoda offset the thorough loathsomeness of the rest of the Fuyuki Force Group Samurai Special! GAEA! GAEA! GAEA! LUCHA LIBRE DELUXE! NEW JAPAN! Special Guest Reviewer with even BETTER Steiner Steriod jokes to share! and YES!!! the highly anticipated CRUSH GALS MONSTER TAPE!! SINGING! DANCING! NEW WAVE! WRESTLING! WHOMP ASS!!

NANIWA~!

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