BLACK WARRIOR! and VIOLENCIA! destroy the first row. MITSUHARA MISAWA ! and KENTA KOBASHI! bring the rock! KANDORI! and HOTTA! beat the crap outta each other. and other stuff!
ALOHA~!
WELCOME TO THE DEATH VALLEY DRIVER VIDEO REVIEW #73!
Hiya folks! It's been an action packed couple of weeks and we've come out of the Spring malaise of partying with fellow Internet Actual Wrestling Freaks by stockpiling cool, whip-ass grappling tapes for the long hot summer and we're up for some serious two-fisted yammering about wrestling that is so good that makes me glad that I watch the Sweet Science, the Sport of Kings-Better Than Diamond Rings! WHIP ASS! Glenn supplied the SWANK AJW commercial tape that I passed on the Rev Ray and he yammered about and everything that Phil reviewed was also from his Royal Swankness- as was the Michinoku Pro and the All Japan TV that I took a swing at. Glenn is BEYOND godlike. He's like the Dalai Lama or something. MASTER of the QUEBRADA-ESQUE ARTS, Mike Lorefice supplied the AJPW Commercial tape that Rev reviewed. El Steve del Canada supplied the CMLL to Phil who passed the manly goodness to my door. AWRIGHT! So, though the Spring wads of Fun are still going full bore, here's a cavalcade of reviews. We've decided that we will footnote extensively from now on, because Phil Schneider- being the youngest and hippest- said it's what all the kids are into these days. You kids with your hula hoops and fax machines... Speaking of that young fella named Schneider, let's listen to what these young people of today have to say....
#$#$#$#$#$#$ NEW JAPAN TV-
-phil
Keiji Mutoh/ Masa Chono vs. Manabu Nakanishi/ Kojima:
This is your basic bunch of New Japan heavyweights going at it. None of these guys are that great- with Nakanishi(1) and Kojima still being kind of green , Chono super busted up and Muto is soooooo lazy. Nakanishi looked a lot like he was in the Steiner brothers mold, doing a bunch of Belly to Belly suplexes like Rick Steiner and looking like he had drank from the same Steriod fountain as Scott; I mean, he was gassed like a Power Plant trainee. They end with the ridiculous New Japan shtick, the I dare you to hit me thing(2), with Kojima running into a big boot from Chono and gets slapped in a submission hold. The rest of NWO Japan then poses in the ring and yells cool sounding stuff in Japanese.
Hayato Najayo vs. Tetsuhiro Takiawa:
Man o Man did I dig this bad boy. Takiawa absolutely beats the piss out of young FMW boy Hayato. Including a lariat that broke his jaw and his nose nearly beating the ugly off him(3), and FIVE death Valley Drivers, including two from the top rope, including one unprotected DVD from the top rope that looks like he broke Hayato's neck. Hayato got a couple of moves in to make it a match, including his neat little skytwister press, but the NJ juniors style has become so high impact that fancy shit doesn't really fit in anymore. Besides that and a couple of missile dropkicks, this match was Takiawa pummeling Hayato like Hayato fucked his wife (4). Evidentially Hayato was blowing spots in his earlier matches in New Japan, and Takiawa made him pay in this one simply by beating him so badly that it put him on the shelf for a while.
Shijiro Ohtani v. Kendo Ka Shin:
This match was pretty cool, although it wasn't real great like their IWGP junior title match. Ohtani who has been super inconsistent as of late(5) is pretty great in this one as he is kind of dick, poking Ka Shin in the eyes and slapping him around, he also curbs the crying and no-selling. I dig the way they have booked Ka Shin, while most of the wrestlers in the division have been using alot of dangerous moves, they have gotten over Ka Shin's cross arm breaker as a super dangerous move by letting him beat everyone in the division with it. Although he is the low man in the totem pole it has been shown that he can pull out the surprise win at any time, which he does here with the flying top rope cross arm breaker. This is a welcome contrast to the super rigid All Japan booking style(6) and what makes the little division that Liger has built here so neato.
%^%^%^%^%^%^%^%^%^ CMLL TV 12/6/97
-dean.
Damian el Guerrero/Reyes Veloz/Rencor Latino vs Atlantico/Ultraman Jr/ Oriental:
This ruled it pretty hard in parts- as the young punks Rencor Latino and Oriental do a BEAUTIFUL armdrag clinic, with Oriental hitting one of the truly swankiest armdrags I'VE ever seen- a 360 on the back of Rencor Latino falling perfectly into an armdrag- and THEN going straight into a truly hideous somersault springboard tope(7) straight onto his back and he's all dead and stuff. Oriental has the fucking COOLEST pants- with these rudders on the side to keep him from flying completely out of control, he's thinking I guess. Damian el Guerrero really stinks up the joint, blowing simple armdrags and wrestling like a powdered assed pansy and, unfortunately, the WILDLY resurgent Ultraman Jr is stuck trying to keep him from blowing everything, so that kept this from being absolutely King-Sized. Luckily, Ultra Man Jr and Rencor Latino get to mix it up a bit and Rencor proves in this- my first exposure to the little guy- that he is definately quite the keeper, as UM Jr gets all armdraggy on his young ass. Reyes Veloz is the third best Pirate gimmick luchadore but he's plenty good enough to take it to the mat with the rock-solid if unspectacular Atlantico (8)- who, having seen him live in that IWC card in DC (9), is the pastiest, most translucent luchadore in the history of skin. Atlantico wins the first caida with a super nifty roll-up out of a double leg takedown and was offset by the second caida submission hold by Rencor Latino that had both Dos Caras and Mr Niebla in the lockerroom saying, "Now THAT was a goofy lucha submission." If you love Lucha Libre, you'll like this match. It was young guys on the mat, old guys on the mat and young guys all suicidal in the air. This Rencor Latino guy I'm definately keeping an eye out for.
Scorpio Jr/Satanico/Rey Bucanero vs La Fiera/Brazo de Plata/ SHOCKER!:
I wanted to like this match. I mean, it has ~~SHOCKER!!!~~~ and Rey Bucanero is SO willing to die for your entertainment, but- HEY! Let's face facts: Satanico is really...old (though he works his ass off still to this day, so maybe I'll just shut my filthy mouth.) Brazo de Plata is really neat the first time you see him. You say "HEY! He's really fat but he flies around and stuff!" In 1998, you now kinda say, "HEY! He's rally fat!" La Fiera mails this baby in and that's all you need to kill this baby because when your other wrestler is Scorpio Jr(10) you need everybody else going whole hog. [[[SHOCKER!!!]]] senses the crappiness of the situation and doesn't do anything beautiful or Shockerlike. I did not yell "FUDGE ALLMIGHTY!" once and considering that Bucanero AND all-mighty @#@#@SHOCKER@#@# were in the match- and in the ring- together that can only spell one thing- Not good.
Halcon Negro/Karloff Lagarde Jr/Valentin Mayo vs Olimpico/Mascara Magica/Tony Rivera:
Halcon Negro and Olimpico stick out the most in this- The Guys Who Are Way In The Middle Of The Card. None of these guys are bad by any stretch of the imagination and do about everything you would want a luchadore to do, but none of these guys possess a Lucha superlative, a quality that elevates them to the best of the style; none are overly beautifully graceful, amazingly quick, certifiable fearless and insane (11), or quick and nifty on the mat. They do work a good match and hit their spots without killing themselves or others. This could have used one crazed bitch, one mat technician, one super hot rudo, or one fabulous armdrag specialist.
Violencia vs Black Warrior:
WELL NOW! This was four minutes of hurty-as-all-hell bliss. Violencia and Black Mother Fucking Warrior both enjoy creative ways to rend their spines into playdoh and this match was a good little example as they REALLY REALLY bust each other up in the most spectacular ways possible. Luckily, these two only go four minutes or there would be nothing left for the DC show except two smudges that were the splendor that was Black Warrior and Violencia. The Ciclon Ramirez Toprope Tope by Black Warrior that flattens the first row of seats happens twenty seconds into the match and it gets more suicidal from there. Black Warrior, who rules it on the mat when he wants to, uses other options this night. Mind-boggling in its brevity. This match WHIPPED ASS a whole bunch in a very short time. And is it possible that Black Warrior has the coolest mask in the history of wrestling? Black Warrior with a variation on his already preposterously awesome finisher.(12)
Emilio Charles Jr vs Atlantis:
These two take it to the mat in an equally as short match- these are all in some kind of tournament- this is pretty much all psychological and shit until the goofy ending, which I won't spoil. You can go your whole life without seeing this, but it was a good way to kill nine minutes. Actually, Lucha matwork works best when it's all fast and weird and pose-intensive at the end. This was kinda like AWA matwork- which is good, but not great in the context of the style. So there.
Apolo Dantes vs Blue Panther:
THIS match was GREAT. Our boy Apolo isn't afraid to take his game to another level since he's in with the King of the Actual Wrestling Rudo, Black Panther. This is different from the Atlantis vs Emilio Charles because it is a celebration of Lucha submissions but they work it as a Japanese match with Lucha submissions plugged in for the Japanese submissions. This was the best highspotless Lucha match I can remember. Just rock solid work and great psychology. Dantes freaks out at the end and goes for a tombstone (13)
twice which causes him to argue with the referee and Blue Panther gets a Fujiwara Armbar for the submission. The fact that they finish of such a great approximation of a Japanese mat-based match with a bonafided Japanese finisher seals this matches fate of being a good example of the breadth of the style that Lucha is capable of encompassing. I dug this.
Hijo del Santo/Bestia Salvaje vs Negro Casas/Felino:
Negro Casas was NUMBER ONE AND THE BEST in this, somehow not getting smoked by the vastly talented El Hijo del Santo and his own brethren, the real frickin deal- El Felino. Salvage and Casas beat the hell out of each other early and Casas sets the stiff-as-hell-for-frickin-Lucha tone that permeates this baby. The structure isn't that tight but they get over to the crowd and the viewer the fact that they are beating the fudge out of Santo's knee as El Felino puts Santo away with standing Figure Four, to win the second caida. The third caida is really short because it looks like Bestia legit blew out his knee, so Casas gets the Scorpion Deathlock on Santo and they call it a match. Santo beaten in straight falls! WELL!
CMLL is so good these days that it's REAL hard to find a whole hour and a half show that isn't 60% good and 80% watchable. GET ALL CMLL FROM THE LAST TWO YEARS.
!@!@!@!@!@!@@!@ ALL JAPAN COMMERCIAL TAPE - 10/97
-rev.ray
Mitsuhara Misawa vs. Kenta Kobashi:
Kenta controls early, he gets the upper hand with a spinning chop and a back kick, he counters a Misawa kick into a back suplex and then drops him on his head with a half nelson back suplex. Kobashi goes for a powerbomb on the floor, but Misawa ranas out. Misawa takes control when they re-enter, hits a diving Lariat and a second rope elbow for a two and then puts on an arm/neck lock of sorts. Misawa with some more elbows and a turn around lariat. He hits an Stone Cold Diamond Crusher on Kobashi. Misawa keeps control, hits Kenta to the floor, hits the elbow suicida. Misawa gets two with a top rope drop kick, goes with the facelock. They play elbow v. chop with Misawa winning. Kenta tries to suplex Misawa to the floor, but Misawa lands on his feet, attacks Kenta's bad leg, but kenta falls on Misawa when he goes for a back suplex. Kenta hits a plancha off the post. Half hour suplex by Kenta for 2. A running knee, russian leg sweep into a grounded octopus hold[14] for a bit by Kenta. Kenta wins at Chop-Paper-Elbow, drops Misawa with a lariat. Kenta with a second rope drop kick to the back of the kneeling Misawa's head. Kenta with a chinlock and a sleeper. Kenta teases a half nelson suplex on the floor, the ref stops him. Kenta puts Misawa on the railing and drops legs on the back of his neck, then hits the half nelson suplex anyway. That'll do wonders for your neck. Kenta does the leg drop on the railing thing again, throws Misawa in for a two. Kenta with a DDT and chops to the back of Misawa's neck. Powerbomb attempt reversed with a rana. Kenta regains control with a chop to the neck. The powerbomb into the jacknife hold kicked out of. Misawa blocks out of a powerbomb attempt, drops Kenta with a rolling elbow and a drop kick. Misawa with an elbow suicida off the post. Misawa hits a double arm suplex in ring and a top rope splash for 2. Misawa hits a tiger driver following several attempts. They have several reversal attempts with Kenta coming up with a sleeper. Kenta powerbombs the back of Misawa's head on the buckles... OW. Kenta hits two half nelson suplexes, Misawa still kicks out. Kenta hits the moonsault after going for it once and having to beat down Misawa when he tried to block it. Kenta's lariats attempts fail and Misawa gets him with a cobra clutch suplex. Misawa wins Chop-paper-elbow with a rolling back elbow. Both men down after an an elbow-clothesline hit each other. Kenta no sells off of a dragon suplex and gets dropped with a rolling elbow. Misawa with a tiger driver for 2. Running elbow for two. Kenta wins Chop-Paper-Elbow by cheating with a lariat for 2. They go for yet another round of the fun filled game, Miawa wins with a Rolling Back elbow into a rolling elbow. Kenta fights back, Misawa blocks his lariats with elbows and finally kills him dead with a Tiger Driver '91.
They interview Misawa post match, at the start, he appears like he ran over a kitten in the parking lot and was feeling real bad about it, but he cheers up at the end.
Fuchi/Honda/Kimala v. Baba/Hansen/Jumbo :
Jumbo should put on a leather mask and wrestle as "Manboobs"[15]. Kimala has 25th anniversary painted on his chest. Early, Kimala sells the stiffest chops on the planet by Baba (yeah, right). Fuchi takes some moves from Jumbo, Baba and Hansen. Headbutt Boy Honda tags in and you guessed it, headbutts Baba a bit. Baba takes him down with a slow Fujiwara armbar. Kimala and Jumbo mix it up. Only thing of note was a really bad Kimala drop kick. Stan comes in, only thing of note was a real bad lariat. Honda headbutts Stan a whole bunch. Stan throws him out side and rails him. Then hits a good ol' AWA elbow off the first rope. Jumbo puts Honda in an abdominal stretch, Baba does as well. Honda headbutts his way out of trouble, Kimala comes in and Stan elbows him a whole lot. At about this point, I really started not feeling like writing down what was going on. Come on now, it's got Baba, Jumbo and Kimala in it. I'm only HUMAN DAMN IT!
Honda ends up running the guantlet of old man finishers, the Jumbo jumping knee, the Baba lean back on the ropes big boot and the Hansen lariat. I refuse to comment on this match any further.
Misawa v. Steve Williams :
Doc starts by yelling at the fans for chanting "Misawa!" They do a few takedown attempts in the first few lock ups. They go clean until Doc calls for a test of strength, Misawa won't take it, Doc gets in his face, Misawa elbows him and Doc drops him with a slap/punch to the jaw, looked like a slap, but Misawa sold it a lot. They lock up and go into the ropes, Misawa elbows him off the rope for the first non-clean break of the match. They lock up, Williams traps both of Misawa's arms and overhead belly to belly's him. Misawa takes him down with a fireman's carry and works the arm. Doc makes the ropes, and elbows Misawa who answers with an elbow. They start throwing punches, Doc flap jacks Misawa. Doc clips Misawa's leg as he gets up and puts on a step over toe hold, then turns it into a scorpion death lock, Misawa makes the ropes, Doc won't break. Doc with a kick to the knee, Misawa tries to block an achilles tendon hold with his arm, they get in the ropes, Doc won't break, he he does, works the leg over on the post and apron, then pushes the camera men at ringside. The mix it up a bit, Doc works the leg a little, goes for a flap jack, but Misawa DDT's him on the way down. Misawa drops willings with a spinning kick, Doc goes to the floor and eats a baseball slide with a side of Elbow Suicida. Doc answers with a spinebuster on the floor, followed by a top rope shoulder tackle. Doc sets for the back drop driver after a few corner moves, Misawa saves off the ropes, elbows Williams but gets caught with a powerslam for 2. Doc release tiger suplexes Misawa. Williams teases a back drop driver off the apron to the floor, but Misawa elbows him off. Doc comes in, hits a brainbuster and a doctor bomb for 2. Doc hits the dangerous back drop driver, Misawa falls out to the floor. Doc throws Misawa back in and gets a two. Rock-Punch-Elbow is won with a Misawa rolling elbow. Doc recovers and charages right into some more elbows. Tiger driver for 2. Misawa puts on the face lock, goes for a pin, gets two. Misawa with somemore elbows for another two. Misawa hits a tiger driver, doc kicks right out, Misawa with another to get the win. Doc looked better in this match than he did in many of the ones I've seen him in recently (read, his ECW stay) The opening stuff was cool. The pacing was a bit slow, but they sold a lot, but it was good.
$%$%$%$%$ ALL JAPAN WOMEN TV(16)
-phil
Noumi vs. Manami Toyota:
This is you basic veteran pounds the rookie match. Manami must be hurt because she really hasn't been in the mix in the last couple of shows. Not much to write home about, it is hard to tell if Noumi will be any good or not.
Maekawa vs. Momoe Nakanishi:
This match just ruled the world, with Maekawa just potatoeing the crap out of Nakanishi, taking her place as the new up and coming shootstyle ass whooper(17). Maekawa was looking superfly with died aqua hair and big ears sticking out. Momo was all spunky biting Meakawa in the arm and hitting a neat little plancha, and a moonsault press. However her basic role in this match was take a whooping the likes of which we haven't seen since Hotta met Clown(18). Including the nastiest dropkick I have ever seen,a superkick that would make Shawn Michaels, Glacier and Chris Adams ashamed to wear tights, and an axekick which rocked the world. Nothing I love more then a women who can lay in a beating and with Hotta's mellowing Maekawa has captured my heart.
Two Masked Women vs. Yukimiko Hotta/Takako Inoue:
The Two masked women are just these two masked women who come in and just whip ass with sticks. This match is great as it just breaks out into a riot, with all four just beating the crud out of each other. The best part of this match is when Hotta rips off their first awesome masks(19), to reveal a pair of second even more awesome masks(20). The two masked women have the huge rookie in their corner and she spent most of the match brawling with the ring girls. Hotta who I don't remember doing a blade job before, busts out a Carlos Colon level gusher. The end of the match is kind of neat, with TWM removing there bulky combatwear and revealing their ring outfits, which identify them as Ito and Watanabe. Ito then does her top rope double stomp crushing Takako's sternum. They then do some mike work, with the jist being Hotta being shocked that her protˇgˇ's turned on her. It is a great angle which has actually gotten me excited about All Japan Women.
Yukimiko Hotta v. Shinobu Kandori:
Sort of an intermittently great match, with not enough total brutality to truly make it a classic. Does have one truly transcendent moment as Hotta lays in some real and true headbutts, splitting her own head open and letting the sweet plasma flow(21). Cool ending with Hotta hitting a pyramid driver and Kandori turning it into an armbar for the win. It was good, but I was really expecting it to be more hellacious. Hotta has kind of mellowed I guess, with Maekawa laying on more of a beating. Let's hope she regains her killer form for the rematch.
#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$ ALL JAPAN TV 3/15/98 (taped 2/28/98)
-dean
Ohmori/ Izumida vs Hansen/ Duncum Jr.:
To Hell with this match, they show highlights of the Ikeda and what looked like Satoshi Yoneyama against Shiga and Kanemoru during the Kajagoogoo ending montage and we get stuck watching this shit? Ohmori had such promise at one point in his career and now he's THIS! Yeeks! I can guess why we didn't see the BattleARTS MoFo's- because Baba has two Texans on tape(22). Stinky.
Kakihara/ Takayama vs Akiyama/ Kobashi:
This was pretty freakin beautiful. Akiyama and Kakihara steal the show here by smoking the other two in about every conceivable way. Kobashi shows his intrastyle limitations- because yeah sure he's gonna look bad against the quite ungood (But BOY! Baba! He sure is big!) Takayama because Takayama sucks the life out any match. But I wasn't expecting Kobashi to look like such the deer in the headlights against Kakihara as Kenta reverts to the NJ vs UWFi concept of "Since I don't know how to work this style, I'll just no-sell a bunch of stuff."(23) Akiyama was having a fucking homecoming as he and Kakaihara beat the holy shit out of each other and took it to the mat all shootstyle and then went all pro style with Akiyama powering his pro style Exploder into the match through sheer will and Kakihara sold it absolutely perfectly- a great mixture of UWFi Pro-style-hatred and All Japan-esque fat ass crushing suplex near death experience selling. By the end, the fat boys who were supposed to the focus of this match fumble around for a big ending and Kakihara does the perfunctory job to the baffled Kobashi who awkwardly sets up his Orange Crush. Very weird match. Kakihara and Akiyama should feud RIGHT UP TO THE DAY that Baba can scrape together the clams to get Kanehara to jump from whatever Kingdom is operating as this week and feud with Akiyama for the Triple Crown forever.
@#@#@#@#@#@# ALL JAPAN WOMEN 8/25/93
-rev.ray
This is a commercial tape, the first 1:30 of it is entirely press conference interviews and pre-show stuff (the assorted ladies reading stuff, eating, working out, checking the ring, making phone calls) which is pretty cool... would be cooler if I spoke Japanese, but I don't and I'm not motivated enough to learn yet, so there. This is my second review of an AJW tape, it's 2 years later. Outfits have improved 10 fold in that time. People start to look closer to they do now... And Mita has learned the fun of spinefusin' DVD's! It's Miller time!
(AJW) Tomoko Watanabe/Numatchi/Chikako Shiratori vs.
(LLPW) Midori Endo/Yasha Kurenai/Utako Hozumi:
Numatchi is doing a construction worker gimmick, complete with hardhat and shovel. Prematch Numatchi tells Kurenai "Look! There's Steve DiSalvo!", when she looks and gets out her autograph book, Numatchi steals her stick. Of course, she stupidly holds onto it and gloats, gets the Moe eye poke and then beat on with the stick and her own shovel. LLPW crew set her up for a pose as Hozumi does a Dick Togo-esque pose with her fan on Numatchi as Endo holds her. LLPW gals control for a bit, Tomoko uses Numatchi's hard hat to deliver some headbutts on Hozumi. Tomoko has a butt ugly color scheme, satin green, blue and orange. Apparently she's getting fashion consulting from Stevie Wonder. AJW girls work on Endo's leg. Tomoko gets in a moonsault body press as her partners hold up Endo that I don't think we'd see her doing nowadays. She also got in a spring off the middle rope turn around bodypress on Endo and Hozumi. As Kurenai and Tomoko are going at it, the lights in the building go out as Kurenai goes chokeslam crazy and they're down to spot lights to light up the ring for a bit. Numatchi gives Kurenai a bulldog as Tomoko holds her over her shoulder. She accidentally fell off when trying to make the tag in and had to climb up the ropes again to do the bulldog. She also gives Kurenai a backdrop driver, though I dunno if it was intentional or not. Kurenai gets the win on Numatchi as they fight on the top rope and Kurenai blocks the superplex attempt with a super chokeslam. Post match, Tomoko is up in Kurenai's face.
(AJW) Chapparita ASARI/Infernal KAORU vs. (JWP) Boirshoi Kid/Candy Okutsu :
Candy and Kid shoot to see who starts and get jumped, but they counter and double plancha the AJW squad. Candy and Kid do a lot of goofy stuff while KAORU and ASARI are on the floor, eventually, ASARI and KAORU walk off, but the JWP girls get the crowd to chant for them to stay. KAORU ties Kid to the ropes by her mask, Kid cries about it. It's at this point that I wish someone should start to really beat the hell out of her. KAORU has enough of the Kid and starts to unmask her, but the ref pulls her off. Then KAORU and the ref fight (I'm assuming it's a wrestler, but I don't know who) with the ref doing a run up the ropes into a cross body block on KAORU which Kid counts a two on. ASARI does two double backflip double mule kicks (the first which just grazed Kid at best). ASARI hits the Skytwister and looks like she almost kills herself. Candy gets ASARI and gives her like 8 german suplexes where she does the suplex, rolls over ASARI, picks her up and suplexes her again. The finish was cool, but the match just didn't seem to click. I usually can put up with goofy stuff in a match, but I really wanted to see someone lay a serious beating on the Kid. It's gotta be the clown outfit. I mean, I sat through the Yone Genjin snowball fight AND Magic Man hypotizing Shinzaki and didn't have a problem with it.
(AJW) Bull Nakano/ Suzuka Minami/ Etsuko Mita/ Mima Shimoda/ Bat Yoshinaga vs. (LLPW) Eagle Sawai/ Harley Saito/ Yukari Osawa/ Leo Kitimura/ Miki Handa:
Bull throws her nunchucks into the crowd before the match starts. Some lucky fan gets a souvenier and a concussion. Mita has started to grow out her hair and Cap'n Crunch[24] must have won back his shoulderpads. There was a lot of action in this, I can't do play by play, so here' the rundown.
Handa is the first to go after a DVD from the slowly evolving into a super minx Mita. Shimoda with a Tiger Suplex for elimination #2 Kitamura.
Minami kills Osawa with a powerbomb, but Rhodan Sawai answers with a quick pin on Minami and Shimoda falls with a lariat right after that. Sawai eliminates Mita after several powerbombs. Sawai and Saito control for a bit on Bull, but Bull makes it to Bat and Saito and Bat got leg lariat crazy on each other. Bat eventully eliminates Harley with a leg lariat. Bull and Eagle mix it up a bit, Bull gets in a powerbomb and leg drop on Eagle, but Eagle kicks out, but Bat and Bull keep up their offense on her and Bull puts the Roseanne of Japan down with a top rope somersault leg drop. Post match, it looks like Bat is favoring one of her legs, it looks like it gave out when she tried to bodyslam Sawai.
Cool match, there was a lot of action in this and I can't really do it justice because of all the switching and stuff.
(JWP) Cutie Suzuki v. (AJW) Takako Inoue :
Match starts with good ole' fashion BITCH SLAPPIN'! YEE HAW! And then they shake hands... girls.. go fig...Cutie controls early, Takako takes over after tombstoning Cuitie twice. The two get all bitchy with each other and doing a hair pull or two from time to time, so it looks like it borders on breaking down into a cat fight at a few points but never does. Darn, and I was hoping for a hot oil death match. Takako goes after Cutie's legs, first with a half crab and then with the cross knee scissors and then an achilles tendon hold. Cutie tries to catch Takako in a leg hold while on the mat, but Takako turns it into a half crab to put a stop to that. Cutie escapes to the ropes. After a bit of back and forth, Cutie gets in control following a DDT and gets Takako in a dragon sleeper. She does another DDT and puts the dragon sleeper on again, Takako escapes, arm drags Cutie and puts on a dragon sleeper of her own. Takako adds more pressure by hooking one of Cutie's legs as well. Cutie gets to the ropes to escape. Cutie almost scores a pin after converting a body press into a blockbuster/blizzard suplex for a near three. Cutie misse a top rope drop kick, but ducks a lariat into a German suplex. Cutie does a double stomp, goes for a top rope one, Takako rolls away but Cutie stomps her. Takako hits two chokeslams on Cutie and a top rope armdrag. Takako gives her a super chokeslam for a two. Takako gets a near fall with a German suplex; she goes for another Cutie kicks out and hits a dragon suplex for a near three. Takako escapes a second attempt and hits a back suplex and both are down for a bit, when they get up, they drop each other with a forearm. Takako recovers first and puts her away with the Destiny Hammer top Rope Knee. Nothing spectacular, but better than anything on the 4/16/98 WCW Chunder[25] which I gave up on and decided to start reviewing the tape again.
(AJW) Toshiyo Yamada/Kaoru Ito v. (FMW) Megumi Kudo/Yuki Nabeno :
It looks like Yamada had to scramble to find a partner last minute and pulled Ito out of her audition to be Tinkerbell. AJW girls control early, which Yamada softening up Megumi and Ito getting her shots in. Yamada does a cool ass leg hold. Basically, it looks like she puts one of Kudo's legs into a torture rack and then starts spinning her around. The AJW control for a while, but after a miscue where Yamada accidentally elbows Ito. FMW girls rally with Kudo going tigerdriver crazy on Ito as Yuki tries to hold off Yamada on the floor. Ito survives the onslaught and tags Yamada who starts kicking the bejesus out of Yuki despite the attempts of Kudo to block it. Ito then goes double stomp crazy on her. Kudo tries to make the save, but gets knocked out on the floor and gets a top rope double stomp to the floor, with her out of the way, Yuki falls victim to the double stomp. Eh match. Would have liked to have seen a bit more of Yamada in it as she's quickly becoming one of my favorite women's wrestlers. Ito is double stomp and butt butt intensive
at this point, but pretty agile as well.
(AJW) Kyoko Inoue vs. (LLPW) Shinobu Kandori :
Kandori apparently is in no mood to interview as she says about 2 sentences and shoves the announcer away. It's an interesting contrast as you've got the smiling and happy Kyoko against the always pissed off because she's mistaken for a man all the time Kandori. Kyoko ducks an opening lariat and controls early, getting in an airplane spin and a elevated surfboard until she runs Kandori's head into the buckles and she gets all Missing Link on us and starts headbutting Kyoko. Kandori roughs her up on the floor a bit and starts going after the leg with submission holds. Kyoko rope saves and gets on offense again by faking a punch, as Kandori blows it off, she gets hit with a double chop. Kyoko starts working on the legs with assorted lucha-esque mat work submission holds, including a pendulum hold. Kandori weathers this and ends up going back to the leg submissions. Kyoko escapes, Kandori goes out to the floor to tie her shoes (really). They face off again, Kyoko uses a bunch of slaps, Kandori shakes it off, goes for the cross arm breaker, Kyoko makes the ropes. Kyoko downs Kandori with a spring off the ropes back elbow, puts her in one of DEAN!'s favorite holds, the Giant Swing. They recover a bit, Kyoko goes for the spring off the ropes elbow again, but Kandori backsteps it and goes for a sleeper, Kyoko makes the ropes again. Kyoko sets up her run up the ropes back elbow and misses, Kandori gets her in the choke sleeper and swings her around a bit. Kandori lets her recover and sort of taunts the crowd into doing the "Kyoko clapclaclap" chants. Kandori does a powerbomb for a 2. Kandori calls for another, Kyoko flips out into a double chop but gets caught in a choke sleeper and then a cobra clutch which she kicks out off. Kyoko gives her a release german suplex. Kyoko hits her run up the ropes elbow for a two. Kyoko's powerbomb attempt is blocked, but she answers with a second rope and a top rope drop kick for a two. Kyoko goes for the powerbomb, Kandori spins out but Kyoko block her attempt. They go counter for counter Kandori almost gets a 3 with a tiger driver. Kyoko gets a few near falls with cradles and packages. Kyoko hits a clothesline and powerbombs Kandori for another near 3. The fans boo as it looks like it was a three. Kandori gets on a Wakigatme. Kyoko rope saves. Repeat again with a rope save. Kandori answers with a arm scissors and a wristlock submission combo to get Kyoko to give it up.
(AJW) Sakie Hasegawa/Manascreami Toyota/Yomiko Hotta vs. (JWP) Mayumi Ozaki/Hikari Fukuoka/Plum Mariko:
JWP girls jump Hotta at the opening, Hotta responds by stiff kicking Plum. Hasegawa holds the ropes open for her to do a plancha. We go into a mini train wreck of planchas early. Tags go around, Hasegawa comes in and gives Hikari 9 or 10 locomotion underhook suplexes. Hotta comes in and kicks Hikari around and gives her a piledriver. Oz taggs in and faces off with Sakie and gives her a piledriver that looks really really bad (Sakie sort of falls backwards onto Oz and doesn't really land on her head at all). A few tags, Fukuoka ties uip Hawegawa in sort of a dragon slepper. Hasegawa face slams Oz and tags to Manascreami who beat on Oz a bit, who tags to Hiraki. They do a nice segment on the mat. Toyota fights out of an attempted triple team in the corner and then barely pulls out a nearly flubbed assisted plancha from Hotta and Sakie. Toyota gets Plum in a weird ass hold where she double underhooks the arms, falls on her back and pins Plum's legs with hers. Hotta comes in and kicks Plum in the back. Sakie gets Plum in a camel clutch, Hotta kicks her in the chest. Hotta tags in, hits an two overhead face first powerbombs for a two count. Toyota mixes it up a bit with Plum who tags to Hiraki who puts Manascreami in a octopus holds and then tags Oz. Oz puts Toyota in a few sumbissions, hits a powerbomb for a two. Plum tags in and works the leg and gets Toyota to do what she does best (aside from flub springboard planchas), Scream. Hiraki tags in and gets her in a figure four. Oz misses a top rope somersault body block and Hasegawa comes in. After a bit, there's a segment where people are going in left and right to do saves. Hiraki and Manascreami do dueling rolling cradles. I get dizzy just watching it. Hasegawa goes jumping back kick crazy on Hiraki. Hiraki survives the AJW girl onslaught makes the tag to Plum. Hasegawa is on the receiving end of Plum abuse. JWP girls seem to triple team Hotta when they get a chance. They set up train wreck two of the match with the JWP girls and Manascreami. Hotta puts Hiraki on her shoulders and Manascreami and Hasegawa double top rope drop kick her. Hotta hits the pryamid driver, but JWP girls save. Hotta accidentally top rope leg lariats Sakie, leading to Oz and Hikari getting a near fall on Sakie following a top rope splash and moonsault. There's a lot of top rope double team set ups that are blocked. Finish comes with Hiraki getting out of a shoulder mount, Plum and Oz miss a double top rope headbutt attempt (it sort of looked like Oz ended up headbutting Plum), but Hiraki hits a straightjacket german suplex to score the win. Best segments were usually between Hiraki and Toyota. Hiraki I would say was the budweiser wrestler of the match. Sakie looked good (though she was a bit off with a few of her back kicks).
(AJW) Akira Hokuto vs. (LLPW) Rumi Kazama : All Pacific Title match
Rumi attacks Akira before the bell, Akira answers with two piledrivers for a two, follows up with a spin kick. and then a crossface armlock into a dragon sleeper. Akira yells give up, Rumi gives her the finger. Akira hits a back suplex and then applies a scorpion death lock. She tries to rope break but Akira slaps her arm and traps it, but she reaches with her other arm. Akira misses a corner charge and gets hit with a high roundhouse kick. Rumi works over Akira's bad leg, Akira rope breaks. They mix it up a bit, Rumi gets on a wakigatme and goes after the knee again. Akira slaps out of it, apples her own hold and they both roll to the ropes. Rumi kicks away at her leg on the floor. Akira controls with kicks when she re-enters, but misses a lariat and gets hit with a german suplex for two. Rumi dives into Akira's feet. Akira misses a top rope drop kick, Rumi kicks her and tiger suplexes her for two. Rumi hits a top rope leg lariat for two, then kicks Akira in the ass a bunch knocking her to the floor. Akira dodges a plancha attempt and hits her somersault plancha. Akira attempts the Northern Lights Bomb, but Rumi punches or kicks out of it. Rumi goes for a spin kick, but Akira catches her a and suplexes her for a two. Rumi hits a rana for a two. Akira dives into a roundhouse kick. They fight over a german suplex attempt, Rumi turns it into a cross knee scissors on the bad leg. Akira fights to the ropes. Hokuto hits a doctor bomb for a two. Akira shakes off the bad leg, hits a top rope drop kick for a two. Akira goes for the NLB, but is escapes, Rumi hits a german suplex for a two, then a powerbomb for two. Akira hits sort of a reverse NLB for a two, then follows with a Northern Lights Bomb to score the win.
Post match, Akira makes some comments and Kandori comes out. And they have a little verbal battle.
Aja Kong v. Dynamite Kansai : for the WWWA Title :
Both girls have a staredown from their corners before the match begins and then during their handshake. The opening is back and forth with both testing each other a little. Aja gets control first with a half crab/armbar combo. The do some strikes at each other, Aja hits a piledriver and applies a boston crab. Dynamite leg sweeps Aja and goes after her leg a bit, then moves into a chinlock. Dynamite then moves to kicking her a bit, then struggles to get Aja up, but does hit a piledriver. Dynamite puts Aja in a scorpion deathlock, Aja hits the ropes. Dynamite answers with a half crab. Aja rope saves, slap/chops Dynamite in the face, then kicks her in the face and applies a scorpion death lock of her own. Dynamite tries to reach the ropes, but Aja drags her back with a half crab and then some other leg lock until Kansai does hit the ropes. Aja runs into a kick and Kansai follows with a lariat. Reverse roles and repeat. Aja puts Kansai in a Canadian back breaker, runs her into the corner and hangs her there. Aja avalanches her. Aja misses the uraken, Kansai powerslams her. Kansai knocks her out to the floor and hits a plancha. Kansai slams her and hits a diving headbutt for two. Aja back drops out of a Powerbomb attempt, pushes Dyanmite into a corner for another. Dynamite goes for a third and Aja drops her with an Uraken. Aja decides to try to get a knock out count. Dynamite gets up a 8. Aja slam and a second rope splash. Aja goes for a splash body attack, Dynamite tries to kick her, but Aja just splashes her leg. Back suplex for a two by Aja. Kansai ducks two urakens, hits a weak kick, a weak looking uraken and a high roundkick of her own. She tells the ref to count down Aja, which goes to 8. Aja catches Kansai with a fall away back body drop fro a two. Aja gets caught climbing the ropes, Kansai hits Splash Mountain for a two, then applies an STF. Kansai kicks her in the head a bunch, Aja ducks a roundhouse kick, hits a german for two. Back suplex by Aja. Aja hits her with 4 urakens but Kansai keeps getting up. Aja sets Dynamite on the top rope, kansai fights her, Aja hits her with 2 urakens and finishs her off two a fall away back body drop for the win.
All in all, 5 hours 45 minutes. Now that's how you do a video. Would appriciate it more if I spoke Japanese, but like i said.... I don't and I'm lazy. So there.
!@!@!@!@!@!@ MICHINOKU LUCHA TV 3/21/98.
-dean.
Gran Hamada/ Men's Teioh/ Funaki vs Super Delfin/ Tiger Mask/ Naniwa (26):
This KDX-Seikungunshingun lovefest is making Michinoku Pro quite the harmless, ineffectual batch of Japanese wrestling. I mean it's still some of the best anywhere, but it's not nearly as hot as it should. I mean Hamada and Teioh tagging together? Hamada doing the TOGO pose? Hmmm... Luckily, there is huge wads of Groupo Revolucion straight from Mexico later in the show so this is easier to take. MEN'S Teioh decides to kill Naniwa before going to the WWF by powerbombing him into a turnbuckle twice as hard as Kobashi powerbombed Misawa, which I figured killed Misawa.(27)
W*ING Kanemura/ Mr. Gannosuke vs Shinzaki/ Hayabusa:
Oh Momma, this was fucking great! Gannosuke and Kanemura do a whole dance routine. It was like Lioness Asuka and Chigusa Nagayo in 1988- except the FMW guys are better dancers(28). Who the hell said that Kanemura can't move anymore? He was pretty fucking agile in this baby. He and the wildly resurgent Gannosuke beat the hell out of Shinzaki and then have a real match with the wildly resurgent Hayabusa. Kanemura and Gannosuke make a good little tagteam and I dug this for assorted and sundry reasons.
Tajiri/ Men's Teioh/ Funaki vs Gran Hamada/ Hoshikawa/ Yakushiji:
This was really cool, as MP gets back on track during this show. I'm just wondering why they didn't show the Hoshikawa vs Tajiri match too? I'm sure it was boss. This had more of the feel of the classic MP sixman with it being a whole lot more heated than the last couple that they';ve had and I think it all has to do with Tajiri(29). Tajiri was suitably cast as the Outsider Dick that is the cool role that Liger created for his forays into WAR and Big Japan when he and El Samurai would kick everybody's scrawny indie ass. Hamada ruled it hard in this as he and Funaki rip it up in an MP old school way. Tajiri beats the hell out of Yakushiji and this sets up MEN'S Tieoh's attept to kill Yakushiji before he heads out to the WWF by breaking his neck with a couple of really swank submission holds. This was more like it.
Magnum Tokyo vs Tony Rivera:
All this impossible to find Groupo Revolucion stuff makes all this MP Lucha stuff absolutely invaluable. This match was pretty good for a couple of guys who are rookies. Magnum Tokyo does REALLY great top rope Asai Moonsault and is quite credible on the mat and he and Rivera had a match that was far beyond the reach of those who have been wrestling for such a short period of time. Maybe this Rivera will pan out after all.
Shiryu(30) / Tsubasa/ Kendo vs Violencia/ Rey Buccanero/ Black Warrior:
HEY YOU! Look at THIS line-up! BOY! This was as good as you imagine. Yes, Black Warrior and Shiryu actually get in the ring at the same time and we get to watch! It's not NEARLY long enough. WOO-HOO! This match has the best rudo trio you can assemble at this day and time. BW, Violencia and Bucanero are the three best rudos currently wrestling and the fact that they are here together is mind-blowingly funtabulous. Bucanero carries the green but VASTLY improved Tsubasa to a cool finish. Tsubasa has become quite the little spot machine and he hit some nice things in this. BW and Rey Bucanero try to figure out who is gonna take the most skull-reshaping bump and Violencia kicks both of their asses with the PHAT ASS no-hands Jerry Estrada Special. Kendo (the former Blackman) actually didn't make me sick and hit a really cool head-scissors. Not enough Black Warrior, but HELL when is there EVER enough of Black Warrior? This was fucking GREAT.
Ultimo Dragon vs Dr. Wagner Jr.:
Dr. Wagner CONTINUES his super hot streak and has good little match with Ultimo Dragon- the REAL DRAGON. This gets all Japanese as Dr Wagner has become the latest to convert to the Lucharesu in the in-ring psychology and moveset. Not as mind-boggling great as that Dr Wagner vs Mr Niebla breakthrough match but still, Wagner hung with UD and+ UD didn't dumb it down like I've seen him have to do. With Ultimo, speed is the key to the transcendent UD match and Wagner didn't get it to THAT workrate but still this was a fine little match. GET ALLLLL THIS.
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ENDNOTES
(1)Nakanishi may be better known to American fans as Kurasowa. His nome
de plume in his WCW stint. Trivia fans take note, he was on the
receiving end of Disco Inferno's first WCW victory. As the ref was
distracted by a sequin jumpsuit clad Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker, a Disco ball
lowered and Disco hit Kurasawa with it causing him to lose. Nakanishis
was in the Olympics too !!
(2) For some reason every New Japan heavyweight match at some point has
to have one competitor stand in the middle of the ring and dare his
opponent the ropes and hit him. Hashimoto doesn't do it and he is the
only Heavyweight worth two shits in New Japan.
(3)Hayato Nanjyo wore a mask in his early days in FMW. For some reason he removed that mask a while back. This was a huge mistake because he is real, real ugly. With a Manuel Noriega like pockmarked face and a huge afro, he is about the ugliest wrestler this side of Joe LeDuc.
(4)Although Nanjo is so ugly he isn't even fucking his own wife.
(5)Unfortunately Ohtani has seemingly based his career on Kenta Kobashi, taking all the super irritating portions of Kobashi's style, for example the sobbing after not getting the pin which is super bothersome and makes Shinjiro look like a big candyass. Also Kobashi is notorious for his scattershot selling (see him no selling Steve Williams backdrop driver) and Ohtani has recently begun to do some no-selling which really sucks, for example he basically no-sold a tombstone from Ultimo Dragon in their match something that would getting his throat slit and his tongue pulled through the opening if he ever tried it in Mexico.
(6)You know that whole "Izumida can't beat Honda because he hasn't gotten his first win over Omori and Omori is higher on the scale then Honda" shit that the Uberdorks at the Other Arena spend hours jacking off about.
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(7.) It's the same one he did when he killed himself dead on that "CMLL in Japan" tape. You remember. You said to yourself,"GOLLY! I bet that there wrestlin fella won't try that no more!! He jumped right on his DANG HAY-ED! DURN!" Guess what?
(8.) Speaking o' which, Schneider has lunch with the promoter who runs IWC and is quasi-working for them currently so I've been all insider and shit! WOO-HOO! Anyway, they are coming back June 2 to UDC, so here's a plug. Black M****** F****** Warrior is confirmed. So is Violencia. Of course, I would have been there if it was just a Gran Markus vs Cien Caras one hour iron-man match, but I'm a freak. Yes, I am tres stoked.
(9.)Atlantico has the Seahorses on the side of his mask whereas Atlantico has the wacky fish on the side. Don't that just beat the Dutch.
(10.)I'd call Scorpio Jr "Scott Putski under a mask", but Scorp don't suck that much. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(11.)Except for that toprope Asai Moonsault by Olympico that one time where he crushed both of his ankles on the guardrail. For no particular reason. That was great!
(12)I'm DEFINATELY marking out like an eight year old when BW hits the ring in DC.
(13)A Tombstone Pile Driver in Mexico is like a sawed-off shot gun in ECW- except a tombstone gets more heat in Mexico than anything that ECW can ever conjure up because in Mexico they protect their finishers with a deadly persistence- which is another reason to like the mysterious Lucha Libre. Fuck "entertainment". This is beyond art, Mother Fucker.
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[14]Not do be confused with Octopus on the Ice which
occurs at Detroit Red Wings hockey games.
[15]Cases of manboobs can be treated with the Manzeir
or the Bro.
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(16)Oddly, the closer All Japan Women comes to bankruptcy the more insanely elaborate and expensive their production values become. They have this big computer animated opening that looks like it cost 650,000 dollars, as well as 18 separate announcers calling the match. "I am Yoji I call armbars", "I am Meiko I discuss wrestlers clothes."
(17) For some reason, Japanese women wrestlers are even tougher then the male Japanese wrestlers. Women like Yukimiko Hotta, Dynamite Kansai, Toshiaki Yamada and now Maekawa work super stiff- just laying in brutal kicks that would make sissfied pussboy pantywasit American wrestles like Hulk Hogan and Kevin Nash cry like a toddler who got his favorite
stuffed zebra stolen.
(18)This refers to the infamous six-women match at Dreamslam II where Yukimiko Hotta beat the ever lovin crap out of the Doinkesque tiny Commander Borshoi, the overall effect of this was a huge mean lesbian beating the hell out of a nine year old in a Halloween costume.
(19)Black with multiple eye holes running up and down the mask
(20)Gold face with painted on ears and red eyes
(21)Ten billion zillion times more hardcore then anything ever done in any bingo hall anywhere in the world
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(22)What we HELL is Baba's bizarre fixation with big Texans? Does somebody need to send him some tapes of Black Jack Mulligan to prove to him that not everybody who wears a cowboy hat is a world-class worker who should be pushed to the top. I mean Bobby Duncam Jr isn't horrible or anything, but should he really be in All Japan? The difference is that he's basically Bart Gunn, but he's got that Cowboy hat. I know where this all stems from: It's Dick Murdock. He was so freakin' good in New Japan that Baba got fixated and envious, since in a real fight, I'd take Dick Murdock over Stan Hansen any day of the week. GODDAM. Now THAT would have been a great fricking PPV- Murdock vs Hansen in the Octagon- the Ultimate Ultimate Extreme Fighting Super Fight Championship. I'd a payed to see it. The winner could have torn Tank Abbott a new one.
(23)All Japan has the making of a truly ass-stomping shootstyle division with Kakihara, Ono, Yoneyama and Ikeda all kicking around. They need to raid BattleARTS more extensively and push Ikeda as Taue and Kawada's third guy. Hell, what's Takada doing this week?
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[24] Part of this nutricious Breakfast.
[25] The names of the people on this show omitted to protect the guilty... because there were too many to mention.
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(26)Phil is convinced that Naniwa is still home recovering from his broken leg and that this is a replacement guy who sucks. I'm thinking that they got Yone Genjin to do the honors. Either way, Welcome to Polar Opposite Of Kanemoto Coming Back From A Broken Leg.
(27)I had ALMOST forgotten to mention this but Phil and I were talking on the phone tonight- he doesn't have cable and+ I was telling him of Juventud being all over Nitro the last two days for some reason. We then busted on each other because he watched "Shaft Goes To Africa" for the first time a\nd I busted on him because he had never seen "Dolemite" or "Billy Jack" and he thought I was a total square because I had never seen "The Mack" or "Wild In The Street". It was late.
(28)One day soon I'm gonna make my first publicly distributed compilation tape. It's gonna be the Best of "All Japan Women Sing"/ "Calgary Stampede Wrestlings Greatest Interviews". Chigusa sings that bizarre salsa hit she had and then Benoit says, "You tellem, Beef. Great Gamma can't use those illegal tactics and get away with it." I'm stoked!
(29)Tajiri in CMLL wasn't nearly as good as Tajiri in Big Japan and I fear for Tajirir in the WWF. I dunno. What would be the problem of Tajiri going to New Japan? Hell, Liger loved the hell out of him or he wouldn't have had fuckin' Ohtani put him over.
(30)Shiryu is KAZ Hayashi of WCW fame. I await KAZ vs Kanemoto very soon in the Top O the Super Junior 1998! Talk about being all hurty and stuff.
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NEXT WEEK: More LUCHA LIBRE! GAEA! ALL JAPAN WOMEN! JWP! ALL JAPAN! NEW JAPAN! And the afterglow of a whip ass OMEGA Houseshow! WHIP ASS!
Dean Rasmussen, SHIRYUHEAD!
I'm gonna buy me a gun just as long as my arm
and kill everyone who every done me harm.
I'm gonna buy me a graveyard of my own,
bury everyone who ever done me wrong.
-- For The Love Of Ivy, the Gun Club.
