SUGAR SATO! and SONOKO KATO! beat the hell out of each other! MITSUHARU
MATSUNAGA! freaks out in barbed wire! SHIMA NOBUNAGA! goes hogwild!
CAROL MADORI! addles the Ripper. and other things.
ALOHA~!
WELCOME TO THE DEATH VALLEY DRIVER VIDEO REVIEW #86!
The Death Valley Playboys have been watching tapes like SUPERFREAKS to keep up
with the swanky deluge of Grappling Awesomeness supplied by Bad-ass Billy, GLENN~!
King Of Men~!, Tracy and Rob Vincent- Canadian Superstud. I AM DEAN! I AM
FIRST! HERE I AM....
#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$# GAEA-G-PANIC #14- 11/30/98.
(byDEAN RASMUSSEN)
SUGAR Sato vs Sonoko Kato:
MAN! This was some BIG-TIME professional wrestling. Sugar and Sonoko have a very
beautiful, simple match where they doggedly focus on three specific points of attack- Kato
goes for chokes and sleepers, Sugar starts off going for the leg but settles for an extended
foray into striking that gets downright WITHERING in its intensity. This was like an
ARSION or BattlARTS match because I donÕt think they ran the ropes once. It was all in
the middle of the ring and it was stiff as a mutha. Sonoko starts off by wrangling the
alluring SUGAR into a Crippler Crossface (or Haji-Gataji-Kaji-Maji) and then settling into
a Chigusa sleeper. Kato has become a total Chigusa Fangirl- forsaking all shootstyle to go
all Roman and matty and stuff so here we begin the Ode to Chigusa. Sugar hits some
Dragonscrews to set up her Figure Four that Sonoko finally gets out of after going about
the Steamboat amount of time before reaching the ropes. After a couple of exchanges of
Sleeper Attempts and Dragonscrews, SUGAR busts out her PHAT ASS Uracan and Kato
decides to match her Uricans with her big kicks. Sugar has been filling out as she is
entering deeply into Womanhood, leaving the scrawniness of her girlish style far behind,
becoming a more powerful wrestler and becoming a harbinger of a new age of
SuperVixen- to replace the ULTIMATE Supervixen Mima Shimoda. Sugar might
actually beat out Mima- just because Sugar has that supercool Innocence Lost look going
which makes her ass-kicking tendencies seem that much more beautiful and multi-faceted .
Plus, her Uricans now look meaner than OzakiÕs just because Sugar is putting a lot more
muscle behind them now that she is entering the full bloom of Womanliness. Sonoko Kato
has also been entering the Kingdom of True Womanhood so she is Kato and Sugar
basically spend the rest of the match bashing each other in the head, with Sugar hitting
three of her swanky powerbombs. Finally it comes down to all to Sugar and Kato going
toe to toe- Urican to Urican- with Sugar crushing KatoÕs head with three VERY LARGE
shots to the head to kill the young Sonoko dead. Sugar is then not a very good winner by
stomping the mortal remains of Miss Kato in a bout of minky RAGE! This was fun. This
was cool. This was good.
Chikayo Nagashima vs Toshie Uematsu:
Nagashima is white hot as of late and Toshie Uematsu is on a big comeback so I was
sufficiently stoked about this. I was a little disappointed the first time I watched this and I
canÕt figure out why- because the second time I watched it, it was really good. They are a
sloppy in a couple of spots but overall itÕs pretty sharp stuff- with it veering off into
highflying tangents and neato suplexes. Toshie does some nice counters out of
NagashimaÕs totally BOSS Fishermanbuster Suplex- including the stealable Double Knee
Dropkick. Nagashima is such a cool little flyer and the fact that sheÕs incorporated some
top of the line suplexes puts her in a different realm of worker than the formative last two
years. Toshie Uematsu refuses to fade into obscurity and she seals her own fate as a neato
wrestler with the Kawada no-sell of the first Fishermanbuster so she can stumble into the
second one as Nagashima mows her down. This one grows on you and I think IÕm a
watch it again.
KAORU/ Ishii vs Meiko Satomura/ Toshie Uematsu:
HEY! Riina Iishii gets some airtime! WOO-HOO! SheÕs my darkhorse favorite of the
youngsters in GAEA. Underutilized and possibly talented, she always showed the goods
whenever she showed up in the random tag. She doesnÕt botch anything here and is all
feisty- making with the headbutts and elbows. The big story is that KAORU thinks
Satomura is a little spoiled prisspot and Meiko thinks KAORU is a dried up old hag. Each
has gotten a a pin on the other with KAORU killing the motherFUDGE out of Satomura
with a RUNNING Excalibur in a singles match recently and Meiko got the Straightjacket
Death Valley Bomb on the divine KAORU in a tag match, so this is the next in the series
of HATE! This was pretty cool- as Riina Ishii hits a FAT ASS Toprope Senton on Meiko
to the glee of KAORU and they both spend a lot of time doing lots of toperope double
stomps on the Future Of Professional Wrestling. They do this nifty section where itÕs
Lucha-like in its complexity and sharp in its execution where it goes from a KAORU
dropkick on Satomura into a triple roll-up section into German Suplex and ends up as
Uematsu Powerbomb. Toshie Uematsu and KAORU start beating the crap out of each
other and lil Ishii falls victim to SatomuraÕs Death Valley Bomb and there you go.
KAORU decides postmatch that she ACTUALLY hates UEMATSUÕs guts and goes after
her. The ever-funtabulous GAEA pull-apart ensues.
ToshiyoYamada vs Mayumi Ozaki:
This limps in and nevers gets up to speed. They actually do a crappy version of the Kato
vs SUGAR match from earlier in the show but Sugar didnÕt kick out three Dangerous
Backdrops, no-sell a toprope spin kick and hit the lamest Uricans in her career. Yamada
sleep walked through this and hit some the cruddiest Reverse Gory Drivers IÕve ever seen
her hit. Someone was hurt and I think they went ahead with the match anyway.
Whatever the excuse, thereÕs no excuse for this making it onto TV.
Toshiyo Yamada vs Aja Kong:
ItÕs still not clear if YamadaÕs busted up body is finally catching up with her because Aja is
Aja- so this is gonna be great regardless of what condition her opponent is in. Whereas it
looked like Oz was easing up on Toshiyo, Aja knows what it takes to be the Woman so
she has a big flashback to the Hotta vs Yamada matches and remembered that Yamada is
capable of taking a large beatdown. One reason that this match works is that Aja channels
this and proceeds to lay down the headbustinÕ. The other reason that this match does
nothing but work is because one of the reasons Aja is one of the all-time greats is because
she fearlessly sells like a wrestler half her size- which makes her opponent always look
good and makes Aja look good in the annals of Professional Wrestling- because she will
be remembered as a great, giving wrestler as opposed to a monster heel- which is what she
could have settled for. Aja takes control early, beating Yamada to death with tres stiff
chairshots as Aja kicks YamadaÕs ass from one end of Kouraken to the other. They do
this spot where Aja throws her off this ramp while Aja has her draped in a section of the
guardrail. After Yamada gets in some kicks and Aja gets in some mauling, Yamada gets
knocked to the floor and Aja- being Aja- whips out The WorldÕs Phattest Ass Tope and
takes out Yamada and the whole 1998 GAEA Freshman class. That HAD to suck! From
there, itÕs a race to finisher as Yamada gets in a batch of her jumping spin kicks that Aja
takes like a QUEEN. Yamada fearlessly stands there and takes a Building Demolisher of a
Urican on the toprope as Aja proceeds to do the Backwards Powerslam off the top.
Yamada gets in some desperation big kicks to the face but the gloves are off and the Big
Urican Of Face-Caving Proportions is a-coming and itÕs all over. I love Aja Kong. I
loved this match. You, gentle reader, should get all of this.
@#@#@#@#@#@ MICHINOKU PRO TV Special - 1998 TAG LEAGUE SPECIAL
10/98.
(byREVEREND RAY!)
Last time on as the MPro turns...
Hoshikawa gets his first big win over the Great Sasuke. Tiger Mask IV and the Great
Sasuke defeat Masked Tiger and Sasuke the Great in a tag match and taking Tiger's hood
revealing him to be Takashi Ono. During this, there is a fall out between Sasuke and the
Mpro men, resulting in a pull apart between Delfin and Sasuke. Sasuke says "Hey, I really
miss the days of Kaientai DX kicking your asses all the time". So, armed with boxes of
Trojans, a case a Schlitz, a carton of Kools, and subscriptions to Club Magazine, Cherri
and Hustler, The Great Sasuke convinces the new surley punks of wrestling, CRAZY
MAX, that he's scum just like them and they should whip ass on those puss boys in MPro.
So, the Great Sasuke becomes SASUKE, hooks up with CRAZY MAX and Bad Hair Day
(Ono, Orihara) and gets a great new evil mask to become the new rudo of Michinoku Pro.
Teams for the tournament : Yone Genjin/The Convict, Hoshikawa/Yakushiji,
Hamada/Tiger Mask IV, Delfin/Naniwa, Nobunaga/Sumo Fuji, SASUKE/Sasuke the
Great.
SASAUKE/Sasuke the Great vs. Super Delfin/Gran Naniwa:
The Sasuke's attack at the bell because Delfin and Naniwa have the UGLIEST color
scheme this side of Tomoko Watanabe's outfits from that AJW show from 1993 I
reviewed about 5 or 6 reports back. Los Sasuke's come up with new and dickish ways to
UN FOUL! Crab-boy, includging a top rope knee drop by SASUKE to Naniwa's gnads as
the Great holds his legs open. Naniwa goes Doctor Bomb crazy, but they can't get the
pin. Delfin proves that Lyger is the true master of the shotay. The Sasukes do stereo
quebradas onto the Fashion Emergencies. They superplex Naniwa for a 2 before Delfin
saves, so they superbomb him. The Great moonsaults both guys, then SASUKE
somersault sentons them both and Ted Tanabe DQs them for some unknown reason. Post
match, SASUKE and Nobunaga cut a promo. Shima threatens the JYB boys (what's that
stand for anyone? Jive Young Brothers?) Yakushiji and Hoshikawa with handcuffs.
SASUKE quotes Michael Jackson by saying "Bad! Bad! Bad! Who's Bad!" I'm not
making that up either.
Shima Nobunaga/ SumoFuji vs Hoshikawa/Yakushiji:
Hoshikawa takes it to the mat early with Sumo and has the advantage. Yakushiji and
Shim are pretty evenly matched up until CRAZY MAX decide to get all rudo on them,
including some floor brawling with Nobunaga using people's shoes which are lying on the
outside of floor mats. Sumo Fuji proves that he seems to have studied the tapes of the
Giant and not Kanyon like the rest of his surley band of dicks as his offense just ain't as
cutting edge. Hoshikawa beats on him a bit, inculding a cool drop kick to the face until
Fuji UN FOUL!'s him. Shima and Masato get all lucha on each other, culminating in Peter
Pan's baseball slide into a head scissors on the floor. JYB boys take it into the crowd,
including Yakushiji knocking one of the garage doors in the fine warehouse they wrestle in
with Shima's body. They tie up Shima in the ropes and Hoshikawa kicks him in the chest a
few times, then kills him with a lariat in ring. They bust out a weird move where
Hoshikawa holds Shima up for for a suplex, Masato drop kicks him in the face and then
Hoshikawa drops him into a gordbuster. CRAZY MAX start busting out their cool
double teams on Yakushiji which ends with them going for their KDX surfer boy deal
which Hoshikawa breaks up by drop kicking Nobunaga off the pile's back. CRAZY MAX
then beat on Hoshikawa with even more tripped out double teams. It's like they started
watching old Midnight Express matches while tripping on acid. The future of double team
moves are here and they're used by CRAZY MAX! Learn to love it. Hoshikawa shows
that for a shooter boy, he can throw a swank tope. Yakushiji beats on Sumo until Fuji hits
a chokeslam for a two, then a powerslam for another two. He goes for another
chokeslam, but Masato frankenranas out of it. JYB boys hit their Northern Lights
Suplex/moonsault and top rope drop kick into a German for two. Nobunaga tries to kill
himself with a corkscrew plancha. Hoshikawa beats on Sumo until Judo low blows him.
Nobunaga hits his reverse crucifix slam thingy that he stole from Mike Quackenbush and
sets up for the best damn frog splash this side of Love Machine or Reckless Youth, but
Yakushiji causes him to crotch himself on the top rope as the time limit expires. Both
sides work the mic and I find it a million times more entertaining the Scott "The Foutain of
Juice" Steiner on THE STICK and I don't even speak Japanese.
Shima Nobunaga/Sumo Fuji vs The Convict/Yone Genjin: This is clips. CRAZY MAX
beats on both guys a bit and ends up getting a win via countout.
Yakushiji/Hoshikawa vs Delfin/Naniwa: This is also clips. A lot of guys hitting their
finisher spots with their partners making the save. This one is real screwed up as it seems
the bell rings to signal the finish before they get to the finish, which leads to things
stopping and then taking it home quick with Naniwa pinning Hoshikawa with a forward
roll up after ducking the Top Rope Drop Kick/German suplex finisher.
Yakushiji/Hoshikawa vs Tiger Mask IV/Gran Hamada:[clips] Tiger seems to get the
youngsters in trouble a whole lot, but their partner makes the save. This ends as a draw as
they slap cross arm breakers on each other.
Los SASUKEs vs The Convict/Yone Genjin:
This ends up outside the building as SASUKE throws Yone into a fountain outside the
building and then tries to give him cramps by stealing food from people outside and
jamming it into Yone's mouth. SASUKE busts out a fencing sword and uses it on the
Convict. Los SASUKE's get DQed after 17 minutes when SASUKE holds open Yone's
legs and The Great gives a diving headbutt to his area. That's right, they got DQed
against a team with Yone Genjin on it. They beat up Ted Tanabe afterwards. SASUKE
does his new bit where he sits in the ring with a mini table with a beer and food on it. He
stands up and flips the table over. He's now a weird mix of the Sandman and Tiger Jeet
Singh with work rate.
Hey, they're selling the Secrets of Magic Revealed on video in japan. And we got it free in
the States. USA! USA! USA!
We go on location and guitar boy from the usual MPro show sings a song outdoors.
Battle Royal : This is one of the royal rumble style battle royals where all of the
Michinoku Pro experimental gimmicks are used. It starts off with the Leather Boy
gimmick and one of the Masked Man GKs, followed by another GK and they eliminate the
Leather Boy. Shiryu II comes in and one of the GK's eliminates the other. Enter the
Convict and GEKKO and two gimmicks I can't figure out and one guy who I'm pretty sure
is Ikeda in a the old Sasuke outfit. Enter Giant Zebra who was with the compay a while
back. Enter the Geisha Girl gimmick. Enter two guys doing the relay racer gimmick.
They both do the schtick but never make it to the ring because when they make it to
ringside, they start doing stretching exercises and they get jumped by a few people. The
match ends up coming down to Shiryu II and the Geisha Girl which Shiryu II wins with
the camel clutch. It's weird and it's the gimmicks, but it has it's moments.
Yone Genjin vs. Tiger Mask I:
The dream shoot match of all time as Cave Man Boy takes on one of the founders of the
original UWF. Yone's sporting some heavy shoulder braces. This is a whole lot of "Tiger
kicks and stretches the crap out of Yone and there's not a whole lot he can do about it".
Tiger wins with his twisting toe hold into a knee bar for the win. Post match, Yone tells
reporters, in Spanish mind you, that he's retiring in January.
Guitar Boy tries to bribe his way into getting an interview with SASUKE and his band of
rudos with something in a bag. I'm assuming it's one of those naked woman cakes certain
bakeries will make. Have I mentioned SASUKE's new mask rules? It seems like
SASUKE is really into CRAZY MAX and Nobunaga seems to get a lot of mic time, which
means that they're probably building Shima as their number 2 heat magnet.
10 Man Tag : Los SASUKE's & the entire CRAZY MAX vs Delfin, Naniwa, Yakushiji,
Hamada, Tiger IV:
This breaks down right at the bell. They go around the building, SASUKE piledrivers
Delfin on his little table. Judo Suwa sports a shirt with the "MPro Busters" logo on it.
Yakushiji and Nobunaga hook it up again in a nice little segment where Yakushiji gets to
whip out a bunch of his lucha stuff on a guy about as scrawny as he is. Naniwa doesn't
wear his totally hideous outfit for the match, even though Delfin decides to. SASUKE
UN FOULS! Naniwa as he attempts a leap frog. Naniwa hits his rope walk elbow because
he's a technico now. Crazy Max bust out their triple teams on perennial whipping boy
Yakushiji- including doing their version of the Surfer Boy pose where Nobunaga does his
"My pole is this big and all you ladies are welcome to slide down it" dance while on top.
CRAZY MAX tries for one triple team which Yakushiji escapes but the whole thing looks
totally blown. Judo shows he hearts Kaynon. Naniwa shows he watches ECW because he
steals Spike Dudley's Tornado stone cold ace crushin' chart bustin' diamond cuttin' acid
drop. Judo Suwa decides to totally KILL himself by doing a tope where he lands mostly
on his head and neck on the floor. SASUKE hits a Michinoku Driver II on Delfin but
misses his moonsault senton. Delfin hits a bunch of 1/20th as good as Lyger's shotays.
The Techincos hit 4 dives to the floor as Tiger puts away Sasuke the Great with a Tiger
Suplex. It wasn't bad, but it could have been better. It was rough in spots. But given the
fact SASUKE's teaming with 3 guys who have been wrestling all of 2 years and one guy
who has a spotty reputation as a worker (who also apparently gave hair advice to
Nobunaga who's now sporting the white spots in his hair. The Koji Kitao look is not in
this season.) But, Suwa did die for your sins....
SASUKE/ Sasuke the Great vs Shima Nobunaga/ Sumo Fuji:
Well, the rudos decide to get all Smokey Moutain on us as they do a re-enactment of the
Candido/Dark Secret match where Candio finally wins so he doesn't have to wear a baby
bonnet. Eventually Los SASUKES take a count out loss so their buddies get an easy win.
Delfin and company come out for a match but the Rudos come out and jump everyone.
While SASUKE works the mic in the ring, Nobunaga takes a bottle right to the head from
someone in the crowd. SASUKE brings out the Japanese Indies best kept secret, Massaki
Mochizuki leading to a 12 man match....
SASUKE/ Nobunaga/ Fuji/ Suwa/ Sasuke the Great/ Mochizuki vs Delfin/ Tiger Mask IV/
Hamada/ Yakushiji/ Yone Genjin/ Hoshikawa:
This is clipped up a bunch. We get a lot of the standard spots we've been seeing through
out the tournament (the SASUKE's top rope knee drop UN FOUL which looked like it
didn't even come close to hitting). Mochizuki and Hoashikawa do a quick little segment
where they kick each other real hard. There's a lot of things breakin' down in Hokkiado.
Lot of near falls where someone runs in from a million miles away to break up the pin fall.
The end comes when Genjin runs into a Mochizuki ax kick, eats a few palm stikes, a back
kick and Mochizuki's triangle medula kick for the win. Have I mentioned SASUKE's new
mask rules lately? Nobunaga gets points for competing after getting nailed in the head
with a bottle. Welcome to the world of being a super hated rudo, my young friend.
Clips of Hamada/Tiger IV vs Nobunaga/Fuji: SASUKE and company are there to lend
immoral support to their friends. The youngsters try to win, but Nobunaga's CRAZY
Splash finds nothing but knees. Fuji works over Hamada with a chokeslam, but he dives
into a wakigatame and that's all she wrote.
Clips of Hamada/Tiger IV vs SASUKE/Tiger IV: Well, Grandpa didn't get his medication
and he's all pissed off! This ain't pretty as it's a lot of brawling in what they showed, finally
Hamada flips and rips off SASUKE's mask, getting DQed.
Clips of Hoshikawa/Yakushiji vs Yone/Convict : Convict hits a bunch of fat ass flying.
Hoshikawa's shoulders are all taped up. Yakushiji puts away Yone with a diving rana for
the pin.
Clips of Delfin/Naniwa vs Tiger IV/Hamada: They show everyone's stuff going back and
forth. It comes down to Delfin giving IV the swinging DDT into the Delfin clutch when
SASUKE runs in and the rudos beat the crap out of everyone, including Naniwa doing a
stretcher job after a spiked piledriver on the floor. I dunno what the end result is.
Clips of Delfin/Naniwa vs Nobunaga/Fuji: Perhaps this was the purpose of the attack?
Well, it doesn't help them much. Eventhough Crazy Max gets the Pole Slider Pose in,
Delfin arm drags out of the Nodowa setting up the shotay for the pin.
Clips of Los SASUKEs vs Hoshikawa/Yakushiji : Lots of back and forth stuff. SASUKE
gets a smoke in in the middle of the match and does a praying 4 sides of the ring
piledriver. Yakushiji pulls a rana to save himself from getting superbombed. The end
comes when SASUKE accidentally hits Sasuke the Great with his fencing sword and
Hoshikawa Germans him for the pin and thus earn a spot in the finals against Deflin and
Naniwa.
Tournament Final: Super Delfin/ Gran Naniwa vs Masato Yakushiji/ Naohiro Hoshikawa:
It starts out with Naniwa and Hoshikawa taking it to the mat with Naniwa controlling.
Delfin and Yakushiji face off, so CRAZY MAX and Los SASUKE's decide it's a good
time to come out to the warehouse and set up camp. Delfin controls Yakushiji early until
Masato hits a Sattelite Headscissors and his baseball slide into the same on the floor.
Naniwa hooks up with Hoshikawa and shows what those dicks over in New Japan taught
him as he give Naohiro the Ohtani boot scrapes. Delfin comes in and works on
Hoshikawa's bad shoulder as Sasuke enjoys a brew and a cigar while hanging in his Ribera
jacket. Yakushiji regains control for his team. The JYB's do a drop kick into a surfboard
type move on Naniwa. Naniwa pulls out the move he used to win their first match in the
tournament, but Yakushiji makes the save. Delfin with the half hour brainbuster and
Macho Man Elbow for two counts. Delfin hits a plancha to Hoshikawa on the floor while
Naniwa takes a page from Jericho by turning a Yakushiji rana into a half crab and then
into an STF. Hoshikawa saves Yakushiji from the crab boy's Doctor Bomb, but comes up
a little short with his tope. Delfin and Yak mix it up with Peter Pan send him out and
getting in a tope as well. Hoshikawa gets twos with some suplexes. The JYB's get in their
corner charges into the Northern Lights Suplex into the moonsault for two. They hit their
top rope drop kick/German, Delfin makes the save. Hoshikawa hits Naniwa with the top
rope roundhouse kick for two. Delfin gets double teamed, but ends up having Yak drop
kick his own partner into a German for two. Yakushiji nearly gets the win with a flying
rana. He scores a two with a moonsault when Naniwa saves. They tried to set up the
spot where Delfin shotays Yakushiji when he misses a drop kick but it doesn't seem to
come off so well. Delfin with the swinging DDT/Delfin clutch, but Hoshikawa saves his
partner's bacon. Masato ducks a corner shotay into a cradle for two, but runs into another
shotay for an almost 3. Delfin DDT for 2. Delfin pulls out the brainbuster DDT that's the
rage these days for two as Naniwa and Hoshikawa take turns killing each other on the
floor. Delfin works over Yakushiji with back drop suplexes but can't get the 3. He goes
to the shotay one too many times as Yakushiji catches him in another inside cradle to get
the big upset win. Pretty good but it didn't seem like there was all that much heat for the
match. I think the tournament did a good job in getting Yakushiji over a bit more, much
like they've been building up Hoshikawa over the summer.
Post match, Kaientai DX Dos Mil show up and cut a promo. Bascially SASUKE tells
Delfin and Naniwa that not only do they dress funny, but they lost to a guy who dresses
like Mr. B Natural. SASUKE further insults Delfin by doing his mock of the crawl of
shame. And that is all the people need to know.....
#$#$#$#$#$##$# BATTLARTS ON SAMURAI TV - 5/26/97
(byDEAN RASMUSSEN)
This was last yearÕs model when BattlARTS was really starting to come into his own and
before they got all high-concept with the Ishikawa childhood dreamcards, Otsuka the
Actual Shooter and other twists that have filled the cofers these days. Guys kick other
guys in the face really hard, and thatÕs why we stalk the elusive BattlARTS, Little Jakey.
Minoru Tanaka vs. Daisuke Ikeda::
This was REALLY fucking beautiful. Ikeda and super up-and-coming hotshot Tanaka
decide to beat the living POO out of each other. Tanaka does the greatest combination in
the history of stiff Pro-Style wrestling with the spinning kick to the head which he follows
up with a corner Dropkick of Facial-Bone Destroying proportions which Ikeda takes like a
KING. Tanaka is On It here because he eschews the high-flying tendencies that he has
developed and whipped out at length in the last couple of months, as he tries to extend his
reach farther than the ten other guys in BattlARTS and looks to be shooting for New
Japan spot down the line. (John D Williams, condescending bastard and absolutely
coolest muthaFQer on the internet, says that NJ probably wanted Tajiri for the Kendo Ka
Shin gimmick, but I would say that they should have grabbed Tanaka. HeÕs a far more
complete pro wrestler than Ishizawa OR Tajiri will ever be. And I really think Tajiri
rules.) This match is more like what drew one to Minoru Tanaka to begin with- the same
thing that makes Takeshi Ono so cool- the spectre of a little guy in pro wrestling who isnÕt
a highflyer but who is more like those wiry redneck bastards in your homeroom that you
hung out with- the oneÕs who could beat the shit out of ANYONE because they were
scrawny little redneck bastards. I could never explain it. ItÕs the same concept. Ikeda is
the Super Mauler Who Wrestles Like Johnny Saint When He Wants To and he and
Tanaka start deep on the mat as they ride each other trying to position themselves into a
submission. After trading submissions they go into a Striking and Suplexing the Living
Crap out of each other. The suplexes arenÕt All Japan dangerous but the faster, more
UWFi low impact and thus more shoot-looking. Tanaka hits the combo of TRUE
hurtiness and Ikeda takes the eight count, takes a Released German, escapes an ankle
lock, takes some shots to the head and latches on a Kneebarand we have the pseudoshoot
ending! WOO-HOO! One of the cooler seven minute matches IÕve seen.
Shoichi Funaki vs Alexander Otsuka:
In case youÕve forgotten, Shoichi Funaki used to be in Japan where he would wrestle like
a WILDMAN and win a match and it would be long and competitive and cool and good
and not retarded and would be pro wrestling and not sports entertainment. Here heÕs in
with the bizarro shootboy Otsuka- who I always had pegged as a guy pretending to be a
shooter but was neato in the Pro Style applications of alot of shootstyle moves. And then
he beats the shit out of Marco Ruas just to make me look like even more of an idiot. This
is pretty classicly WEIRD BattlARTS- The ending is: Otsuka with a Judo throw into a
CrossArmbreaker; ropebreak; Funaki with TOTALLY Spine-fusing Released German
Suplex; Otsuka with a lowgrade German Suplex; Single leg Takedown into Giant Swing;
Funaki with a lucha roll-up countering out of an Otsuka German attempt into an ankle
lock for the submission. FREAK OUT!!!
Katsumi Usuda vs. Takeshi Ono:
Katsumi is NOW one of my faves in BattlARTS. He kicks REALLY hard. REAL hard. I
REALLY wanna see his match against Ikeda on the Ishikawa Childhood Dreamcard.
Here he takes it to the mat with Takeshi Ono, who has supplied some the coolest
ass-kickings in the recent years. The cool thing about this is that I saw this shoot
interview with Steven Regal from 1994 and a ECW-addled guy was saying that armbars
are boring compared to moonsaults and going through tables (which it is, if youÕve ever
seen Davey Boy Smith do an armbar). Regal said, ŅWell, itÕs all in how you do the
armbar.Ó This kind of match is what he was talking about. These two take it to the mat
and the workrate is as frenetic as the most caffeine-soaked AAA youngster spotfest youÕll
ever see- the difference is that they punch the fudge out of each other NONSTOP the
whole time. The fact that you canÕt take your eyes off the prickishness is the difference
between this and your basic Great Muta head scissors. They go into as extended
ankle-crimping sequence which they BREAK IT DOWN to a bunch kicks to the head and
thigh to set up another round of submissions with Usuda finally taking OnoÕs leg out to
the point that he ripe for the chokeout. Usuda was still formative here but Ono is ever the
entertaining little shoot guy.
Yuki Ishikawa/ Naohiro Hoshikawa vs Victor Krueger/ Rambo:
If I want to watch a couple of roided out American bozos no-sell to couple of Japanese
Juniors, IÕll watch Nitro or New Japan. Hoshikawa does kick Kreuger right in the head a
whole lot and that makes up for excesses that Kreuger and Rambo go to achieve their
half-assed monster gimmick. Not as horrible as it could have been, but I didnÕt pay to see
this crap.
Takeshi Ono vs. Hidaka:
Hidaka is quite the new breed of BattlARTS guy (along with little flying shootstyle
compatriots Fujita, Honma, and the ever-cultish Mach Junji)- what with his high-flying and
lucha based stuff that only hints at the shootstyle base that BattlARTS draws from. With
the number three guy in the promotion, Minoru Tanaka, going into big forays of
high-flying in his matches these days, Hidaka seems to have jumped on a new wave for the
promotion thatÕs rolling into the shore. This is last year though and Takeshi Ono beats the
living hell out of him here. Hidaka hints at the lengthy exercises in the Shootstyle/flying
Combo Style to come by whipping out the super cool Hurricanrana-Into-A-Kneebar.
WHIP ASS! Ono kicks the hell out of the little guy and strangles him to death in an
Octupus Hold.
Katsumi Usuda/ Alexander Otsuka vs. Victor Krueger/ Rambo:
Krueger is credible on the mat. HeÕs actually like a talented version of Bryan Adams. The
story of the match was that Kreuger and Rambo were really really big and strong. If I
wanted to see that then I would have watched reruns of Bill Kazmier on ESPN2. Not
stomach-churning but not worth watching at normal speed.
Shoichi Funaki vs. Minoru Tanaka
Shoichi FunakiÕs eternal problem when he was in BattlARTS and I think the main reason
he was so much more at home in Michinoku Pro was the fact that he canÕt strike for beans
and when in with the Gargantuan Ass-stomper that Tanaka can transform himself into,
Funaki holds back the match because they canÕt have big sequences of these two beating
the hell out of each other- so a dimension is missing. This all builds from the mat at first
and never gets to build out of take-downs during the striking section because HEY! there
isnÕt one. Funaki sticks a lot of pro-style stuff to compensate so the problem is that
BattlARTS only works when the pro-style sections are luxuries that the BattlARTS
contestants throw into the match to enrich the wrestling tapestry they are weaving. You
can smell the desperation as Funaki canÕt match the call to arms as Tanaka starts suplexing
the hell out of him and thus Funaki goes for a myriad of Dragonscrews to set up the finish
of the best young shootstyle guy in the promotion submitting to FunakiÕs Figure Four.
There you have it. From a style-blind perspective this was perfectly fine pro wrestling.
From a BattlARTS freak perspective, this was a lot less than it should have been.
Yuki Ishikawa vs. Daisuke Ikeda
This is really beautiful psychology. The match starts with Ikeda showing that he is totally
outmatched on the mat as Ishikawa works on his knee with a wad of leg submissions to
keep Ikeda from his deadly striking and diminish his striking when he does finally get to
his feet. Ikeda slowly kicks his way off the mat and gains the advantage as he gets his
strikes in on Yuki, his Superior On The Mat. There are a lot of subtly GREAT things in
this. The broad picture is that Ishikawa is outclassed on the mat but has enough mat moxy
to take advantage of getting Ishikawa on the mat when possible after striking sets it up.
Ishikawa is effective at striking when he has to use it to set up getting Ikeda back on the
mat- so there is dissonance in their styles, but the overlap is also great. The little things
are like when Ishikawa gets on the mat and starts striking with the SWANK slug to the
face while applying the kneebar. As soon as Ishikawa has to break a submission, Ikeda
begins kicking his ass all over the ring until the eight count and then Ishikawa will hit a fat
ass suplex or takedown to get him back down. The striking sections are just fucking
PRIMITIVE as they just punch each other right in the face to set up assorted takedowns
and what have you. Something gets weird 2/3rds of the way through- Ikeda hits a big spin
kick to the head and hits a Urange and is about to polish off Ishikawa and Ishikawa gets in
a last-gasp desperation knee-bar and IÕm figuring Ikeda is gonna hit the ropes and go
ahead and finish this baby, but then I have...ONE... singular sensation as Ishikawa goes for
the Figure Four and Ikeda sells it for a LONG time before getting the ropes. They
basically start all over again with Ikeda beating IshikawaÕs head in from the mount
position as Ishikawa is on his back . Sue me. Sue me. Shoot arrows through me, I have
a feeling that something is veering off course as they continue to exchange lengthy
submissions and are too tired to strike effectively for awhile. Ikeda has a late rally and
really starts kicking Ishikawa in the face and gets in a Released Dragon Suplex and goes to
finish him off with a Ray Guy-esque punt to the noggin when Ishikawa Dragonscrews him
into a Kneebar and words echo through my head, ŅTry to remember the kind of
September when....Ó* but Ikeda gets to the ropes and gets a takedown. He gets on a clean
Key Lock and Ishikawa LOCKS his hand to block! The bell rings! OKLAHOMA!
WHERE THE WIND GOES RUSHING DOWN THE PLAINS! GET ALOT OF THIS!
Lean on the fast forward for a lot of the non-great parts of the Main Event. The cool stuff
will pop out at you, trust me.
@#@#@#@#@# LLPW LIVE BATTLE '97 (2/11/97)
(byPHIL RIPPA)
Come straight at you from Korakuen Hall it is the Lovely Ladies of
Professional Wrestling. Woo-Hoo!!!
Mizuki Endo vs. Miho Watabe
Aahh, dear sweet small Miho Watabe. I have pants that are bigger than her. Still she is
out there trying to rock like a hurricane. I guess it is the whole Ņshe tries hardÓ theory.
Meanwhile, you have to respect someone like Endo who is willing to go out in public with
a haircut that bad. Go figure. The match is basically what it should be. That would be
Watabe being punted around the ring, with very little offense to speak of and the offense
that she mustered isn't really damaging. But consider the size difference between these
two, it is the right thing to do. The thing that you definitely want to watch is the great
camera work as Endo does the foot scrap. The camera gets to within about 4 millimeters
of Watabe's face. Cool. Watabe gets a wave of hit-and-run offense near the end to just let
her save some face but eventually Endo drops her on her head with the Backdrop Driver
and that is all she wrote.
Michiko Omukai vs Keiko Aono:
I still chuckle to myself about Aono. Dean, when giving me a quick rundown of who
everyone was, said that Aono wore a whole lotta Paisley. He wasn't lying. Right there on
your television screen. Nothing but green Paisley. Meanwhile, Omukai is another reason
why my girlfriend is going to prevent me from watching wrestling as I sit drooling at the
simple exquiste Michiko Omukai. Being completely distracted, I fail to note anything of
worth in the match expect Omukai pinning Aono in such a way that I need a little quiet
time.
Yasha Kurenai vs. Carol Midori vs. Mikiko Futagami
The sometime tag partners collide in a triangle match with rules that I still am trying to
figure out. Basically, it wasn't single elimination and there were only two wrestlers in the
ring at any one time. The third would wait outside for the end of the fall. It was almost
like a round robin type system but they didn't carry it all the way through. Oh well.
Kurenai wins the raffle and starts the match on the outside but she gets involved quickly as
Midori rolls up Futagami in 30 seconds. Midori, being the best wrestler of the bunch,
whips out all sorts of neat stuff against Kurenai. First would be the splash off the top rope
to the floor. Then there was the top rope hurricanrana. She finishes it all off with a
missile dropkick. What does she get for her display? Well, she misses a splash and
Kurenai rolls her up to hand her a loss. Kurenai and Futagami are next one the agenda
and the wrestling is quickly forgotten, which is not surprising considering Futagami really
doesn't do much of it but since she is easy on the eyes, I am not going to complain. The
two do their homage to New Japan Heavyweights as they trade running into each other
for no real reason. They then wander around a little bit and my eyes start to glaze over
when what should happen but Kurenai gets absolutely DESTROYED as she takes a hot
shot into an exposed turnbuckle. From here on out, it is nothing but brawling. Chairs,
chairs and more chairs. Oh there was the part where Futagami introduces Kurenai into a
sign somewhere out in the crowd. Then she snatches up her ever present stick and goes to
work. So the rest of the time, they trade stick shots. Weak ones at that. Can't have
everything can you? Futagami breaks off a backdrop driver and then nails a guillotine leg
drop to eliminate Kurenai. Midori races in to take on Futagami again and it is back to the
brawling. Eventually, Midori whips Futagami into about seven rows of chairs. This is
when Futagami either does an amazing job of selling or really fucks up her back because
she, and I am not kidding you when I tell you this, starts crying. Right there on the floor.
Just like our pal Ice Train. Midori seems to ease up on her slightly but a couple of jumps
on the back has me thinking otherwise. The finishing sequence starts as Futagami misses a
leg drop and gets hit with a Back Suplex. Midori rolls her up but Futagami keeps her
momentum going, ends up on top and gets the win. The bizarre rules made the match
confusing plus since the wrestling went on hiatus it made it tough to watch. It did have its
moments. Recommended for the adventurous viewer.
Shinobu Kandori/ Rumi Kazama/ Harley Saito/ Noriyo Tateno vs. Eagle Sawai/ Lioness
Asuka/ Michiko Nagashima/ Sayori Okino:
This is an elimination match that is incredible wild and action packed, not really a great
match but definitely entertaining. Everybody brings their game except Eagle Sawai and
Sayori Okino. Sawai because she is a big, big piece of shit and Okino because she gets
eliminated 10 seconds into the match by Kandori. Kandori then gets bumrushed by her
other three opponents and it pretty much is non stop action. Harley Saito continues to
win me over as she just kicks the crap out of everyone. Nagashima, making her first
appearance on my television screen, decides to return the favor in vicious style. Sweet,
sweet ass kicking. Kazama blatantly steals from Kawada as she steals his short kicks to
the face. Hey, if you are going to copy there are worse people to do it from. Okino makes
a quick reappearance to save Asuka from getting eliminated. It turns out that she was just
prolonging the inevitable as Kazama just levels Asuka with a reverse kick to the back of
the head. Kazama gets no time to celebrate the elimination however as Nagashima
charges in and introduces her foot to the inside of Kazama's face. Then just to inflict a
little more pain, she gives her a wicked Tiger Bomb on a chair. Saito then gets the beat
down thrown on her. She takes a piledriver onto the floor then gets utterly flattened
against one of them unbreakable Japanese tables by Asuka. That spot is one that you will
rewind about 19 times. The heels then even the playing field as Nagashima gives Tateno
two Tiger Bombs onto the chair to eliminate her. Saito gets handcuffed to the corner so
everyone can work over Kandori. This leads to the great visual of wrestling in the ring
and then all the eliminated girls fighting on the outside as they try to free Saito. Kandori
can't fight off the attack of three women as she gets stuff powerbombed. This elimination
surprises me but- hey!- it's Saito's coming out party. She gets free of the handcuffs only to
start getting worked over by Sawai and Nagashima. Of course, this means mostly
Nagashima beating up Saito while Sawai lumbers around. Nagashima accidentally hits
Sawai with a missile dropkick, which lets Saito eliminate Nagashima as she whips out a La
Magistral. Hey look, Eagle Sawai still hasn't done anything in the match. What a surprise.
I shit you not. She hits three Sid level powerbomb and then flops down to the mat a lot.
Kandori grows impatient, runs in and clubs Sawai with a chain and Saito gets the win for
her team. Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!
&*&*&*&*&*& BIG JAPAN- KING OF THE DEATH MATCHES TOURNAMENT-
6/8/98, 7/26/98, 8/9/98.
(byPHIL SCHNEIDER)
Mitsiharu Matsunaga vs Jason the Terrible- Barbed Wire Baseball Bat and Barbedwire
Board Match(6/8/98):
Matsunaga is sort of like the Frank Zappa of Japanese Garbage wrestling. His only
construct is innovation, he must break new ground and try new things no matter what.
Sometimes it will be good; often it will suck, but it will always be different. You can just
tell he is the mastermind behind all the high concept Big Japan death matches (Piranha,
Alligator, Circus, Bug Zapper ect.) because he gets all high concept even in your meat and
potatoes death match like this one. This match was really clipped, which was a shame, I
like Jason; he is one of the best actual wrestlers hanging around the seedy underbelly of
Japanese wrestling, although he didn't do much in this match. Matsunaga busted out the
barbed wire board sandwich with a moonsault garnish, and won the match with a
barbedwire baseball bat camel clutch, which wasn't that cool- but was unusual.
Mr. Pogo vs Kung Fu Lee- Barbed Wire Baseball Bat and Barbedwire Board
Match (6/8/98):
Kung Fu Lee is the horrific Great Kojika in a gi. This match was mercifully clipped and
was basically a obese elderly man stabbing a gaunt elderly man in the back with a knife.
Pogo wins by choking Kojika with a chain. I hate both of these guys a lot.
Shadow WX vs Tomoaki Honma- Barbed Wire Baseball Bat and Barbedwire
Board Match (7/26/98):
This ruled it pretty hard. Definitely the best post Yamakawa BJW death match, and in the
top five non Tajiri matches in the history of the league. Honma, who has already proven
he can hang with the Battlearts boys on the mat, and fly with Tajiri, out-garbages full time
garbage boy WX. Lots of big bumps in this one, Honma hits an enziguri on WX which
sends him off a platform through a barbedwire board. Honma does a huge blade job, and
he gets powerbombed off that platform through a barbedwire board. WX wraps a string
of wire around Honma's head, which Honma uses to give a diving barbedwire headbutt.
WX doesn't do much but he doesn't screw anything up either. Honma busts out some nice
kicks and a sweet German suplex to complete the coolness. WX wins which kind of
sucked and they do the lame Big Japan death match staple, where the two guys grab each
other by the hair and walk around the arena, it looks like they are doing a little dance, they
do it in every match, and it really blows. Besides that little part this match rocked and was
definitely the best on the tape.
Shadow Winger vs Shoji Nakamaki- Barbed Wire Baseball Bat and Barbedwire Board
Match (7/26/98):
Shoji mails this baby in, as him and Winger try a bunch of wrestling, and if there is one
thing you never want it is Shoji Nakamaki taking it to the mat. One good bump as
Nakamaki is German Suplexed through the barbed wire board. Winger wins with an STF
in about 6 minutes. Not worth the tape it was filmed on.
Shadow WX vs Mr. Pogo- No Ropes Barbed Wire Match (7/26/98):
Basically just an excuse for Pogo to rummage through his kitchen drawer, as he spends
the match cutting up WX with knives, drills, swords and a huge electric cutting knife. Not
very interesting or fun to watch. One cool bump as WX gets whipped into the barbed
wire really hard and goes flying to the floor, which sends the top strand of barbedwire
whipping into the audience, jabbing a bunch of sleazy Yakuza hangers-on. Besides that
this was FF material.
Mitsiharu Matsunaga vs Shadow Winger- No Ropes Barbed Wire Match (7/26/98):
I dug this match. It wasn't as good as WX vs Honma, but it definitely had it's moments.
Matsunaga was all weird in this one, running chest first into the barberwire to use it to
assist as splash, giving Winger a barbedwire crossface, and getting suplexed from the floor
into the barbedwire. They had an extended hair pulling arena tour section, with a Nasty
Boys v. Harlem Heat Uncensored Ō95esque concession stand brawl. Winger broke out an
insane tope-con-hilo over the barbedwire, nearly castrating himself. Matsunga won the
match after a trio of pyramid powerbombs on a pile of barbedwire and a German Suplex
on the barbed wire. The good was pretty good and the bad was pretty bad.
Mitsiharu Matsunaga vs Mr. Pogo- Burning Trailer glass barbed wire match (8/9/98):
This was a fire match with glass windowpane and a casket in the middle. Not bad, with
some good fire bumps, and a legitimately insane face-first bump into the glass
windowpane by Mitsiharu. Matsunaga innovates by lighting his ankle pad on fire and
kicking Pogo with it. Pogo lit his scythe on fire and popped Matsunaga with it. It is hard
to really appreciate a fire match after watching the fire match in W*ING. You are just
sitting there watching Pogo get his head pushed into a flame, and your thinking "Big
fucking deal- it isn't like he is burning all the skin on his back off.Ó The end was kind of
cool as Pogo puts Matsunaga in the casket and set it on fire, which would have been really
stupid in a Kane match, but was kind of cool in Big Japan, because there isn't any pussy
trapdoor- Matsunaga is really burning up. Kind of long but with some cool stuff.
This tape was pretty good for Big Japan, since Yamakawa has become the Japanese
Scotty Riggs, Big Japan's death match have sucked ass. There was two and half good
matches on this tape which ain't bad at all, although the pretty good undercard wrestling
matches were missing.
#$#$#$#$#$#$ Jd' #31- 11/20/98 (taped 8/24/98 from Kitazawa Town Hall)
(byDEAN RASMUSSEN)
HIYA! JdÕ! DIGGIT! This is their Display of Youngster Talent and itÕs pretty good
considering how much all of these young ladies looked totally lost a mere year ago.
Obacchi vs Fujiwara:
Obacchi Iizuka. ItÕs official. SHE RULES. Well, she rules in a spunky JdÕ rookie kinda
way. The whole Crazed Green-grocer gimmick works well with her budding Ito-esque
offense for whatever reason. Fujiwara gets in the most offense with her rookie high-flying
and sheÕs quite competent. Obacchi finally goes Flying Body Tackle And In Ring Flying
Tope CRAZY as she freaks out to the finish with her super spunky low altitude
high-impact attack. She puts away the comely young Fujiwara with a second rope
springboard Senton and it was downright A-OKAY! A new JdÕ star is rising. Her green
grocer foreign object was a bag of flour and it was all REALLY adorable. And thatÕs
GOOD. A bunch of stars and planets for this one. Plus the Stockard Channing In
ŅGreaseÓ hairstyle is to DIE FOR. Add that to her Blue Collar Gal persona and you have
a... Golly!... IÕm not sure WHAT we have with Obacchi- is there a precedent for the Blue
Collar Joe in Japanese WomenÕs Wrestling? Either way, IÕm all for it.
Fang Suzuki vs Hechisera:
Fang is really horrible. She really cheats a lot. She does a lot of chokeslams that suck.
Hechisera does a cool Cartwheel Roll-up that Iishi in GAEA did once. Hey! You gotta
ŅJdÕ Lean On The Fast ForwardÓ Special RIGHT THERE! AWRIGHT!
Yabushita vs Yuki Li:
Judo Girl (the lesser- compared to the spunkier Sakai) Yabushita takes on the Middle Of
All WomenÕs Wrestlers Yuki Li. Yuki is actually better in this match- being a poormanÕs
Lioness putting a lot of lowgrade kicks and powermoves to set up YabushitaÕs Judo stuff,
which is all pretty cool for a limited wrestler like Yuki. Yabushita hasnÕt advanced as
quickly as Sakai who has developed quite the arsenal of high-flying moves and MUCH
better suplexes. This is quite acceptable wrestling. And IÕm VERY glad that they edited
this down from the twenty minute version.
Kosugi/Abe vs Toyoda/Wakizawa:
Kosugi and Abe blow a lot of stuff in this baby, but Kosugi isnÕt afraid to whip out the
toprope Springboard Rana and IÕm all over it. Wakizawa has actually progressed the most
of anyone on this tape because she looked hopeless for a LONG time but I see that Jaguar
has finally driven her wrestling lessons home because sheÕs to the point that you donÕt
notice her- which is MUCH better than before when all you could do is notice her blowing
everything. Next step: Minky Goodness. Kosugi is starting to get all Vixenlike on us and
IÕm digging it. She has that smirk that says SUGAR when she goes for a submission. Her
highflying is only as good as her partner and her opponent allows but she gets about as
much as she can out of both to make this a sloppy but quite watchable affair. Not good
but very not bad.
Bloody vs Sumie Sakai:
(Before you EVER rave about a JdÕ youngster, be sure you know her first name. If you
ever need to steal information about JdÕ, ALWAYS go to LoreficeÕs QUEBRADA page
that Peter Ransom runs. QUEBRADABOY was not afraid to do THIRTY PAGES on JdÕ
in a Quebrada. What a fucking MAN. Thus, stealing information was quite easy pickins!
ALLRIGHT!) GAEA TranslatorBOY and SCOOPSÕ Saving Grace- Steve- said that this
match was to keep an eye out for and he REALLY wasnÕt kidding. Sakai went from Legit
Judo Background, ŅProbably WAY Too Old To Be Starting At Age 26Ó Longshot Project
to really good pro wrestler in less than one year. This match is great because you can see
EXACTLY where it draws from- the SWANK Jaguar Yokota/ Lioness Aska matches that
first transformed JdÕ from basically Memphis Power Pro Wrestling of Japan into
something to get all torqued about when Glenn says itÕs on the next tape heÕs mailing. It
runs along the same lines with Sakai assuming a junior Jaguar role and Bloody assuming
the junior Lioness role. It even gets down to the Jaguar trainees and the Lioness trainees
running in as much as possible just like the Lioness and Jaguar stables will do in the Big
Gals matches- except here the rookies are all CHIPPER and full of GLEE- which is just
great. Bloody cheats a bunch and her stable of Bad Girls (WHIP ASS!) keep Bloody in
control early as she wears Sakai down until the first highspot is set-up- as Sakai takes a
big bump and Bloody hits a neato sideways tope. This leads to a real cool section where
they trade roll-ups and then take turns hitting a submission and then go back to a series of
nearfalls and then back to deulling submissions attempts. They take that to the Lioness
styled chair and table spots- though they are not as elaborate as LionessÕs- as Bloody hits
a toprope Senton onto Sakai who is prone on a table- as opposed to a Powerbomb of the
table through another table or any other myriad of variations that were exhausted in the
Jaguar/ Lioness feud. Sakai gets on her final offensive sequence with Lioness trainee
hitting Bloody accidentally which leads to a bunch of super SWANK suplexes, including
the BloodyÕs nasty looking released German after Sakai catches a bunch of boot at the end
of a Moonsault attempt. Sakai finally gets Bloody positioned for her toprope
Frankensteiner for the pin and JdÕ Cruiserweight title (or something). This was a
REALLY cool match because it was well-paced and it still packed a BUNCH of good
spots in it. There were a couple of keys that made it really good- the nearfalls were set up
by cool mid-grade suplexes and lucha roll-ups so it wasnÕt like they were kicking out of a
bunch of finishers (plus they had the outside saves that didnÕt get repetitive to the point of
irritation), the transitions were strong and didnÕt screw up the psychology as the
comebacks were logical and kept with the selling of the move before, and everything
BUILT really well- so this was more than just the spots. This was beyond what even any
of my beloved GAEA youngsters were capable of at this stage of their developement
(though they were a lot younger, if that makes any difference). GET ALL OF THIS.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
&&&&& when youÕre dreaming does your lover have my faceSINGLES
GOING STEADY! %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
%%%%%%%%%%% Yumiko Hotta (AJW) vs Angel Amrossa: LLPW 1998 L-1
Shootfight Tournament : (REV RAY!)- I ended up watching this at Pogo Pete Stein's
house. Pete can read some Japanese and he pointed out that Angel was the same Angel
who managed in ECW. Angel's past includes getting beat up in ECW, having a piece of
metal barb lodged in her forehead during one of Ian Rotten's death matches (I think
against Abuddah Signh) in the NWA and also for doing some bondage video. She goes
from that background to the octagon against one of the women who if Ernest Miller's
kicks were anything like her's, the phrase "Miller kicks like a girl" wouldn't be an insult.
Angel throws one punch and Hotta locks her up and takes her down. Hotta mounts her,
throws one or two punches as Angel tries to cover up. Hotta then PLAYS TO THE
CROWD. In a shootfight... well, at least that's what they were calling them. This will
give you a gauge of Angel's shootin' skill. The remainer of this match, all 1 minute 9
seconds of it is Hotta trying to figure out how to hook one of Angel's arms for the cross
armbreaker. The most damage suffered by Hotta is probably when she leaned her face
against the cage while trying to leverage the arm when moving in the kill. Hotta wins and
Angel considers moving into the porn industry.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Fit Finlay vs. LORENZO: THE RIPPER-WCW TV: 3/98- There once
was this mythical match that occurred on Saturday Night between Ice Train and Chris
Benoit. That match was much sought after by many who wanted to see sheer carnage.
That took place in 1997. The 1998 version is this match. Dean was the only one of us
who had witness that carnage that Sir Fit Finlay unleashed on the poor unsuspecting
Power Plant graduate known as LORENZO. I have been searching all these WCW tapes
for this one match so Phil and I could see. Finally, the mystery around the match is over.
I have witnessed it with my own eyes. And golly gee was it worth it. Let me first tell you
that LORENZO is a roided freak who looks exactly like Paul Orndorff (well at least in the
face). Anyhoo, Tenay and Hudson foreshadow the match by saying that Finlay is upset
with his standing in the federation and it going to make an example out of LORENZO.
Hudson comes up with some great line about asking for Finlay to show mercy or
something. Okay we all now that Finlay is going to work stiff as a mother. That is not
surprising. But every once and a while his fury comes out. Ask Scott Putski. Ask Barry
Houston. Make sure you ask LORENZO. The match starts off innocently enough as
Finlay just applies a nerve hold. A whip to the rope and LORENZO blows a leapfrog,
landing right on top of Finlay's head. The collective "OH FUCK" can be felt through the
crowd and I am just thinking "Here we go". Straight rights to the face is what starts the
party. Then there are some chops peppered in with three kicks to the back that are
absolutely sickening. See- thanks to Finlay, LORENZO can now make his pecs dance.
Amidst the violence, Finlay hits LORENZO with the biggest, baddest, hardest clothesline
that I ever seen. Right in the chin. He hit him so hard the Nick Patrick winced.
LORENZO was looking for teeth. Crawling around the ring looking for teeth. Right on
my television screen. Man o man, it goes on like this for about six minutes. Finlay drops
a elbow right in the throat. Every slam has some added kick to it. The best is that
LORENZO gets in some Renegade level offense (we are talking a slam and punch and a
goofy splash in the corner) which leads Finlay to bury his head into LORENZO's sternum
on the rolling slam. Then there is the tombstone. I'm sure that LORENZO is a couple of
inches shorter now thanks to having his head stuffed into the mat. That's all she wrote.
LORENZO dead right there. I am still trying to figure out what LORENZO did to piss
Finlay off. Did he steal something? Did he have an affair with his wife? Did he look at
him funny? Who cares? This baby gets runner-up status in Match Of The Year
consideration. That would be right behind Raven/Benoit. Woo-Hoo!!! More death and
destruction.
############ Svetlana Goundarenko (Russian Judo) vs Shinobu Kandori (LLPW)-
LLPW L-1 Tournament: (REV RAY!)- Goundarenko is big.... so big I wasn't sure if the
Hyundai logo on her gi was her sponsor or her manufacturer. At 330 pounds, this is one
person who's never said no to the question "You want gravy with that?" She makes
Kandori, who I've sometimes referred to as "Mandori"- look petite. Svetlana chases
Kandori around the octagon a whole bunch. Kandori escapes a headlock take down and
then they throw a bunch of not very inspired punches and kicks at one another. Svetlana
gets in the first throw and mounts Kandori, but can't seem to get a hold on, so Kandori
escapes. Kandori gets the next take down and works towards a hold. Svetlana tries to
Fireman's Carry her over, but Kandori looks on a front choke for the win at 4:08.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Los Insectivores vs Imposter Psicosis possibly/ Abismo Negro or
something/ Fuck, I donÕt know. AAA or PAPSA: (RASMUSSEN!)- I remember when I
first figured out that I was unhip. I was in a band (that actually toured and put out cdÕs)
and they were all a couple of years younger than me and they really got into the music of
the band Pavement. That was cool because a guy I went to artschool with and with whom
I used to drink endless bottles of Old Crow plays drums for them and all and he was in a
really cool band in Richmond back in the day and heÕs a True King of Men. But the music
sucked I thought and the songwriting was swarmy, off-hand, and that irritating brand of
IRONIC that I hate so I didnÕt dig it. Then these other bands came along that they were
into of the same ilk and I started getting into the Verlaines and the Bats and the Loud
Family which are all made up of guys as old or older than I was and am. These bands
arenÕt hip but they spoke to me more and I settled into an older married guy groove, quit
that band and eventually joined the band IÕm in now which is a bunch of guys my age or
older who rock without irony- which is all I want. This match made me feel like I was
listening to that Pavement cd all over again. I used to ALWAYS be up on the super
goofball youngster freak-out groups but this one is lost on me. They pile up the technicos,
beat them with oversized fly-swatters and try to put them in bags. AAA has reached a
point with their preposterously elaborate outfits that itÕs becoming New Japan versus
WAR again- except with the NJ you couldnÕt tell any of the old guys in black tights apart
and here you canÕt tell any of the guys with the two foot high masks apart. IÕm old. To
hell with this crap. Gimme CMLL. Gimme Roxy Music. YOU KIDS GET OFF MY
LAWN!
NEXT WEEK: Everything that we didnÕt review this week! KOBASHI vs MISAWA!
METRIC TONS OF NEW JAPAN! AJW ATHENA! VADER AND HANSEN IN
JAPAN! POSSIBLY A NAIMARK SPOTTING! WOO-HOO!
Death Valley Playboys.
I believed in the Cupid- I thought of kissing you for all of my life- I guess IÕm just a little
stupid- I think itÕs time I went back Rome.
-Frank Black.
*I realize that ŅThe FantastixÓ was Off-Broadway but itÕs MY cretinous elaborate obscure
joke, so give a brother a break. Thank you. YES. I FINALLY get to use all those
showtunes I learned in swing choir in High School. It shant happen again.
