Subject: ABDULLAH THE BUTCHER! bleeds a bucket. BRUISER BRODIE! bleeds a bucket. CARLOS COLON! bleeds a bucket. INVADER I! bleeds a bucket. and other things from the harrowing weeks of all Puerto Rico.
ALOHA~!
Welcome to DEATH VALLEY DRIVER VIDEO REVIEW #65!
Phil got a big bonanza of Puerto Rican Lucha Libre 1988 from Lariat Paul
a few weeks back and we decided that it was too freakin big and weird to
tackle solo so he made me some copies and we divided up the tapes and we
decided to dedicate a whole Death Valley Driver to it. HELL! It's
Peurto Rico- it's hard to find the wrestling and who knows what you get
when you find it? Phil got the High-End Dan Kroffat-packed last part of
the year and I got the Crappier Youngbloods-intensive first of 1988.
!@!@!@!@! WWC TV 11/21/87-10/12/88+ the Rufus R Jones matches from the
last eight hours of the tapes.
I didn't know what to expect so I'll just tell you what I had
pre-conceived. I figured embrionic W*ING-style wrestling with the blade
ruling the day. I expected crazed mobs in Roberto Clemente Stadium
watching with total bloodlust as Abdullah the Butcher and Carlos Colon
carved each other up with razor blades. I expected barbed-wired and
barbaric wrestling and hideous savagery that would point deep into the
heart of a distant culture. I got a lot of that, but mostly I got
wrestling that was exactly like the crappier elements of the
Mid-Atlantic wrestling I watched as a child. Everything was a Paul
Jones versus Wahoo McDaniel match for the most part and I found that
strangely endearing. I will try to debunk the myths I had told myself
when I thought of Puerto Rican wrestling. (I'll only hit the major,
really weird, really good or REALLY bad matches)
Carlos Colon v. Kareem Muhammad:
The myth is that I told myself that Carlos Colon was a shittier version
of Perro Aguayo. He smokes Perro like a cheap cigar. Colon is actually
quite the Richman's Perro Aguayo- he's as over as Perro in front of his
home crowd, but he is also not afraid to have a cool match when he is
being busted open hardway by the right person. Kareem Muhammad will
always be okay in my book because he was Candyman Ray Candy in Arkansas
and Mid-Atlantic when I was a child and was one-half of the fabulous
COMMANDOS with Commando Boone- who ruled it hard in NWA for a few months
there. The problem is that Colon can't get him up for suplexes and
Colon isn't gonna take the bumps that are neccessary to make this match
work so it kinda limps along until the finish. Not the man for a cool
Colon match.
Abdullah the Butcher v. Bruiser Brody-Dog Collar match:
This was pretty fucking beautiful. I don't know why they felt the need
to include a dog-collar, because blood is pretty much spraying profusely
out of everyone's head before they even get them on. This is about the
only kind of match of this kind that I dig for some reason and I can't
figure out why. I think it all goes back to the first time I ever saw
the Shiek- which was when they showed him on Mid-Atlantic wrestling on
film one time where he threw a fire ball at Andre the Giant. I remember
how freaked out I was at the insanity of the Shiek. And then we
ACTUALLY got Abdullah the Butcher in a couple of places I was living and
he was crazier and he bled more and he was SO much cooler looking, you
can imagine who over he was with me and my friends. If you want all
heat and brutality and want to forget about cool moves and high workrate
for twenty minutes, watch this baby. It's a bucket of blood. It's at
Roberto Clemente stadium and the crowd is acting like it's the world's
biggest cockfight. Maybe it's two buckets of blood.
Stan Hansen v. Missing Link:
Stan Hansen and the Missing Link have a match that is basically the
Abdullah vs Brodie match, but without the heat and brutality. I guess
Hansen was taking it easy on the Link because this wasn't what makes
Hansen great by any stretch. Hansen in Puerto Rico should be a true
horror of violence one would think at first. I guess judging by this
and that ECW tag where Hansen showed up, that the brand of horrendous
ass-kicking that Hansen could hand out only REALLY works in the truest,
purest venues of the sweet science- where his lariat kicks the ass of
all the barbed wire and chairshot in the immediate area.
Carlos Colon v. Hercules Ayala-Barbed Wire match:
This was a whole lot of macabre fun as these two are REALLY not afraid
to go face and forehead first into the barbed-wire. Maybe the
comparison of Colon to Onita would be the least far-fetched- their both
charismatic faces who aren't afraid to revel in a big jug of blood and
take a skin-shredding bump to get the to that next level of
hardcoreness. Carlos takes the hardest walk when he fearlessly (or
maybe stupidly) starts running the ropes despite the fact that they are
wrapped in barbed-wire. Hercules Ayala isn't good at all, but he and
Colon have a little chemistry that get these matches over to me in a
Wahoo McDaniel vs Greg Valentine in the Noflok Scope in 1978 kind of
way.
Kendo Nagasaki/Mr. Pogo v. Miguel Perez Jr./T.N.T.:
I was figuring that getting Mr Pogo in Puerto Rico would be a good
glance into his persona that arose later- but, as with most things about
PR, there is always baffling twist. In Puerto Rico, Mr Pogo wrestled a
whole lot like his partner, Kendo Nagasaki- VERY 1970's style, very
low-impact, pressure holds, more psychology- less movement. Not bad at
all, but nothing like the blood-sucking freak he became in the
nineties. TNT is, of course, Savio Vega, and he is really good on these
tapes, carrying matches against about everyone he is in with and having
the best match of any I saw against the Puerto Rican-stint Keiji Mutoh
(shading out the Mutoh/Perez triumpharant by a hair). Miguel Perez is
very US old-style in PR on these tapes- as he is a really hairy Ricky
Steamboat. Sorta. He is WADS better in Mexico and Japan.
Eddie Gilbert w/ Missy Hyatt v. Hurrican Castillo Jr.:
This wasn't what I expected. I was figuring on a Gilbert breakout in
Puerto Rico to mirror the super-hardcore Gilbert that emerged in
Tri-State against Cactus Jack, or maybe I was hoping for at least an
inkling of that intense emergence to surface somewhere in this match,
but it's basically a Mid-South style Heel/face old style cheap heat
match. Eddie works and is good and all, but I was hoping for something
more psychotic from Hotstuff. Missy Hyatt gets the brunt of Hugo's
commentary.
Ricky Morton/Robert Gibson v. Bobby Jaggers/Dan Kroffat:
Rock and Roll match like you see every time, pretty much, except Dandy
Dan Kroffat is doing a muscle gimmick and Hangman Bobby Jagger is ten
years past his prime. Saving grace is the TRULY horrible RnR
interviews, "I don't know KAY-rotty but I know KAY-2 by 4 and KAY-tire
iron!"
T.N.T. v. Mr. Pogo:
This was good. TNT and Pogo build from a headlock to Pogo getting in
his offense and topping off with a Cobra Clutch that TNT has to work out
of, which sets up his transition to get TNT on offense after hitting the
ropes which sets up his super kick. Bill Watts or Ole Anderson could
have booked this match.
Invader #1 v. Manny Fernandez;
HEY NOW! Manny the Bull Fernandez was such a middle of the road
performer that only REALLY shined when he and Wahoo were busting each
other up and coating the ring in plasma. The only redeeming thing about
this match is the toprope knee drop by Manny Fernandez which causes the
true Bladejob From Hell- Invader I becomes all Gene Simmons-like and
vomits a gallon blood all over the ring in one of the most repellent
spectacles that you would HAVE to see to believe. Hangman Tim says its
fake and that you can see him put the blood capsule in his mouth. I
like to think that Invader I was really under pressure to perform every
night and that his ulcer was diagnosed by Manny Fernandez's knee.
Either way, it's pretty grisly, about as grotesque as you can imagine.
Abdullah the Butcher v. Dutch Mantel:
OH HOLY GOD! is there a lot of blood in this match. I mean MOUNTAINS of
blood. I mean Wagner Power Sprayer out of the forehead blood. Blood!
And it's Abdullah the Butcher vs Dutch Mantell so what did you expect?
Super Black Ninja v. Miguel Perez Jr.;Super Black Ninja v. Miguel Perez
Jr.-Hair v. Hair; Super Black Ninja v. Miguel Perez Jr.:
These were really good as an embryonic Great Muta pretty much figures
out his gimmick in these matches. The sudden movement, the cool stares,
moonsaults, gymnastic spots, everything that got him over in the NWA in
89, was pretty much started in these matches. Whereas before, when he
was tagging with Nagasaki and Pogo, he was the old-fashioned Japanese
heel- the usual crap, everything short of throwing rice. In these
matches he has actual deadly offense and it makes them better than the
other matches on the tape- from a modern wrestling standpoint. Perez is
up for the task as he sells the offense of Mutoh and also steps up his
offense to transcend the US Pro-style that permeates all his other
matches. A weird little footnote in the career of the inconsistent and
irritatingly underachieving Keiji Mutoh.
Rocky Johnson v. Afa the Samoan:
Rocky Johnson was my favorite wrestler when I was eleven. This is him
ten years later and he's kinda chubbed out, but I can still see why he
was my fave- he was the wrestling version of Jim Kelly from Enter the
Dragon. I never put the two together before. Afa sucks a whole bunch.
Afa the Samoan v. Carlos Colon:
This is the semi-finals to the truly pathetic Gillette Cup 88. Afa is
the even more lethagic prototype for todayâs Meng as this match doesn't
even hit a Memphis level of "Two Guys Hit Each Other A Lot" level of
action. Kind of amazing in it's nothingness.
Invader I vs Ron Starr-Barbed Wire match:
This REALLY doesn't pretend to be anything but what it is- a smorgasborg
of blood for all the vampire fans in the house at Roberto Clemente
stadium. Not really a match but more of two guys raking the others
forehead across the barbed-wire for twenty minutes. Invader I completes
the joke by winning with a tricky roll-up.
T.N.T. v. Super Black Ninja:
This match is better than the Miguel Perez/Muta matches because TNT
makes these super-heated and the psychology is deeper. It builds to the
neato nearfall sequence in the process of building to the pinnale of
Mutoh attempting the moonsault and TNT escaping and getting the
Caribbean title. Deeper and better wrestled than the Miguel Prez
matches, TNT was the worker of the WWC at this point.
Mike Jackson v. Chicky Starr:
HOLY CRAP! It's Mike Jackson of Alabama and the unscrupulous Chicky
Starr having a SCIENTIFIC WRESTLING match. In case there are those of
you who don't remember scientific wrestling- it was American mat
wrestling that Nelson Royal and Danny Hodge did when they wrestled guys
who were also faces. It was really interesting and it was ALWAYS a
time limit draw and everybody shakes hands at the end and the announcers
talk about what a joy it was to watch and how it was what wrestling
should be, meanwhile, you're hoping BlackJack Mulligan and Wahoo are
gonna kick the shit out of each other pretty soon. Considering the
giant heeldom Chicky was enjoying at this moment, it basically further
freaks out the viewer when one realizes the Scientific-ness of the
match. It basically means, in this match, that Chicky Starr has to work
out of long-arm scissors for about five minutes and then they run the
ropes until the drop toe hold and back to the pressure hold. Chicky
uses his slight size advantage to finally overpower the diminutive
Jackson, and Chicky wins Clean As A Sheet. What the fuck?
T.N.T. v. Buddy Landell:
A young Buddy Landell actually was a good approxiamtion at times of his
Nature Boy namesake as he and the best worker in WWC have a decent
match. Buddy shows himself to be a good brawler as he and TNT get all
Mid-South in their offense and get a little stiff. It works well as
each gets their finisher- Landell's Figure Four, TNT's sleeper- and each
escape after many heated moments. Good match with a crappy Mid-Atlantic
Missed-Foot-In-The-Ropes screwjob.
Mr. Pogo v. Ricky Santana:
This is the beginning of the Mr Pogo we know and don't love. He
basically gnaws Santana's forehead off and Santana blades like Santana
is wont to do. Pogo eschews all wrestling hold and goes for his
poor-man's Abdullah impersonation. Too short to be good. There is an
ASS-LOAD of blood.
Rufus R. Jones v. Mr. Pogo:
JIMINY FUCKIN CHRISTMAS. Rufus R FreightTrain Jones was my favorite
wrestler when I was EIGHT. In 1974. He was old back then. This match
is from NINETEEN EIGHTY-EIGHT. Rufus was basically the Little Richard
to Dusty Rhodes Pat Boone as Rhodes stole EVERYTHING from Rufus
stylistically, but since Dusty was white and Rufus was black, Dusty got
to run the NWA and WCW into the ground and eventually book himself to
win a bunch of Bunkhouse Stampedes, while Rufus had to wrestle Mr Pogo
in Puerto Rico to make the rent. This match is PRICELESS. A man who
will sell out Kawasaki Stadium has to sell the goofiest comedy spots
that the punchdrunk Rufus can come up with. Unbelievably weird.
UNBELIEVABLY WEIRD.
Carlos Colon v. Ron Starr-Cage match:
This was the best Colon match on this tape and pretty much encompassed
everything that was good on these tapes- great heat, solid psychology,
barbaric gimmicks. A wrestling Match that is disguised as a brawl- the
story is laid out and they hit their spots (as JDW would say about these
kinda things:)). They bust each other open as they brawl around the
cage, they work their way up the cage and drag each other back in while
establishing their fearlessness by brawling while teetering at the top
of the cage. They have a hot section where they beat the hell out of
each to keep the other out of escape door. Star finally concedes that
he can't beat Colon but totally sacrifices his body to keep Colon out of
the door in the best part of the match. It pays off for him as Colon
finally has to force both of himself and Star out the door at the same
time after the total annihilation of Star's ribs won't budge Star out of
the way. Colon refuses to acknowledge the referee after it is judged
that Colon hit the ground first as he and Star continue to brawl all
around Roberto Clemente stadium as the crowd goes wild. Star finally
escapes to the dugout and this was the best Colon match on these
babies. This really worked on a lot of levels and actually got your
cynical, jaded reviewer into it much more than he he would admit.
Rufus R. Jones v. Detroit Demolition:
Possibly the worst match ever to be caught on tape. Detroit Demolition
is a hideous Demotilion imitation- sorta like a fat guy dressed up as
Axe for Halloween. His work is sub-Eudy if that's possible. Rufus R
Jones is probably 62 years old in this match and he couldn't work back
when he was just slightly past his prime back in 74 so you can imagine
how this baby went. My wife, who is becoming quite the closet Benoit
Mark despite herself, was actually in the room when I got to this one
and she said, "God, Dean. These guys are horrible. This really
sucks." She didn't understand . It was Rufus and a little boy in me
freaked out and remembers him freightraining over Gene and Ole Andersen
to save Tiger Conway Jr. or maybe Don Kernodle from the bastards from
Minnesota who would break a youngster's arm every week. And I don't
care if he sucked, he was my hero and I'll miss him.:)
-DEAN!
#$#$#$#$#$ Puerto Rican TV October 1988-January 1989
Bobby Jaggers/ Dandy Dan Kroffat AKA The Kansas Jayhawks v. Miguel
Perez Jr. and Hurricane Castillo Jr. - Hair v. Hair:
Very Mid-South kind of match with tons of heat, bunches of near falls
and not
a whole lot of suplexes or highspots. Still really cool though, Kroffat
handles
most of the wrestling for the Jayhawks, hitting a hanging vertical
suplex and
a running powerslam. Jaggers was RHODESian in both his Elbow-intensive
wrestling and his kickass redneck interviews, DADDY! While Dandy Dan
must be from Manitoba, Kansas. Miguel and Hurricane were Rock and
Roll Expressesque- all house of fire offence and double dropkicks.
Dandy
Dan takes a back drop over the top rope and lands in the mud. He then
attempts to monkey flip Hurricane who sits down getting the pin and
causing the shaving of Kroffat and Jaggers's hair (which was a real
service to Danny as he was sporting the big time peroxide job, that just
wouldn't have gone over in All Japan)
Jason The Terrible v. Invader 3:
Invader 3 is the face in this match,which is odd because you would think
murdering Bruiser Brody would get him serious heel heat. Jason beats
the
piss out of him, but not nearly enough for me. Almost a squash, with
Invader doing a big time White-Mask-Turning-Red blade job.
Jason The Terrible v. TNT series:
These guys wrestled twice on this tape, with both matches rocking. The
matches had the basic super over face v. unstoppable monster heel
storyline,
kind of like Hogan v. Kimala if both guys were pretty good wrestlers
instead
of sinkholes of suck. TNT (aka my close personal friend Savio Vega)
delivered a bunch of neat spinkicks and a killer superkick; while Jason
went
with the flying headbutts and slams and stuff. They trade highspots
(real
rare in PR) with Jason hitting the top rope to the floor headbutt, and
TNT
hitting a plancha. The first match ends with TNT getting fired up and
mistakenly head butting Jason (he's got a hockey mask, thus the Jason
name)
and then falling prey to the flying headbutt. TNT the does a blade job
that
makes him look like he split his head open. Jason gets the win in the
second match via some sort of Chicky Starr interference which I can't
recall. Real good. TNT was super over and possibly the best local
worker, and Jason was damn good for a big guy. Maybe the best pair of
matchs on these tapes.
Iron Shiek v. Carlos Colon:
This match was about 4 minutes long and Colon won with a roll-up but
Sheik wasn't afraid to gouge his forehead so bad, he looked like he was
in a car accident. AHHH SWEET PUERTO RICO HOME OF THE
BLOOOOD.
Ron Starr v. Chicky Starr
Not good, boys. When the Starr's hook it up the only losers are the
fans.
Neither guy bleeds enough. Chicky may be godlike but he can't wrestle
or anything. The fans realizing how much this match stinks, start a big
time Lucha riot with chair being tossed in the ring, fans running in the
ring when the wrestlers are outside, and sundry mayhem. The crowd
fights
had twice the psychology and workrate of the match in the ring. Both
guys just kind of leave and not a moment too soon.
TNT v. Terry Funk
Terry Funk is in supreme goofball mode, climbing up scaffolding, falling
down bleachers, hanging in between the ropes, not actually wrestling.
TNT pretty much mailed it in too. Bloodless and not nearly as good as
it
should have been.
Hercules Ayala v. Carlos Colon
Once you have seen the W*ING Kanemura thing, a regular fire match just
wont impress you. Really long and not enough wrestling or blood to get
you through it. Hercules Ayala is even suckier then Hercules Hernandez,
I don't mind Colon though if you look at the super over wrestlers of the
1980's. He was better then Baba, better then Hogan, better then Perro
Aguyo, about as good as Inoki and Lawler and not as good as Flair. I
got
no problem with that.
Carlos Colon v. Ron Garvin
This match had all kinds of big match build up, with Garvin just coming
off his ignoble NWA title run and Colon being a legend and all. The
pomp
and circumstance are longer then the match itself, as they do a lot of
supremely mediocre mat wrestling, with Colon pulling off a neat rolling
spinning toe hold, and Garvin delivering the idiotic Garvin Stomp (Ric
Flair was so godlike that he made that shit seem semi-plausible). The
end
comes as Garvin fakes an injury and delivers the hands of stone punch to
an unsuspecting Colon. He then goes off with the belt accompanied by
the
dastardly Chicky Starr, damn him and his evil sports club.
A Salute to the Fantastic Chicky Starr
Chicky Starr is the all-knowing force of evil in Puerto Rican wrestling,
delivering all of his schemes and spreading his message of evil through
an interview segment known as Chicky Starr's Sports Shop, the greatest
bilingual interview segment in history. Watch enraptured as Chicky
lounges in a bathrobe in the superSWANK opening montage as he asks Ron
Starr the question we all wanted to know "Why did you betray me and my
Sports club"- as he tells the Batten Twins "you talk too much why don't
you shut up and let me translate for the people"- as he kibbitzes with
the Kansas Jayhawks "let me tell you something DADDY!"- as he speaks for
all of the wrestling public in telling the Youngbloods "Don't you think
you ought to retire"- as he asks Dutch Mantel "Why did you betray me and
my sports club" (Dutch Mantel does the worst face interview ever in this
ÎI use to be just lack you Chicky Staah, but now I rasil for the faans')
Chicky Starr is a role model for us all.
-PHIL
NEXT WEEK: GAEA JUNIOR ALL-STARS! NEW JAPAN TOP O THE SUPER JUNIORS
COMMERCIAL TAPE! (LOREFICE!) MICHINOKU PRO! ALL JAPAN WOMEN! (GLENN!)
YOU NAME IT, CHEESE! plus Singles Going Steady and that infernal cutout
bin. DIG IT, BABY!
HYPERVISUAL FIGHTING~!
Dean Rasmussen, Disciple of Jericho.
