HAYABUSA! and MR GANNOSUKE! bust each other up real bad. YOSHIDA! is mean to YUMI FUKAWA! MIMA SHIMODA! shows TAMURA! the meaning of ULTRAVIXEN. All that, some other stuff, and a bunch of year-end weepy reminiscing!
ALOHA~!
WELCOME TO THE DEATH VALLEY DRIVER VIDEO REVIEW #87!
This is our Welcome To 1999/ So Long 1998 Super BONANZA as we will pepper this momma with our views as to who you should look out for in 1999 and we'll throw in other oddities as we look wistfully back and STEEL our eyes to gaze into the maw of the future. It was also a big week for wrestling tape veiwing. Lorefice- aside from writing the tres swank QUEBRADA- fearlessly sent the Playboys TEN six-hour tapes chockfull of total goodness, so we here are still attempting to disperse the beauty while still catching up on the FANTABULOUSNESS of the latest Glenn tape. I taking a swing at the Minnesota Indie stuff that Tracy sent. Welcome to Actual Wrestling Viewing Heaven. GIVE IT UP FOR THE REVEREND!
!@!@!@!@!@!@ FRONTIER MARTIAL-ARTS WRESTLING 6/5/91 - Osaka Park
(byREV.RAY)
Hey, it's FMW in the olden days. They haven't come up with their lightning logo yet and they had more than 3 women in their division. Who knew! In the early days, FMW did the nice thing of listing everyone who appeared on the card in English at the end of the show. The problem is that the tape cuts out after 5 names, most of which I knew already.
Match #1 : Women's tag match : Guess what, I can't name half the roster for 1991 All Japan Women's wrestling and they got tons of press on RSPW for years. One vagely looks like Rie Nakamura on one side and the otherside have have had Yuki Nabeno, who I'm guessing at since she's the only other FMW girl I'm not familar with and she tagged with Kudo on a AJW show once. The match isn't terrible, but it's really nothing to write home about either. The person who might be Nabeno's partner, who wears a black outfit, wins with a bulldog on the person who maybe Nakamura.
Match #2 : Kickboxer vs wrestler : Ueda vs Really thin guy in green tights : Ueda beats this guy up a whole bunch and wins via knock out in two rounds.
Vic Quinones pulls up in a van with his band of baddies.
Match #3 : Guy in black Mask with "Number 1" on his tights vs Tall tan guy in a red mask and black tights : The tall guy maybe Big Titan, but I'm not sure.. Red mask controls early, takes it to the the crowd, throws Number 1 into the seats. Black mask gets in control with some kicks until Red Mask UN FOUL!s him. Red Mask comes back with a german for a two, he goes up top and Red Masks superplexes him for the two.
Ultraman vs Pandita:
Ultra I'm pretty sure is Damian 666. Pandita strikes a blow for endangered species everywhere by jumping at the well, only to get knocked outside and hit with a tope. Ultra gets in some armdrags, but Pandita comes back and starts pulling off Ultra's mask when he gets him in the dreaded Panda Clutch. This gets real sloppy. If you're going to do something as goofy as wear a panda suit, the least you can do is rule.... Pandita... does not rule. This is sloppy, goofy and not stiff. Let's call the whole thing off.
Combat Toyota/ Crusher Maedomari/ Shark Tsuchiya vs Megumi Kudo/maybe Miwa Sato/ Even yet still another FMW woman I don't know :
Looks like a street fight elimination tag match (everyone's in jeans and t-shirt, so it's either a street fight or casual day at the FMW offices) : Well, at least I know who one of the teams are. Unfortunately, there are times I wish I didn't know who Shark or Crusher were. The good news is that she's not acting like Mrs. Pogo, so she's only bad, not dispicable. The wrestler who maybe Sato (whoever she was, she was wrestling with two braided pony tails) gets in some meger flying offense before Combat eliminates her with a slam and a drop kick. The baddies work over Kudo a bit, with a few exchanges, Crusher hits a choke shove (it was supposed to be a slam but it had no height), she goes for another one and Kudo takes her out with a wakigatame. Kudo's partner gets stunned with a chair to the head out of the floor, so Combat and Shark double up on Kudo in the ring a bit, tie her in the ropes, then spike piledriver her partner on the floor on a chair. Combat uses her jacket to choke Kudo. Shark hits a side slam and a giant swing. Combat hits a argentine back breaker into an airplane spin. She goes to whip Kudo with some sort of belt or collar. Kudo gets the belt and starts whipping Combat with it. I'm sure there's some guys in the states who'd pay money to see that. Combat wins the match with a powerslam. I guess the other partner was counted out.
Horace Boulder /The Gladiator vs Sambo Asako/ Ricky Fuji:
Hey, Horace has all his hair and a mustache, so he sort of looks like a thin Jake Roberts. Of course he sounds like a redneck. Horace and Gladiator jump at the bell, Ricky Fuji does a quick blade job thanks to a few chairs to the head. Sambo Asako is a fat guy... I guess he's what Judo Suwa would be if he ate Sumo Fuji and Shima Nobunaga. He hits an OK leg lariat though. Both Boulder and Gladiator beat on him a bit. Gladiator hits an Awesome bomb, but Fuji makes the save. Ricky comes in and gets a bunch of offense in until he gets UN FOULED by Gladiator. Ricky fights back a bit, Sambo goes up top and hits Gladiator in the stomach with a drop kick from the top rope (if he did this on the mat, I'm sure he would ahve gotten as high as Mike's ankle...) Fuji hits a top rope body press for two as Asako takes out Horace. Post match, los Gaijin decided to be poor sports and chair the fudge out of Asako and powerbomb Fuji on a chair.
Tarzan Goto vs Gregori Veritchev:
This is for some title, probably the FMW Martial Arts title. Scroto's not a total butterball yet. Veritchev gets knocked down a few tiems with a lariat. Goto actually uses a few holds before getting in a greco-roman chair to the head. Basically, Goto works on a body part with no real rhyme or reason. Goto actually gets air with a top rope splash. Goto misses a headbutt and posts himself and blades. Veritchev hits 2 or 3 judo throws and puts on a dragon sleeper which Goto rope saves out of. Two more throws, Veritchev wins with a cross armbreaker. Best if watched in fast forward.
Atsushi Onita vs Mr. Pogo (barbed wire board landmine match):
Pre-match, someone pokes one of the landmines with a stick to show that they work. Pogo lumbers through the crowd and throws chairs at people like they chanted "Smokin' Gunns!" at him or something. Pogo pushes Onita into the ropes and they spend a couple minutes struggling before Onita gets blowed up real good. The ref sells the explosion in the ring.... Pogo doesn't. Onita rolls around on the barbed wire a bit as Pogo gets a chair. Onita gets chaired a few times, then piledriven on it. Pogo rolls him out and we get a so-so landmine effect as they sort of go off one at a time, so it's not all that spectacular. Pogo hits another piledriver on a chair and then does his impression of the Goodyear Blimp in _Black Sunday_ as he hits a top rope splash for two. Onita starts hitting headbutts and takes a few minutes to try to throw Pogo out. Pogo gets blowed up real good. Onita comes out to the floor and then Vic Quionnes gets blowed up real good. Onita with some more headbutts and a DDT from the second rope. He hits another DDT and a lariat, a headbutt and a face crusher for two. Hey Onita, how about some headbutts! Another DDT out of the corner and then a face crusher off the top rope for the three. I don' think the number of different holds in this match reached double digits. There you go.
$$$$$$$$$$$ THE RIPPER's HIDDEN GEM OF 1998 $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Serial Thrillaz vs. Hardy Boyz (12/04/98)-OMEGA- Remember when you were a kid watching wrestling back in the mid-80's (for you older folks, suck it up and deal) and the best thing you could watch was a great Southern Style tag team match. The Midnight Express. The Rock N' Roll Express. The Fantastics, etc. Well, welcome to the 90's version of greatness. That would be, the super-over faces, the loathed and loved heels, actual tag teams not a thrown together hodgepodge, a face-in-peril, PSYCHOLOGY, double team action, and 90's state of the art moves that take your breath away right in the middle of North Carolina. We should all know by now the greatness that is the Hardy Boyz (the Z is because they are ruler and overlords of the street). As I mentioned, the Serial Thrillaz are great too since they have the great big, power guy/smaller, actual wrestler combo thing working to perfection. Mike Maverick has rebounded from two broken arms in time to be full up for this match while the Hardy's haven't killed themselves yet so everyone is on. There is too much action to recount everything but you definitely want to see Jeff Hardy nearly break his own neck on a somersault senton splash to the floor. Then watch as Jeff gets to play Ricky Morton for a really, really long time. Helms hits the splash off of Maverick's shoulders which is tre cool. The match goes about 20-25 minutes long with the crowd fired up through the entire thing. The Hardy's hit the splash/leg drop combo to get the win and everyone goes home happy.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$ SCHNEIDER's ONES TO WATCH IN 1999 $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
JESSIE BENNETT: There hasn't been a really worldclass American women's wrestler since Debbie Malenko broke her leg back in 1983. While Mailia Hosaka, Starla Sexton and even a pre-boob job Medusa Micelli all are or were competent in kind of a Scotty Riggs way, they all would get completely smoked by even a pedestrian JWP wrestler. Jesse Bennett- a rookie wrestler in the ARSION promotion in Japan- is probably the most promising American ladies wrestler to come down the pike in quite a while. She is a power wrestler in the mode of her fake sister Reggie, although she already has more high end power moves the Reg. I have watched a handful of matches and she has improved consistently, as she is training full time with Mariko Yoshida and Aja Kong. ARSION is psuedo-shoot, and gives a great base for any wrestler. It also has the bigger wrestlers sell a lot for smaller wrestler, which will keep her from becoming Nicole Bassesque. While it is doubtful Jessie would ever become a WWF star (she has prerequisite big boobs, but also has a bigger gut) she could be a great wrestler in Japan for a long time, sort of a female Vader with better matwork. She is greener then Shane Douglases urine right now, but she has the look of someone who could be huge (and I am not making the cheap fat joke, I promise).
LA MASCARA: Let me set the scene- I am sitting in my front row seat in Arena Coliso Monterey ($4.50 , I love Mexico) I am eating a bag of popcorn with hot sauce ($.25), I am sitting next to the worlds drunkest rudo fan, me and Vampiro are the only gringos in the house. The Lucha is colorful but pretty bad. In the third match we have Los Orientalas (a pair of guys in Japanese masks with painted on slanted eyes and attached ponytail) and Kato Sigma (generic technico with mediocre mask) taking on Crazzy Demon (lucha comedy rudo, hide the women and children) Dilivio II (poor mans Villano IV) and La Mascara. For all you chaodes who took French in high school La Mascara means "The mask." However La Mascara wasn't wearing a mask, it was FReAky. Despite his lack of mask, he took some big bumps, sold the cut rate flying pretty well, hit a nice Northern Lights suplex and look quite like the young up and coming bastard rudo. Keep an eye out for him in Tijuana HH undercards near you.
MIKE MODEST: APW incessant net pimping may turn some dorks off, but they have some talent in that little Garage in the dirty bay. While it may be questionable to call anyone who has been on NBC a hidden gem, very few people have see Mike Modest wrestle. He looks like the real deal, as he is a super sound worker who isn't afraid to bust out the neck fusing suplexes. He may be a little small for the big two, but he should be ECW World Champion right now, and his presence alone makes getting those sketchy poorly lit videos worth you time, as he is quite the man at carrying their green highflyers to things of beauty.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
%$%$%$%$% THE SHOOTO YEAR IN REVIEW $%$%$%$%$%$%$%$
(byMIKE NAIMARK)
1998 is in the books, TAFKA Prince can live off his air play residuals for an entire year, and according to both the legendary mystic Nostrodamus and the funny smelling guy at the corner of Cooper Ave and Young St. in Midtown Memphis, this next Wrestlemania will be our last on earth. I'll always cherish the tender memories 1998 gave me; continued close relationships with my family, professional accolades for my scientific research, and most importantly of all, 1998 was the year the "staff" at the DVDVR allowed me to enter their hallowed halls of journalistic pimphood. *sniff* Its all so FUCKIN' BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!
Moving on.....
##################
I'd like to start off with a trivia question for dedicated DVDVR readers of my little shooto corner: What does SAFTA stand for? The first person to email me with the correct answer (besides YOU, Dean) will win a NHB tape of their choice. Who loves ya, baby? Mnaimark@utmem.edu, thats who!
******************
With the new year safely behind us, I'd like to use my legendary Vulcan mind-melding techniques to convey to you, dear reader, the secret and innermost resolutions made by the elite of the no-holds-barred community. Be forewarned that these mind-melding techniques should NOT be tried by children at home, unless Gordon Solie says its ok.
MARK COLEMAN: "I vow to sit down every morning before I work out and watch the interview I gave at UFC 13 before fighting Maurice Smith. You know, the one where I say, "Im gonna take him to the ground and beat the shit out of him', before Maurice exposed me for the woefully one- dimensional fighter that I am. I haven't beaten anybody since, and the kids at the malt shop are making fun of my necklessness."
TANK ABBOTT: "I don't believe in New Years Resolutions. Yeah, I COULD yell ya I resolve to whip my pulpy carcass into shape, like it was the night I pounded the shit out of Luta Livre stud Hugo Duarte, but there's no way I'd give up on all the vodka and IHOP breakfasts. Now get out of my fucking mind before I drive out to Memphis and kick your spindly ass, Naimark."
[woah - sorry there big fella. Congrats on making the cover of "GREEN"
magazine!]
ROYCE GRACIE: "I'd like to decide if I'm really a fighter anymore. I took a few years off after dominating a bunch of kung fu ninja wannabees in the old UFCs, and just when I try to get back into the swing of things in a jiu-jitsu tournament, some pud named Wallid Ismael, whose already been in the UFC and gotten knocked around like a foozball, actually choked me into unconsciousness. You don't think the UFC would let me fight 51 year-old Ron Van Clief again, do you?"
MARK KERR: "This year, I only wanna fight the best fighters in the world. Royce Gracie was supposed to fight me this year and pulled out before losing in Brazil (and did you ever see what *I* did to Wallid Ismail's face when *we* fought?). Maybe undefeated Rickson Gracie will fight me. Or Renzo Gracie. Or Bas Rutten. I want to prove my skills to the world."
RICKSON GRACIE: "I resolve to finally get off my throne as the undefeated 400-0 fighter and prove to all of America that I am the greatest fighter in the world. Screw the money, because after I defeat everybody (like I've always said I would), the promoters will be begging to throw money at me. No bullshit tomato cans like Takada, either. Gimmie Tom Erikson. Gimmie Frank Shamrock. Just gimmie."
MURILLIO BUSTAMANTE: "I'd like to resolve to no longer be the best-kept secret in the world of NHB. C'mon, my guard is flawless; even Tom Erikson, who outweighed me by 100 lbs and is one of the best three wrestlers in NHB, couldn't pass it! I need fame! Women! Money! More women! Love me now and avoid the rush!"
DAN HENDERSON: "I really want to fight Alan Goes again. Our first match in Brazil was nifty! The rematch in the UFC was awesome! People keep mentioning "Kobashi" and "Misawa" when they talk about these fights. I'll fight them too, but I want Goes first!"
ALAN GOES: "Yeah, right down here, you big sissy!"
FRANK SHAMROCK: "I vow to do what my brother Ken never could do. Beat a bunch of good fighters."
VITOR BELFORT: "I vow to stay true to my jiu-jitsu background and quick taking those pills that made my arms big but shriveled my genitalia. This one goes out to all of you jiu-jitsu fans out there! Big Poppa Punch is your hook up! Yodel if you hear me!"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And now, the most coveted award of them all, the 1998 Death Valley Playboy Award for NHB Fighter of the Year! (This presentation was originally planned to air LIVE on cable, but the station producer insisted that Dean remove his damned LaParka outfit before going on camera, and we thrashed him soundly for his insolence.)
The nominees for the 1998 DVP award (The "Studley") are:
Igor Vovchanchin: Igor went undefeated in 1998, including a win at in the WVC5 tournament over 3 fighters. When he got a big break to work the opening match of the mega-event PRIDE4 against Gary Goodridge, Igor didn't disappoint and sent the bigger man sprawling.
Mark Kerr: "Big Freaky" rolled over the competition in 1998, beating the stuffing out of Luta Livre loudmouth "The Pedro" in two minutes before giving an extended clubbering to Hugo Duarte. May be the most feared man in NHB today.
Akira Shoji: The little shootfighter came up big when the bright lights were on him. In the three PRIDE mega-events he participated in, Shoji emerged with a shiny 2-0-1 record, including a stoppage against Wallid Ismail, who just beat some guy named Gracie last month. If you don't like this scrappy little pitbull, go comisserate with Paul Varelans.
Frank Shamrock: The UFC's fresh-faced poster boy (at least until Vitor Belfort gets back on track), Shamrock started the year off with a bang by beating Olympic Gold Medalist Kevin Jackson in less time than it takes to drain your bladder. He followed this up by similarly squashing 1992 Russian Olympic Judo team memeber Igor Zinoviev before looking merely Îsomewhat' superhuman in a win against Jeremy Horn.
Ebenezer Fontes Braga: My favorite little Brazilian dude, ol' EFB maintained his usual standards of excellence, going undefeated in 1998, including a stoppage in his his UFC debut match against Jeremy Horn.
Dan Severn: Severn deserves to be here like Elvis deserved his black belt. But Dan did go 7-0-1 this year, mostly by beating up tomato cans like UFC reject Kevin Rozier TWICE this year. Severn remains the least exciting fighter in NHB. Can a career as one of the Undertaker's hooded druids be far behind?
And the winner is.............
Frank SHAMROCK! For destroying the best 200lb freestyle wrestler on the entire planet in 17 seconds and continuing to dominate the 200lb weight division for the entire year in the UFC, Frank Shamrock has earned every inch of phallic symbolism on this beautiful "Studley" statuette. Enjoy the moment Frank. I heard they've booked you to fight Vitor Belfort next month.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
@#@#@#@#@# JWP BATTLE STATION 7/12/98
(byDEAN RASMUSSEN)
Yoshiko Tamura vs. Sari Osumi:
HEY! It's Tamura- the gal who was nearly killed by Aja Kong last year. I haven't seen her in a while and when I did she was being WCWLuchadored by Kyoko the shooter Inoue's Neo Japan Ladies so I wasn't expecting this to be so good. Tamura looked as pissed as Yumi Fukawa was looking before she joined ARSION so may be we have the beginning of the story of 1999. Equally pissed off, Sari Osumi was suitably fiesty and deeply in need of a sammich. If she had ten more pounds on her, the black boots and fishnets would DEFINATELY cause stirrings in the Japanese Midnight Choker Society Meetings- there and abroad. SHE looked good in this match too- as they hit all these cool roll-ups and toprope dropkicks- with Tamura taking a big lead in the cool submission sweepstakes with the superSWANKY kneebar roll-ups and stuff. I see a cool undercurrent to the young punkettes of GAEA and ARSION. Definately neato enough.
Tomoko Miyaguchi vs. Kanako Motoya:
You got the SUGAR, Satomura, Kato and Nagashima in GAEA; You got Fukawa, Omakai, Futagami and Jesse Bennett in ARSION; You got Sakai and Sogabe in Jd'; You got Momoe and Maekawa in AJW; and you got Emi Motokawa in IWA Restart- there's all your sure bets to take you into the next millenium so far. Here you got two of the JWP Big Four contributions (along with Amano and the least clothed of the four- Kazumi). Since Amano is so closely aligned with SUGAR and Oz, Miyaguchi is usually clumped as one third of the Motoya-Kazumi-Miyaguchi JWP 1994 AJW-styled superworkers. This makes for the cool sections of this match because Motoya and Kazumi are SO the hateful cheerleaders who make fun of Miyaguchi the High School Designated Smoking Area, Chugging Wine Coolers In Her Boyfriends Blue Duster Redneck Queen. Even Miyaguchi's offense is redneck in that I never actually liked a wrestler with so much reliance on so many Somoan Drop variations and who uses a downright Paul Jonesian Airplane Spin. I was waiting for a football tackle and for the Super Destroyer to come out and get somebody in the claw. This was good though. Not as good as the super pissed Tamura vs the super pissed Osumi match in actual crispness of execution of everything, but Miyaguchi has the whole mid-eighties bad John Hughes teen movie angst thing going for her (in my mind) so I was drawn to this more than one should be, I'm thinking. Miyaguchi is Murdockian in her Brainbuster stylings to score the win over Miss Prisspants.
Devil Masami vs. Tomoko Kazumi:
Devil Masami- who was young Jackie Sato's Big Sister in Keyettes back in High School in the Sixties- sucks as Devil Masami. The only thing worse is Devil Masami as Super Heel Devil Masami. This is horrible. Kazumi doesn't even wear the Tiny Pants That Make Me Feel Like The Oldest Man Alive- so this is a total wash. The Death Valley Driver Video Review says, "Dean on the Remote Control like a MotherFucker."
Dynamite Kansai/ Cutie Suzuki vs. Hikari Fukuoka/ Reiko Amano:
This starts off great as Our Gal- Dynamite Kansai- punts the hell out of Amano's face and then DOES IT AGAIN. Hikari Fukuoka shows Kazumi how to sport the tiny pants that make JWP tapes such a challenge- so yes, gentle reader, your reviewer's self-loathing and autorepulsion meter is really OFF THE CHARTS at the moment. Luckily for you non-total pig viewers, Hikari- the World's Best Women's Wrestler Today- isn't afraid to get your mind off her tiny pants by showing Mitsuhara Misawa how to hit a Running Somersault Heel Kick like a KING- as she demolishes Cutie Suzuki with a kick about as flashy and SWANK as they come. Hakari proceeds to show the Earth why she is the best in the world today by showing that- within the span of one year- she made Yasha Kurenai look credible in the Big-Time for one night and also BEAT THE LIVING HELL out of Dynamite Kansai convincingly. Now that's a charming trick if I ever saw one. It helps Hikari cause that- at one point- she kicks Kansai in the face harder than Aja Kong ever did in 1994. Kansai leans into it like a QUEEN and later takes her frustration out on the suddenly magnificent Amano- who also came out of this looking great by putting the submission-laden beatdown on Cutie on the second wave of offense for her side that happened after Fukuoka kicked Kansai's ass. The ending was pretty insane as it was knockout blows with saves at the two count forever. Kansai whips out the SUPERNASTY Reverse Die Hard Kansai with the assist of Cutie- as if it was needed. Amano takes that superhellish bump and also took the Tope To Nowhere earlier in the match like a CHAMP. No Moonsault stomp but I don't even care. This was really great. GET ALLLL THIS.
$$$$$$$$$$$$ THE RIPPER's THREE TO WATCH IN 1999 $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
VENOM: Venom, sweet sweet Venom. Boy, oh boy. The future of power wrestling thy name is Venom. For a big man (I guessing around the 280 lbs. range but don't quote me on that) he has everything you could possibly hope for in a great wrestler. The whole key to Venom is that he already established his ability to work on his entire in-ring work. Dean compared him to a better version of Mike Awesome which I will blatantly steal here. He has the cool power moves. Wicked suplexes and his version of the Falcon Arrow is definitely top drawer. He has already developed an incredible knack for psychology which will make him a favorite anywhere. Venom sells like a mother as he has done a great job of learning how to walk that fine line of making his opponent's offense look credible without losing the reality that he is supposed to be this indestructible monster. I mean I watched him in the ring with Kid Dynamo who is like 40 times smaller than he is and Venom was right there selling the lucha armdrags and ranas. I can talk about it all I want but you never full grasp the concept until you see it live. You shake your head thinking "there is no way someone that big can do all that." Yup he does. He gives off the intensity and desire to perform well and be great of what he is doing. You wanna be scared. Be standing next to Venom as he is brawling through the crowd as he tells you to get the fuck out of the way. Yes, Mr. Venom. Anything you say sir. For the most part a staple in the Carolinas, including being the cream of the OMEGA crop, Venom has started to expand his horizons making his first trip to Mexico and venturing up North to Maryland. Oh yeah, he has the world's greatest trunks now. GOD FEARS VENOM. They rule! In the next year, I hope to see this big video package were McMahon, Bischoff, Heyman and whoever else sit around bidding for Venom's services. Each week he eliminates one. Like the old "who's gonna manage Randy Savage skits". Then I want he to be like, "FUCK YOU ALL, I'm going to Japan." Aaah, Venom my favorite wrestler that you are just starting to hear of.
KID DYNAMO: To be 15 and have a future. God I miss those days. Well, I might be using a slight hyperbole. Dynamo is 16 I think. He also like 3'4" and weighs 69 pounds soaking wet but that is what makes a rising star in the light heavyweight ranks. He still is probably due for an actual, all-natural growth spurt but I am not counting on it. It also might work against his wrestling style which is pretty much stolen straight out of the Michinkou Pro handbook. You know that bizarre hybrid of lucha and New Japan juniors. Dynamo leans more on the lucha but there are heavy influences from the good Japanese folks. Like most of the OMEGA fellows he has been trained by Matt Hardy, which is not a bad person to learn the ropes from. (Remember Matt Hardy. 2010 WWF Heavyweight Champion.) Dynamo is not afraid to die for your sins either- as he will fly through a table off the top rope to the floor for shits and giggles. Since he is so young and still gaining the experience, there will also be the periods of sloppiness and looseness when watching one of his matches. But that will go away. I can already see an improvement from the beginning of 1998 to the end. That is why 99 will be the break out year. It will be another full year under his belt and on the job training helps heaps. Geez, I have seen Dynamo get good matches out of Joey Matthews and Christian York. Since Matthews only seems to bring his A game to OMEGA and York is just not good, that is no small task. Now that OMEGA isn't running as hefty a schedule, I look forward to Dynamo traveling and peddling his wears against some new indy mainstays, namely folks like Reckless Youth and Mike Quakenbush. Dynamo is all about winning the crowd over since the preteens are not afraid to have their first sexual experiences when they think of him. Of course, I'm not a big fan of the bell bottom tights he wears in the ring since I don't think Dynamo lived a second in the 70's. Then when Dynamo can actually drive himself to his matches, his potential will grow even more.
SHANE HELMS: If there ever was a true gem to watch, it is Shane Helms. He quite simply a star waiting to burst out onto your television screen. Why? Namely because he rules and is cut straight from the same cloth as a certain surly Canadian ass-kicker known as Chris Benoit. Helms is one crazy son-of-a-bitch that can wrestle his ass off. He teams with Mike Maverick (who is none to shabby himself) to form the Serial Thrillaz. They are kinda like Power & Glory were only if Hercules Hernandez could actually wrestle. But Helms is all about being better than Paul Roma was. Helms wrestled at times under the name Kid Vicious but drop that because he knew that, "Hey I'm great. I don't need a stupid nickname. You are going to watch me because I rule and you can't take your eyes off of me." He has this presence about him that the big wrestlers have and that makes him doubly the hot commodity. You are never gonna complain about someone who can keep on the mat, work the high-flying spots in without a second thought and then bump his ass off. It does not hurt Helms at all that he is fucking insane. Hey there is a soda machine. Let me jump off that. Hey there is a 20 foot high armed transport. Let me jump off that. Go to Japan young man. Become great. Kick some ass. Take some names.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ SCHNEIDER's 1998 HIDDEN TREASURE $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Blue Panther/ Satanico vs. Super Astro/ Solar 1- IWC; Monterey Mexico December 12th 1998: It was 2:30 in the morning, they were in front of 100 fans, 5 camera men, a sound guy, me and Cham Pain, wrestling in a criminally hard ring. Both teams had already wrestled twice before. If anyone had an incentive to mail it in it was these four. Instead they put on near 30 minute display of wrestling that would make any old school fan stand up and cheer. It was a true pleasure to watch Blue Panther and Solar rip it up in a Funk v. Brisco style mat wrestling clinic, including the amateur style ride by Solar, the Greco-Roman lock up by Panther, the deadlift out of the key lock by Panther which Solar turned into a victory roll while still holding the key lock. Then you had Astro bouncing around the ring and Satanico getting about as fired up as a fifty year old rudo can. It even ends with a foul like any classic lucha match should. In theroy this should be airing on a UHF TV station near you, but don't hold your breath. It was about as underground as wrestling gets but it was the best match I saw live all year.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$#$#$#$#$#$#$ JWP BATTLE STATION 8/12/98
(byDEAN RASMUSSEN)
Obacchi Iizuka (Jd')/ Erika Watanabe vs. Tomiko Sai/ Kazuko Fujiwara (Jd')
Obacchi the Green-Grocer With A Taste For Violence finds a fellow traveller in the spunky Watanabe. The vegetable of choice is Some Kind Of Zucchinni. They don't win, but Obacchi makes a rookie match fun so it bodes well for the rest of her raucous career. Obacchi, Watanabe, Nanae Takahashi: The Future Is Unglamorous And All Stompy.
Kayuko Haruyama vs. Sumie Sakai:
HEY! It's Sumie Sakai- cool-ass Judo girl and Jd' young-punk saving grace against JWP neophyte Haruyama. This is clipped to much but Sakai was still just entering The Awesomehood at this point.
Mima Shimoda/ Etsuko Mita vs. Yoshiko Tamura/ Kanako Motoya:
Mima and Etsuko are GREAT in this as they show the youngsters what the true meaning of SAUCY truly is. SUPERETSUKO and ULTRAMIMA jump in their 1967 convertible Corvette and head out to the Valley of the JWP Ultravixens, so to speak, and divide and conquer as they do everywhere. Etsuko is SOOO saucy in this as she strikes the cool and detached pose as she stretches Tamura and stares at Motoya- saying with her eyes, "What do YOU got?" Motoya runs in enraged and gets pie-faced by Mita- in the MegaVIXEN moment of the match. And Mima continues to hold onto her amazing sauciness despite being dressed by someone's mom. Mita keeps the TOTALLY Mind-Damaging and Unnerving For Half The Population Of The Earth outfit while Shimoda has to dress like the Ethel Mertz of Neo Ladies. I guess we should all face facts- if you are a Japanese Women's wrestling fan and heterosexual man over thirty, Mima Shimoda could be wearing a sequinned Elvis jumpsuit and a ski jacket and it would still uncontrollably bust you up the same. It's the intrisic sauciness of Mima Shimoda. This whole match is pretty estrogen soaked- though they don't play off "the young hot babes take on the Eternal hot babes"angle like they should. I mean, c'mon- the psychosexual ramifications of Mima and Shimoda are so not-even-thinly vieled. They are the Bad Girls who could have their way with anyone and then break their spinal chord afterwards- the true Icon of Sexual Feminist Empowerment. The fact that they are taking on youngsters still trying to find their way should have been an easy booking target. JWP needs Chigusa in situations like this to drain out the whole sexual competition between women scenario like she does SO masterfully with the whole Sugar vs Sonoko Kato angle and HELL! everything else to a certain extent really. Instead, here, we get a big bunch of quality wrestling as Tamura and Motoya get Mita in a predicament- but en lieu of an actual save, Shimoda knows that throwing a chair at whichever young punk in the ring sends a much stronger message. Etsuko sets up the toperope plancha- tope combo by taking Tamura over to her corner and throwing her on top of Motoya to get them to the ground. This stuff is great. They have the tres swank fake ending as Motoya and Tamura start suplexing the hell out of Shimoda and Tamura flies into a bunch knee submissions. Mita breaks their momentum by beating Motoya, Tamura and the ref with chairs- and the brawl into the stands ensues. They do the Rail Ride and ending comes soon after. Postmatch, Motoya tries to break bad with Shimoda but Shimoda threatens to rip her spinal cord out and use it to tie down her luggage and we go to Interviews Of Hate.
Dynamite Kansai/ Tomoko Miyaguchi vs. Mayumi Ozaki/ Reiko Amano:
This was really good. It starts off with Amano and Miyaguchi going at a breakneck pace for a while and then Kansai and Ozaki square off with it eventually spilling out into the stands. Amano carries a large part of the body of the match as they take it to the mat and it's all really good- as Miyaguchi stretches Amano in the traditional way and Amano counters out with shootstyle stuff. Kansai goes Backdrop crazy on everybody at one point. After Amano and Miyaguchi carry the middle of the match it settles into an extended foray into Race To Kill The Junior Partner- with Miyaguchi finagling out of the Tequila Sunrise Suplex with harsh, kicky assists by Kansai- and the other side of the coin- Kansai attempting to Niagra Drive Amano's youthful tiny head into the mat. Ozaki saves Amano
which leads to Ozaki giving Kansai a bunch of Uricans and a couple of her TSS's. Kansai kicks out and Amano goes for her final Cross-Armbreaker. Kansai makes the ropes, Miyaguchi dives onto Ozaki in the corner and five reversals later, Kansai is finally positioning Amano for the kill as she hits a Dangerous Backdrop and Big ole Black Tiger Bomb. This was pretty choice for the big reason that Miyagushi and Amano are so good and stiff and tough. They carried the body of the match with Ozaki and Kansai supplying the tricky stuff and the nasty powermoves- respectively.
Devil Masami/ Cutie Suzuki vs. Hikari Fukuoka/ Tomoko Kozumi:
Basically a bunch of time killing until Kozumi gets the flash pin on Masami with a toprope Sunset Flip- which is about the only notable thing about august effort at grappling. Devil is just Devil here and she does actually put over a youngster so I'm in love with Devil Masami all over again. And I was SOOO ready to whip out the "Devil Von Raschke"jokes. Kozumi cries and they get the belts and it's beautiful and all. Kozumi gets to hold the fat ass bowling trophy that goes along with the belt. Devil talks smack to Hikari postmatch, Hikari says she's gonna wear Devils ribs as snowshows the next time they meet and then they all shake hands and everybody cries and shit. It's quite a moment.
AND ON ANOTHER NOTE: Two JWP Battle Stations and NADA Moonsault Stomps. This stuff is still pretty great for the most part and you should see it- rib-crushing or no.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$ NAIMARK's HIDDEN TREASURE of1998 $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
This year's hidden nugget o' asswhoopin' joy comes to us from Brazil, where taking your opponent to the ground and beating the crap out of him while still on your back is all the rage! And they're MAD about Old Navy Track Pants! But I digress....
One event I really enjoyed was the 8/23/98 International Vale Tudo Championships (IVC). Vanderlei Silva, who had a reputation as a heavy hitter, took on Hammerhouse wrestling stud Mike Van Arsdale. In what at least *I* considered to be a stunning upset, Silva totally took Van Arsdale out of his game and ended up knocking the wrestling champ silly in less than 5 minutes. I was all set to declare the then-undefeated Silva 'the next big thing' in NHB when he was suddenly booked against the 'Phenom', Vitor Belfort, at UFC Brazil. In front of 15,000 screaming Brazilians (and HEY, I learned how to say 'fuck you' in Portuguese!), Vitor Belfort totally overwhelmed Silva and knocked him cold as Macaulay Culkin's career in under a minute. Oh well. I'd rather be unconcious than claim any responsibility for the horrid 'Richie Rich' movie myself.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$ REV RAY's THREE TO WATCH IN 1999 $$$$$$$$$$
DRAGON KID: Overall, I think it's going to be a big year for the Toryumon guys because Ultimo Dragon's going to start to promote in Japan. Now, I would have picked Magnum Tokyo, but he did get some exposure this year in WCW as one of the top 10 tag teams in North America, Disco Inferno and Alex Wright's goofy dance partner. I would have picked Shima Nobunaga, but he's already getting a good sized push in MPro with his fellow Crazy MAX'ers in SASUKE-gumi.... so I went with the Kid. He's got some of the greatest flying spots I've seen in a while. He pulls off the Rey Misterio Jr somersault into a rana move that had the announcers on MPro TV (including Sasuke) marking out like monkeys. He will be great if doesn't kill himself somehow.
ASIAN COUGAR: Hey, we went for the obscure... and if you're working the first 3 matches at a IWA Restart show, you're pretty obscure. Cougar's a great suicidal type flyer who seems to slum down in the low grade indie circuit of japan. Hell, Cougar's matches made the two hours of IWA Restart I borrowed from Pete Stein fly by. He needs to get hooked up with SASUKE-gumi or something and start getting some mainstream press.
TOMOAKI HONMA: Homna's one of those guys that you can't seem to figure out what the hell he's doing on the midcards of a Big Japan show. He's a pretty good quasi-shooter guy who was not afraid to bring cool ass WRESTLING matches to a show that featured some combo of Nakamaki, Pogo, Matsunaga, Shadow Winger, Great Pogo and Great Kojika giving each other barbed wire enemas on top. The good news is that it seems like he's moved up in the cards... the bad news is it's to take the place of the departed sick fucks Nakamaki and Pogo in garbage matches. Hell, his own tag partner is breaking light bulbs over his head. Of course, now that the Lord of FATbush, Abdullah the Butcher, is in town, hopefully, it's back to the midcard and some wrestling for our boy Homna. If not, he needs to jump to Battlarts, FMW, New Japan, All Japan, MPro...
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
#$#$#$#$#$# ARSION- STARLET '98 Pro Shot Handheld 5/8/98
(byPHIL SCHNEIDER)
Rie Tamada vs. Jesse Bennet:
This is definitly the best I have ever seen Jesse look, as she didn't get completely smoked on the mat by Tamada. There was one hideously blown spot as Tamada tried to turn a powerbomb into a rana but both just fell down. Everything else was pretty darn good with Jesse breaking out some big power moves including a Tamada killer powerbomb, and Tamada doing some midrange flying and midgrade submission. I have been quite underwhelmed by Tamada in ARSION and Jesse is a ways away from being good, so this match not sucking, was quite a pleasant surprise.
Lady Metal vs. Fabby Apache
In the bizzaro Nitro that is ARSION, the lucha matches are fast forward material and the big heavyweights rule it. This match was a lot like the Nortenito / Eddie Banda v. Titanic/Mitsunori match I saw live at Arena Coliso early in December. There was a whole lot of lame lucha comedy, a metric ton of blown spots, and more armdrags then you can shake a stick at. Nortenito at least did a tope, while these two ladies did nothing and did a whole lot of it. Seemed like the match took an hour, Flabby gets the win with a submission she didn't apply properly. POOOOOO!
Yumi Fukawa vs Mariko Yoshida:
These are two of my favorites in this little promotion that could, and I was suitably cyked for this one. It wasn't as great as I was hoping, as it was a little too short, but it was still a damn choice example of the freaky little style that makes ARSION the neatest women's promotion around. The whole match had a lucha/shootstyle vibe, which was highlighted by the super swank monkey flip into a cross armbreaker by Yoshida, and the diving top rope cross armbreaker by Fukawa. The end was pretty swank with Yoshida making Fukawa tap out with some sort of neck crimp. Then Yoshida gets all Ultra Vixen and slaps Fukawa and steps on her face. Both these ladies were completely wasted in AJW with Yoshida being overshadowed by the worlds worst hat, and Fukawa trying to become a cut rate Manami Toyota. ARSION has allowed them to blossom in a new style and they are neck in neck for most improved wrestler of the year.
Michiko Futagami/ Aja Kong vs Reggie Bennett/ Candy Okutsu:
Futagami and Aja are a kick ass tag team, as they just beat the snickers out of Reggie and Candy. This was as stiff as I have seen Futagami work as she just kicks Reggie real hard in the back, she also does a great Nothern Lights Suplex on the behemoth Reggie Bennett. Okutsu continues her streak of just not getting it, as she does a lot of crappy moonsaults and her worlds worst rolling German suplex. Okutsu may be a perfectly acceptable JWP style wrestler but she flat out sucks in this style, her moves just don't look credible and the fancy crap is totally out of place. Okutsu beats Futagami with the Weaver lock, and I am underwhelmed. Neat match when Candy was on the apron, or Aja was beating her up, but when she was on offense it blew goats.
$$$$$$$$$$$$ REV RAY's HIDDEN TREASURE OF 98 $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Magnum Tokyo/ SAITO/ Dragon Kid vs Shima Nobunaga/ Sumo Fuji/ Judo Suwa:
Elimination Tag Match - MPro Lucha TV: This was the Best Match You Probably didn't see. During a year where their chief star was out of action and their lead heel group had all jumped to the US to put over the Odditites, Michinoku Pro did a smart thing... they started filling time on their two hour show by playing matches from Grupo Revolucion. These guys pull out moves that make veterans mark out. While SAITO and Sumo Fuji have yet to show that they're going to be ungodly good, they're pretty solid and the first ones to go, leaving the top 4 of the current Ultimo Dragon class. you watch, you love. Crazy Max is the Kaientai DX of the next decade.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ NAIMARK's FOUR TO WATCH IN 1999 $$$$$$$$$$$$$$
MIKEY BURNETTE: WHO? Thats what I asked when this unknown 5'6 spud from the Lion's Den entered the UFC Octagon to face Luta Livre legend Eugenio Tadeau, who had been in the ring with the best fighters Brazil has to offer. Mikey didn't take a backwards step and went nose-to- nose with the veteran until Tadeau backed down and was knocked senseless. After a lackluster outing against Pat Millitech (who seems to be a participant in many lackluster outings; think Dan Severn fresh from a prison slave-labor camp), Burnett showed tremendous striking power and grappling skills as he dominated elite freestyle wrestler Townsend Saunders. A real up-and- comer.
TITO ORTIZ: Another UFC rookie, Ortiz entered UFC13 as an alternate. The word was that he was a Tank Abbott disciple, which drew snickers since Tank's last "trainee" was bludgeoned in spectacular fashion by Gary Goodridge in UFC8 after about 15 seconds. Ortiz not only breezed through his opponent, but went on to totally dominate UFC Middleweight champion (and current King of Pancrase) Guy Metzger, delivering a series of thunderous knees to the skull which may have caused Metzger to tap out. The referee stopped the match to have Metzger's cuts inspected, and on the restart, the wily Metzger caught the eager rookie charging in with a guillotine choke for the win. In his UFC return, Ortiz pulled a *major* upset by taking out one of the top middleweights in the world, Jerry Bohlander, by TKO. He's big (6'2, 199), quick, smart of the ground, and is a very skilled striker with his hands. And he has one big bonus - that killer instinct.
IGOR VOVCHANCHIN: Not really a "breakthrough", as Igor has been one of the best kept secrets in NHB for a couple of years now. Igor's boxing ability is unparalleled in NHB, with knockout power in both hands and uncanny accuracy. This year he destroyed TWO BJJ (Brazilian jiu- jitsu) black belts, a top flight wrestler (Nick Nutter), the master of the dreaded "Scrotum Claw" Gary Goodridge, and avenged his only loss by whuppin' fellow Russian Mikhail Illioukhine. Somebody get this guy a drink! And a big, fat NHB contract in the UFC or Japan!
ENSON INOUE: Enson's always been a great technical shootfighter. He wins a few, he loses a few (notably to Frank Shamrock), but he always looks competant and comfortable on the ground. He was just another rock-solid submissions fighter. And then he beat Randy Coutre. In case you don't remember what that means, Randy Coutre was the undefeated current UFC champion. He holds a win over former WWF'er Tony "Ludvig Borgia" Halme. Oh yeah, and he knocked out some guy named Vitor Belfort. Enson was undaunted and thrashed Coutre with an armbar in 90 show-stealing seconds to become the instant superstar of the shootfighting world. Congratulations to a fine, gutsy fighter.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$ RASMUSSEN's THREE TO WATCH IN 1999 $$$$$$$$$$$$$
AKINORI TSUKIOKA: This is the really impressive IWA Restart Boy and he seems to be poised for true goodness. He does the new wave of BattlARTS ShootoFLYING but he is SOO much seedier and more underground with his freakiness. He's good on the mat as he feigns BattlARTSIAN shootstyle approximations as good as Okamoto or Usuda and kicks hjust as hard as those guys, but he also whips out the highgrade lucha highspots and hits them like a fifteen year old Mexican in a PAPSA six-man rookie match.. WHO TRAINS THESE GUYS? Tsukioka is an even more punk-ass version of Minoru Tanaka but without the highbrow pretensions- in that it doesn't seem like he's really at war with himself when he "reverts" to highflying. The fact that he has a numerous chances to mix it up with Asian Cougar makes IWA Restart and the rest of the filthy Japanese indie underworld so thoroughly pursuable. This should be a super fun year for the Puroresu Indies and Tsukioka should be at the point.
OBACCHI IIZUKA: She seems to be more than just her Angry Green-grocer gimmick. She has the rookie spark that a lot of rookies don't have. She reminds me of Sakia in that aspect- as a Jd' project that Jaguar molded into quite a little wrestling dynamo. If you give Jaguar a spark, she can create a big blaze of wrestling goodness and I see this as being her next big... forest... fire. Plus, she has the gimmick to go along with and I'm a sucker for crud THAT weird. SHE'S BREAKING OUT, GODDAMMITALL! TRUST ME! She's gonna be EMI II~!: RETURN OF JARED-SYN! all over again. Gimme Danger! Gimme Jd'!
MACH JUNJI: I think he's got the edge over the rest of his Flyingshooterboys ilk, in that he is more credible on the mat than Hidaka, Fujita or Hijikata and flies better than all of them too. Great pants, neat name, scrawny, wiry, tough little bastard- a sort of scrawnier version of the divine young tough bastard Honma. I see 1999 being the year when he gets to the EMI~! level of culty goodness. He's a lot like Tsukioka in that he has a couple of guys in his promotion who wrestle a style as skewed as his own and they can all develop together and it's gonna be fun to watch. Mach is gonna be top of the class though.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$%$%$%$%$%$% FRONTIER MARTIAL-ARTS WRESTLING- 4/30/98- ENTERTAINMENT WRESTLING LIVE
(by REV RAY!)
FMW's first PPV on DirecTV. They've got a lot of lights and stuff in the area and it looks neat and all, but it would help if they actually had people in the seats.... the place is downright empty.
Promo for Hido plays, clips of him in his underwear, of his wife, Megumi Kudo (what up wit dat?), of Hido dancing with the rest of the Brief Brothers.
Joined in Progress : Hideki Hosaka (ZEN) v. Hido (Team No Respect) :
Hido's now totally shaved his head. This is a battle of former stable mates from the W*ING/early ZEN days. Hido pretty much controls the Hido controls with some lairats until he misses a moonsault. He hits some Terry Funk jabs, Hosaka catches him with a ring rope clothesline from an overhead powerbomb and a lyger bomb for twos. Hosaka tries for a rana, but Hido rolls through for the win. Post match, Gedo, Jado and Kanemura hit the ring and bring out Kudo and present Hido with a new robe. Not bad, but not that great either.
Hisakatsu Ohya (FMW) vs. Koji Nakagawa (ZEN) vs. Chris Chetti (ECW):
This is mostly clips. Nakagawa gets eliminated first to an Ohya armbar on his bad shoulder. Chetti hits his double springboard moonsault which Ohya kicks out of. Ohya puts away Chetti after two back suplexes. This was pretty much highlights so it's tough to tell how good it was.
John Kronus (ECW)/ Ricky Fuji (FMW) vs. Gedo/Jado (Team No Respect):
Gedo and Jado goof around with the announcer pre-match and make him put on underwear and do the Brief Brothers dance. One thing to be noted, for some reason, FMW dubs over the ring entrances so people get canned theme songs rather than the real songs, but sometimes, if someone goes to a live mic, you can catch the real version of the song. Gedo and Jado come out to a canned version of "Sharp Dressed Man" by ZZ Top. Jump into the match, Fuji is getting worked over by the Do's until he double DDT's them. Kronus tags, hits a few of his spots, but doesn't look too crisp. Fuji hits a Kamakazi. Kronus and Fuji hit total elimination on Jado. Go Ito save Jado from getting pinned by a 450 splash by distracting the ref. Jado ends up pinning Kronus with a brainbuster. This didn't really look all that sharp or chrisp, though that looked to be more due to Fuji and Kronus than Gedo and Jado.
Yukihiro Kanemura (Team No Respect) vs. Jinsei Shinzaki (Michinoku Pro):
Kanemura comes out to a canned version of "Come Out And Play" by the Offspring. Kanemura does the TNR dance and when he stops, it looks like underwear falls from the ceiling. Kanemura taunts Shinzaki by actually making like he's jacking off at him. There's some angle involving a referee which may or may not be playing favorites with Team No Respect being the back up ref for the match. Kanemura controls early when Ito distracts Shinzaki allowing Kanemura to put Shinzaki through one of the indestructable tables following a top rope splash to the floor. Kanemura gets a 2 with a top rope elbow and then tenderizes Shinzaki some with a barbed wire bat. Kanemura hurts his hands when a bat shot finds nothing but post. Shinzaki gets the bat and the other referee stops Shinzaki from using it. Back in the ring, Kanemura with a low blow and some more bat shots. Shinzaki gets the bat and gets a few revenge shots, Kanemura tossed outside and Shinzaki hits a tope. Shinzaki with a praying powerbomb through an indestructable table on Kanemura. Shinzaki with a two following a springboard drop kick when Go Ito nails ref Ted Tanabe with part of a table. Kanemura uses the table a few times, hits a cool Togo Senton. Shinzaki gets the table wails on Kanemura with it and then hits his back flip kick, his dragon screw and the crossed arm camel clutch on Kanemura. Ito comes in to break it up and gets dragon screwed and put in the crossed arm camel clutch. Kanemura complains to the "evil" ref who in turn smacks Kanemura. Shinzaki hits a jumping kick and hits a great praying powerbomb for the win. This was pretty OK. Shinzaki pretty much did all his key moves minus the Sasuke Special and I like Kanemura, who's a great dick heel, so it worked out nice.
Horace Boulder/ Super Leather (Team No Respect) vs. Gladiator/ Tetsuhiro Kuroda (ZEN)- Street Fight
(Everyone's in jeans, so it's either a street fight or laundry day in FMW): They jump into the match, Gladiator low blows Leather while on the top rope and goes for the Kamakazi Awesome bomb, but Horace saves with a chair shot. Leather hits a superplex and they spike powerbomb Gladiator for a two. Horace accidentally clotheslines Leather over the top rope. Kuroda hits a few clotheslines and suplexes for two. Horace hits a powerslam for 2 and Glad saves Kuroda from a two following a fire thunder powerbomb. Kuroda hits the drop toe hold into the turnbuckles on Boulder, when he goes for some moves off the buckles on Horace, he gets low blowed and sidewalk slammed off the ropes.
Bam Bam Bigelow (ECW) vs. Masato Tanaka (FMW/ECW):
They dub over some weird music for Bigelow but as you hear the announcers talk, you can hear "Welcome to the Jungle" playing in the background. Bigelow throws Tanaka around a bunch early. Tanaka would knock Bam Bam down or move out of the way of something, but then get nailed again. Tanaka gets powerbombed following a rana attempt. Bigelow goes for another powerbomb, Tanaka fights out. Tanaka gets in a top rope drop kick, a diving elbow smash, a clothesline over the top rope and a elbow suicida before he gets caught doing a pescado and gets posted. Bam Bam throws him over the railing and throws him into the chairs and railing a bit. Good thing all those seats were empty. The brawl to the back as some fans chant "ECW". Tanaka fights back, puts Bam Bam across the railing and hits him with an elbow following running down the apron. Tanaka hits a jumping chairshot the corner and a so-so swinging DDT. Tanaka gets a table, but Bam Bam catches him and powerbombs him. Bam Bam lays Tanaka across a table. Bam Bam actually uses some psychology in setting up a table spot by slapping on a sleeper hold for a few minutes before jumping off on Tanaka. The problem is the table just sort of tips over and doesn't break. Bam Bam sets the table up in the corner and runs Tanaka back first into it. Bam Bam tries to work the crowd, but they seem dead. Bam Bam press slams Tanaka out to the floor on top of Mr. Pogo II and another second. Tanaka makes it back in a 19. Bam Bam with a suplex for two. He hits a DDT and goes for the moonsault but Tanaka recovers to powerbomb him off the top rope. Tanaka with elbows and lariats which don't knock Bam Bam down. Tanaka with a sort of exploder for two. Bam Bam back drops out of a powerbomb. Tanaka with a rolling elbow for two. Tanaka hits some enzugiris, but gets caught when doing a top rope body press and gets hit with a real poor Greetings from Asbury Park, his head was around Bam Bam's belly when he sat down. Post match Bigelow puts over Tanaka in the back. It wasn't a horrible match. I mean, it gets points for actually setting up a table spot and for them not doing the goofy chair to the head spot Tanaka does all the time in ECW.
Kodo Fuyuki (Team No Respect) vs. Atsushi Onita (ZEN):
Highlights of the feud dating back to 1996 play. Including showing that Horace can't do the Team No Respect dance at all. Also included is the great bit where Fuyuki comes out as Onita complete with bandages and fake scars on his body. Fuyuki comes out with two nurses. Too bad his boobs are bigger than theirs. Onita makes sure to start trouble with Ricky Fuji who's at the announcer's table. The great thing about factional feuds- Fuyuki does his goofy no sell bit which Onita later mocks himself. TNR beats up Onita at ringside. Ontia blades after getting posted and you get to watch him hide the blade while he's on the floor. Fuyuki does his yelling bit before hitting a bunch of moves. Fuyuki hits his Black Sunday Plancha onto Onita and Hido. Fuyuki with a fisherman suplex and powerbomb for two. Banana Panic for a near fall. Fuyuki reminds us he used to team with that guy who wears black and yellow and can't seem to hold the All Japan Triple Crown by putting Onita in the stretch plum. Onita strikes back with headbutts. He shows that he used to be a Jr. way back when and hits a tope on Fuyuki as TNR and ZEN fight at ringside. Onita sets up an indestructable table in the ring and piledrivers Fuyuki through it as someone holds it steady for him. Onita with a Tiger driver for two. Onita DDT for two. Fuyuki with an UN FOUL! Fuyuki goes up top, Onita superplexes him off. Thunder Fire Powerbomb for two. Fuyuki hits Onita with a board, Onita blocks the Banana Panic, but Fuyuki hits an uraken and a TF Powerbomb for two. Go Ito hits Onita with a crutch, Fuyuki TFPB for two. Fuyuki with a Banana Panic and a TFPB where he sort of dropped Onita on his shoulder for the win. Post match, TNR and ZEN brawl as we get the Nitro "ring the bell a million times to make them stop" deal go on. TNR do their dance around Onita who recovers and TFPB's Ito and DDTs Kanemura.
Double Titles Match: Hayabusa vs Mr. Gannosuke:
Prior to the match, they recap the feud between the two, including Gannosuke's return to FMW back when he wasn't a blond. This is pretty even early on until Hayabusa hits a knee cap drop kick and starts working on Gannosuke's leg with an assortment of leg locks and drops on the leg. Gannosuke catches Hayabusa running off the ropes with a wakigatame and starts working on Hayabusa's arms with arm locks. He hits a few great running side arm takedowns which drive Hayabusa's shoulder into the canvas. Hayabusa gets on the offense, hits a springboard knee cap drop kick, throws Gannosuke out to the floor, but misses a quebrada. Gannosuke lariats him over the ringside failing and rests in the ring. Gannosuke was a quasi falcon arrow and a praying powerbomb for two. Gannosuke is really favoring his leg, Hayabusa ranas out of another praying powerbomb and hits a somersault dive to the floor on Gannosuke. Busa with a slingshot leg drop and a tiger driver for twos. Hayabusa uses Gannosuke's old finisher, the hammerlock Northern Lights suplex for a two, Gannosuke catches 'Busa in a quick roll up for two. Busa with the Phoenix senton and a 450 splash for two. Falcon Arrow for another two. Hayabusa takes too long for the Phoenix Splash and gets powerbombed off the top rope. Gannosuke hits a Release German for two, but his knee doesn't let him follow up. Gannosuke hits his Fire Thunder Michinoku Driver II after two attempts but again can't go for the pin because of his knee. Gannosuke with a back suplex for two. Gannosuke goes for another Fire Thunder, but Hayabusa kicks him a few times. Gannosuke counters the kicks with a dragon screw and another Fire Thunder for a two. Gannosuke gets caught going up top and they both end up falling to the mat as Hayabusa goes for a rana. I'm not sure if it was a counter or a screw up as if it was a mess up it wasn't blantantly obvious. Gannosuke goes for a German Suplex, but Hayabusa UN FOUL!'s him. Hayabusa with a tiger suplex for two. Gannosuke kicks out at two from a Falcon Arrow. Hayabusa goes for a top rope move and things get a little sloopy as Hayabusa misses his first kick at Gannosuke, has to do it again and thus falls off the top rope. They recover. Hayabusa goes for a Dragon Suplex, Gannosuke UN FOUL!'s him and hits a powerbomb for two. Gannosuke with the Hammerlock Northern Lights Suplex for a two, as Gannosuke is only bridging with one leg. Hayabusa flips out of a suplex and drops Gannosuke on his head with a Dragon Suplex. Hayabusa hits the Phoenix Splash for the win and the double titles. This was a real good match, it went about 20 or so minutes. The down side of this is that Gannosuke was injured in the course of it (I think his knee and his neck) which put him out for a while. Which was really a bummer because Gannosuke was a great heel and a pretty good wrestler.
Overall, a mixed bag. The Double Titles match is real good and the Kanemura/Shinzaki match was pretty good. The rest you can take or leave.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ RASMUSSEN'S HIDDEN TREASURE OF 1998 $$$$$$$$$$
Goro Tsurumi/ Apollo Sugawara vs Bulldog/ Devil #1: INDY WORLD JAPAN PRO- 5/21/98: SOOOO collossally close to the Alien Death Match with Ryama Go and Silver X and aliens in overalls in sheer bizarro bafflingness. BULLDOG!?! What the hell? He looks like your Big Uncle Bill who used to move pianos for a living before his back went out. Tsurumi and Sugawara? They are to Puroresu what King Kong Bundy and Big Slam Vader are to the ECWA Super Eight Tournament. The Saving Grace to make this a true shimmering diamond in the wrestling sky: DEVIL #1, BABY! If you gotta ask, you'll NEVER know. You know, like Jazz....
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
NEXT WEEK: MORE JWP!!! THAT MINNESOTA INDIE STUFF WITH BUCK ZHUMOFF THAT I'VE BEEN BANDYING ABOUT FOR TWO MONTHS NOW! WADS OF NEW JAPAN! VADER IN JAPAN! WOO-HOO!
THE DEATH VALLEY PLAYBOYS.
She asked why my love would last for long-What in her world I base it on
I said "what a 'girl' way to relate- Throw what works fine up for debate"
And let it go-But I'll admit I didn't know- I'd assume there's some convention
To obviate the question- And move these things along
-SCOTT MILLER, THE LOUD FAMILY- world's coolest band.
