We are DVD HOLLENDAISE- Three Sexy Motherfuckers.  We will concentrate on
attempting to review the hardcore wrestling tapes that the TRUE wrestling fan is
interested in possibly viewing- as opposed endless rambling about 22 second shootfights
or four line reviews of key Jumbo Tsuruta matches.  That’ll be next week when DVD
Four Lines And Four Days Late misspells its way to your heart again.  Rev Ray- whose
cockring can be identified by Schneider’s sister’s dental records- tackles all the New and
All Japan in the world.  I continue my quest for the perfect Lucha, MP, TORYUMON~!
and that FMW that SOMEBODY (me) has to review at some point.  Pete Stein- who
would actually go out with Rippa’s mom but he can’t find enough dramamine - wistfully
takes to pre-Andre Andre, sweeet ARSION, and yet still more FMW with the pluck and
verve that we’ve come to love and admire.  But FIRST, sweeeeeeeeettt
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...

!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@! EMLL TV- 1/2/1999
(byDEAN RASMUSSEN)
This is in the continuing series of reviews as we search for the true heart of 1999 Lucha
Libre.  AAAs a’comin’....
El Satanico/ Scorpio Jr/ Mascara Ano Dos Mille vs Negro Casas/ Hector Garza/ Lizmark:
This is from the one week where WCW and EMLL actually didn’t hate each other and had
their shit together enough to actually have a talent exchange!  WOO-HOO! This is gonna
RULE!  This doesn’t start well- since it has as about a hideous rudo fall as can be
imagined.  Scorpio and Mascara Ano 2000 breaking bad and  whipping ass is as pathetic
as Hogan and Piper in one of their Blue Plate Special Street Fights that stink up your TV
screen from time to time.  This whole caida fearlessly and endlessly meanders to nowhere
as nobody seems to concentrating on anything at all except walking around and randomly
slapping each other.  El Satanico Cobra Clutches Hector Garza and it would have had
historical significance- what with El Satanico being Garza’s real break-out feud back in
1995- but this sucks too much for anyone to get overly all misty-eyed about how these
two could take it to the mat at one point.  The second caida features Sweeeet Roid-zitirific
Scorpio and Negro Casas TAKING IT TO THE MAT! for ONE whole second when
Casas hits the Immediate Fujiwara armbar (so this is REALLY not Niebla vs Blue Panther
or anything.)  Hector hits a Vic Steamboat-level flying cross bodyblock off the turnbuckle
which he turns into a preposterous submission- which would have had historical
significance if the match didn’t stink so much.  The third caida gets all promising as Garza
and Satanico take it to the mat like a good first caida should.  The dream dies quickly on
this videotape as Scorpio and Casas take the ring and do a pretty realistic impersonation of
Manabu Nakanishi vs a really REALLY roided-out Manabu Nakanishi and I no longer
want to live.  The suicide hotline was not prepared to explain the existenceof Mascara
Ano 2000 attempting to be carried by aging legend Lizmark and yet the existence of a
loving caring God, so all veiwers fall into horrendous Lucha Depression.  Garza hits a
flashy tope and immediately sprints to the phone to Eric Bischoff to request to put over
Ernest Miller or something- anything to avoid ever having to be in anything this horrible.
Mascara Ano 200 makes with the foule on Lizmark to stomp on this burning bag of
dogcrap on the front porch of Lucha Libre.

Rencor Latino/ Dr. O’Borman/ Arkangel de la Muerte vs Oriental/ Super Kendo/ Angel
Azteca: Rencor Latino and Oriental are lucha’s latest Da Bombs (and Virus too.  And
Electro Shock in AAA from what I hear from reliable sources).  Dr. O’Borman has the
greatest mask in the history of the universe:  all white with the AMA insignia embossed
across the front; TOTALLY KING-SIZED.  Oriental and O’Borman TAKE IT TO THE
MAT! with O’Borman hitting a freaky lucha kneebar that Oriental counters out of with a
super weirdo fast-as-living-hell cool-ass rolling kneebar- as lucha shootstyle takes over the
ring, so they go to straight old school rapid lucha reversals to a stalemate.  I get the
feeling this is gonna be one of those EMLL old school masterpieces.  HELL! I now
KNOW it’s gonna be a frickin materpiece because ARKmotherfuckingANGEL~~~~!!
enters the goddam ring.  ARKANGEL~! is one the best motherfucking luchadores in the
whole motherfucking world and he and Super Kendo go to the ground like champs and
it’s all ankle-lock intensive until ARKANGEL~!- who is sporting the SUPERSWANK red
outlined mask- decides to get all judo-throwy to reinforce the “MMA meets the
Niebla-lock” synthesis of the match.  Rencor enters the ring and I await the sweet,
horrible, horrible death- instead, Angel Azteca (who I had forgotten about in a fit of
insanity) hits a fucking BEAUTIFUL standing somersault armdrag that just fucking ruled
it in such a graceful old school way that the lucha boy deep in my soul wept loves easy
tears.  Rencor gets out of the caida by very mildly killing himself with a lower level
Violencia bump.  Oriental then hits him with a tricky roll-up and we are on to.... Caida
Two!: The deeper stories all get told in this caida.  Super Kendo does all those Comedy
Joke Spots that you got tired of the second time you saw them in Michinoku Pro.  In
response to the hackneyed Kendo comedy spots, Arkangel rolls on the ground and points
to his dick out of spite.  The second big and beautiful story of the caida is when Oriental
and Rencor Latino get in the ring.  Oriental hits his most beautiful spot- a Misterio
Shoulder-Float-Around Armdrag but Oriental tricks it out all kingsize-like by overrotating
when gets around Rencor’s shoulder to be dragged and gets completely vertical before
snapping off the armdrag- in a move that looked as breathtaking as the first time I ever
saw Volador do a full-extension sliding armdrag.  Oriental does a baseball slide into a
headscissors to the floor on Rencor and here’s where the coolness of the caida kicks in.
Angel Azteca decides to not be one-upped by the new school hotshot and immediately hits
the FUCKING AWWWWWESOME springboard head scissors into the middle of the ring
on O’Borman.  Angel has just smoked the youngster by replacing speed with grace,
danger with dynamicsand incase you forgot, EMLL motherfucking rules.  Angel gets all
quebradora on O’Borman’s ass.  From there the stories give way to O’Borman and
Rencor Latino killing Oriental with an El Flapjack to set up Arkangel’s very Phat Ass
Senton.  Arkangel then gets Angel Azteca in a Stretch Plum variation (hahahahaha!  I kid
the Arkangel because he rules!...)  The third caida is all rudorific and Dr O’Borman comes
off as a more talented El Gladiador until Arkangel augments Rencor Latino tapping out
Angel Azteca by killing the fudge outta Oriental with a Liger Bomb.  The first two caida’s
are REAL choice.  The third caida is quite perfunctory but doesn’t take away from the
beauty of the first two falls.

Rey Bucanero Jr/ Villano III/ Zumbido vs Ringo Mendoza/ HOY!/ Olimpico: Olympico
and Villano III (who isn’t real fat like I thought I remembered) hit the mat with hot lucha
action.  Villano III is the guy who showed Benoit the secrets of Lucha (along with Blue
Panther) so this is tangly, grapply fun early on- though you may want to get all those
UWA tapes to see Villano III in his prime, as opposed to this slightly lethargic version.
Either way, it’s old guy lucha stretching at its best.  HOY! - who has the cool
ANTIFAZ~!esque blue outfit and who I thought was Fray Tormenta Junior at first- and
Bucanero- who is sporting the kick ass black mask with silver eyepatch-  do lots of neato
bow and arrow variations that ascend to lucha leg submissions.  Ringo Mendoza- who is
older than all fudge- and Zumbido- who has a KING-SIZED mullet, much akin to the
mullet DVD Foghat Naimark had while he was president of the Tennessee chapter of the
Billy Ray Cyrus Achy Breaky Fanclub, but who cut it off after that unfortunate guest
appearance on COPS in MEMPHIS (I think he also got rid of the sweatpants, but who
can sure)- run the ropes for a few seconds before Ringo’s bersitis kicks in and Zumbido
figures out that he hasn’t gone forty-five seconds without EATING HOT DEATH so he
basically slaughters himself with a highgrade Psicosis bump over the turnbuckle to the
floor while selling Ringo’s truly pathetic dropkick in the corner.  Ringo feigns a tope, but
give us a break, old man.  Olympico goes armdrag and dropkick crazy on Villano III
before feigning a tope and this match is starting from the ground and hit the air at a very
steady pace- like all good EMLL traditional matches tend to do.  FIRST IMPRESSION!:
HOY!- who has a very “Tienblas Jr, not very good but not vomiting on my shoes” feel to
him- does some of the slowest headscissors and armdrags in ALLLLLL loocha leebra!
Rey says, “Fuck it” and fakes a foule to get the hell out of the ring.  Olympico and
Zumbido offer the promise of sweet sweet death but instead they opt for a fruity twisty
elbow drop by the increasingly RULING Zumbido.  Ringo whips out the sundry lucha
submission on Rey, HOY! procures the Texas Cloverleaf on Zumbido, and Olympico SO
doesn’t kill Villano with a loving quebradora on Villano for kicks and we call our first
caida- QUITE PERFUNCTORY.  Second Caida: SECOND IMPRESSION!: OH WAIT!
HOY! fucking rules!  He and Zumbido take it to the air and HOY! does the Niebla rope
bounce into a big flip out of a suplex attempt into a springboard counter-balance head
scissors!  Rudo caida kicks in and it’s pretty good because they really beat the shit out of
Ringo Mendoza- which we can all get behind.  The third caida is rudorific and a bit listless
at first, but then Rey starts powerbombing HOY! all over the place and it gets all fun as
HOY! gets a cool ass side rolling leg submission to eliminate Rey and then takes a
midgrade bump as Villano dropkicks him through the ropes.  Ringo gets Zumbido in a
crappy Octapus Hold but Villano foules the hell out of Olympico and does the greatest
rudo “laying on the beach reading a novel” cover ever for the win.  No real death, no
overly nifty matwork, no cool stories within the ring, the third caida is: RIGHT THERE
IN THE MIDDLE.

Overall, this is EMLL so it rules and all, but you can find better examples- though I really
dug the Oriental/Angel Azteca goodness.
 

@!@!@!@!@!@ ARSION "ZION" TOURNAMENT COMM TAPE (8-31-98, Tokyo)
(byPOGO PETE STEIN!)
This is Arsion's second major tournament of the year; the winner goes on to face Candy
Okutsu to determine the first "Queen Of Arsion" champion.  One of the things I love is
that they actually keep track of the wrestlers' singles records... maybe they could run
Arsion like a sports league where they hold playoffs at the end and someone has to win on
the last night of the season in order to make the playoffs.  Or something like that.

THE UNDERCARD: FABY APACHE (#11; 3-17) vs. LADY METAL (#12; 3-15):
Oofah!  Gran Apache (better known as AAA rudo machine "Apache") is the special ref for
this match.  He trained all of the ARSION Mexico luchadoras, and the fact that his
moonsault during his intro was the best thing in the match should speak volumes.
Thankfully they keep it REAL short, as Faby pins Metal with Tormento Apache (read:
freaky roll-up hold) inside of 3 minutes.

THE UNDERCARD: MIKA AKINO (#13; 0-9) vs. AJA KONG (#1; 11-1-2):
Akino jumps Aja at the bell with a dropkick; Aja comes back and whips her to the ropes,
but Akino comes back with a rana for 2.5 and follows with a missile dropkick for 2.75.
Aja's selling her ass off early, but "early" is relative as Aja comes back when she catches
Akino going for a front victory roll and reverses it into a wheelbarrow suplex.  Akino gets
up, at which point Aja OBLITERATES her with a lariat for the pin at :54.  About what
you'd expect but they did a great job of teasing the upset by Akino, who looks like she has
a ton of potential.

TOURNAMENT ZION '98 1ST ROUND: AYAKO "Super Rookie" HAMADA (#14;
0-1) vs. MARI "Genius Luchadora" APACHE (#10; 6-5-3):  Ayako is damn good for
someone who's wrestling her second match ever.  You don't suppose her dad was working
with her on the side, do ya?  And I'm still trying to figure out how Ayako turned out to be
such a babe while big sister Xochitl is a total heifer.  Anyhoo, both Ayako and Mari dust
off their "Death For Your Pleasure" spots as Mari lands back-first trying for a tope con
hilo while Ayako smashes her leg on the guardrail as she hits an Asai moonsault on Mari
later in the match.  Ayako takes the match with her "Ayakita" submission (sort of a flying
bodyscissors into an Octagon Special) at 9:27.  Good if green match with some hot spots.
Ayako will definitely be a player barring injury, and Mari has these awesome boots with
"LOVE" down the sides.

TOURNAMENT ZION '98 1ST ROUND: RIE "Fighting Cheetah" TAMADA (#4; 6-8-4)
vs. MIKIKO "Lady of 1,000 Holds" FUTAGAMI (#3; 15-4-2): Kind of an ehh match.
Tamada spends most of the match working over the leg of Futagami, who returns the
favor by working over Tamada's arm.  Problem here is that to me Tamada is about the
least interesting of Arsion's talent, and even though Futagami's really turned her career
around for the better with the jump it was hard to get into.  Futagami with a wakigatamae
at 13:46.

TOURNAMENT ZION '98 1ST ROUND: MICHIKO "Fighting Venus" OMUKAI (#5;
4-10-1) vs. YUMI "Dynamite Mini" FUKAWA (#6; 5-13-1): <SLAP!><SLAP!>
Handshake.  HEY NOW!  Good, fast-paced match, although the crowd's just this side of
"comatose" for what's going on.  Omukai's another one who's benefitted from the change
of scenery, as she's gone the kicker route and can really lay them in since she has such a
huge height advantage over most everyone in the group.  Her height also leads to some
amazing visuals when she hits bridged German suplexes on the dimunitive Fukawa.  After
teasing an upset when Fukawa gets an anklelock on Omukai on in the center of the ring
that Omukai spends almost two minutes trying to fight her way out of, Omukai comes
back with two rolling solebutt kicks and gets the pin at 9:50.

TOURNAMENT ZION '98 1ST ROUND: REGGIE "The Power of USA" BENNETT
(#8; 17-1-3) vs. MARIKO "Arsion True Heart" YOSHIDA (#2; 18-1-3): Riiiiight, like I
could make these nicknames up.  Y'all know that if I was doing them, it'd be names like
Yumi "18 Cents Change In Those Pockets" Fukawa or Reggie "No Kitty, It's My Pot Pie"
Bennett. OK match here, with Reg working over Yoshida's leg while Yoshida tries for a
flash submission on Reg.  My one real beef with this match is that the ref has that
annoying habit of slowing way down just as he's about to make a three-count, which
results in Yoshida getting "saved" a few times.  Reg winds up hitting her Clover Bomb
and goes up top for a splash, but she takes way too long and Yoshida ducks out of the
way.  After the two trade anklelocks Reg tries to go for a belly-to-back suplex on
Yoshida, but she rolls through and gets a cross-armbreaker for the tap at 10:49.

TOURNAMENT ZION '98 SEMIFINAL: AYAKO HAMADA vs. MIKIKO
FUTAGAMI:  Futagami's dropped her kicker boots for this one, going instead to the Air
Jordan sneakers.  Ayako shows some fire by slapping Futagami, and she pulls off a
swinging DDT that the phrase "WHOMP-ASS~!" was meant for.  After Ayako ducks out
of the way of Futagami's abise giri early, she comes back off the ropes with a rana.
Futagami rolls through into a sunset flip, but Ayako flips Futagami back so her shoulders
are down... and gets the upset pin at 4:39!  Holy crap!  Futagami kind of laughs it off in
her post-match interview, but methinks she'll be wearing the kicker boots for the rematch.

TOURNAMENT ZION '98 SEMIFINAL: MICHIKO OMUKAI vs. MARIKO
YOSHIDA: Omukai spends the match working over Yoshida with some rude kicks, so
Yoshida retaliates by going after Omukai's legs.  Yoshida's "spider" motif is actually kind
of cool for a mat wrestler when you consider her crawling all over her opponents like a
spider trying to get them to submit.  Or maybe I think too much.  Anyway, Omukai winds
up going for her rolling solebutt one time too many and misses, at which point Yoshida
cranks on an anklelock.  Omukai gets a rope-break, but Yoshida drags her back into the
middle and gets an armbreaker.  Omukai continues to fight, so Yoshida converts the hold
into a choke while still holding onto the arm and Omukai finally taps at 7:59.  Good
match.

Debut press conference and training footage leads into:
'98 FINAL SUMMER FANTASY: TIGER DREAM (#15) vs. HIROMI YAGI (#16):
Yagi attacks Candy^H^H^H^H^H^HTiger before the intros, but TD sends her to the floor
with a kick and the ref restrains Yagi.  THEN the announcer enters the ring to do the
intros.  That was...different.  Match is nothing to speak of early, as Candy's not used to the
gimmick yet and blows a bunch of spots... then again, so did that Liger guy when he
debuted back in '89.  She gets better fast, pulling off Sayama's tiger spin and mortals with
nary a hitch.  Yagi soon gets frustrated and tries to rip off the mask- "Hey Yagi, it's me!
Remember the Hi-Chans?  Lay off!"  Yagi looks to have the win with a sweet fisherman
suplex, but Tiger kicks out at 2.  Yagi then goes for a tiger suplex, but Tiger reverses it
into one of her own and gets the pin at 11:03.  Postmatch Yagi jumps her again and we
get a pull-apart.  FWIW Tiger uses the same music Ultimo Dragon came out to on the
"Skydiving J" and "J*Crown" shows... that "She's got a secret" song.

TOURNAMENT ZION '98 FINAL: AYAKO HAMADA vs. MARIKO YOSHIDA:
Ayako gets heat early by pasting Yoshida with a flurry of elbows and then almost hooking
the Ayakita after Yoshida charges her, but Yoshida quickly converts it into an STF.  They
tease another upset with a great sequence where Yoshida goes for an armbreaker, only for
Ayako to roll through it, spin around and get a backslide on Yoshida who just barely
hooks the middle rope for the save at 2.99.  Yoshida comes back with a released German
suplex on Ayako, then decides that it's been a long enough night and gives Ayako two
straight Air-Raid Crashes for the pin and tournament at 7:39.  Hey, when DirecTV
presents her with a satellite dish does that mean she wins a free subscription for life?

Overall quite an OK show, although the format didn't do anything for me... their regular
shows are really the way to go.  Still, this had its moments.
 

@#@#@#@@# NEW JAPAN PRO-WRESTLING 1/4/99 Tokyo Dome
(byREV RAY)
The show opens with clips of the Onita Invasion of the show in November and the
interviews leading up to the match with Sasaki at the Dome.  New Japan seems to have
rolled out some new opening graphics for this show.

Kensuke Sasaki v. Atsushi Onita :  This match is kind of like Phil Schneider's mom :  Best
viewed with a bag over your head.  Onita comes out with a chair, smoking a cigarette and
dressed like the japanese Brooklyn Brawler.  Sasaki goes right at him and gets the chair
broken over his head.  Of course, there's just one problem... Sasaki decides he's not going
to sell anything.  This isn't like Kobashi or Toyota goofy selling, this is Sasaki decides he
isn't selling shit so even the slightest chance of this match working is thrown right out the
window.  Onita does get Sasaki to sell long enough to set up the world's worst piledriver
through a table as you more or less see Onita falling on his hip to break it.  Sasaki
continues to beat on Onita until Onita throws a fireball on his face.  Of course, Sasaki sells
this like he was eating grapefruit and he accidentally had juice squirt in his eye.  Sasaki
beats up Onita some more before the seconds hold him back.  Sasaki yells something at
Onita who walks down the aisle and falls down once.  Onita is greeted with assorted cups
of soda and other garbage.  Onita falls down once more near the exit and more or less
crawls to the back.  I guess the gunman on the grassy knoll got him.  This I'm sure was to
build all that heat for the big Onita/Chono match... WTF?  In other news, recently Onita
passed his tests to attend high school so he can get his diploma.  I applaud him for this.
Maybe now he'll be able to get a job outside of wrestling.  Remember kids, stay in school,
you don't want to turn out like Phil Scheinder.  Collecting unemployment and food stamps
is not a career.

Naoya Ogawa v. Shinya Hashimoto :  You'd think with a cool name like UFO, they'd
come up with some grandiose entrance for these guys, like stealing the set from ELO's
Out Of the Blue tour, but they don't.  Ogawa yells some smack at Hashimoto as he comes
to the ring, probably requesting he perform "Burnin' Love" tonight. Each exchange starts
with them throwing kicks and punches at each other with Hash pushing Ogawa into a
corner.  On the third time, Tiger Hittori, the ref, tries to break it up and gets on the
receiving end of a chop to the face by Hashimoto.  Ogawa starts elbowing Hashmoto in
the back, gets him in the mount and punches away before hitting the cross armbreaker,
which Hashimoto rope saves out of.  They tie up again and end up in the ropes, Tiger goes
to break it up, but Hashmoto kicks him this time.  Hashimoto goes down and gets
backmounted, but he escapes the choke, rolls to his back and escapes a keylock wristlock.
Ogawa stomps away on Hashimoto and kicks him out to the ramp where he seconds
check on him. All of a sudden, we've got fights breaking out between the seconds.  The
bell rings, I assume counting out or DQing Hashmoto. Ogawa celebrates by doing the Eric
Bischoff "I'm flying!" move around the ring.  He gets the mic and yells out some more
shit, which sounds goofy because his mouth peice is still in.  Of course, the New Japan
crew take acception to this as Nakanishi gets in Ogawa's face (I bet Judo boy is
REEEEEAL scared.)  So now we've got both groups in the ring, with a lot of trash talking
and shoving going on when Choshyu hits the ring (and kicks a camera man out of the way
before getting in the ring, I'm not joking).  After a stare down, Ogawa leaves, but a fight
breaks out when Ohara throws a punch at Tiger Mask, leading to a brawl on the floor.
Ogawa gets back in the ring and Choshyu throws a few punches at him.  The crew have to
come back to restrain him as now he wants a piece of Ogawa.  Dean loved this angle, I
was sort of indifferent about it, but it was fun watching guys like Ohara, Nakanishi and
Yasuda getting up in the face of all the shooter guys.
 

$%$%$%$%$%$ FRONTIER MARTIAL ARTS WRESTLING- BEST BOUTS
COMMERCIAL TAPE 1998. PART TWO
(byDEAN RASMUSSEN)
DVD Foghat hippyboy Schnieder reviewed a whopping TWO matches from this tape a
couple of months ago- a tape that I think may be pinnacle of the promotion from a
ringwork standpoint- but you know Freak Freely Phil “the Phil Zone” Schneider, he was
going to review the rest but the sweet huka was calling his name and he had a that new
re-issue of Tarkus by Emerson, Lake and Palmer that Naimark came across while
searching for the missing pieces of his Hoyt Axton Sings Porter Wagner record collection.
So while Starchild Schneider is pondering his petuli soaked blow-up B-Bomb Manami
Toyota doll, I’ma say Garciya later and go ahead and review this baby.

Masato Tanaka vs Hayabusa:  This is to unify the Independent and Brass Knuckles
Championship belts- which are a lot of cool concepts all mushed together so I’m
sufficiently STOKED.  On this tape, this follows the SWANK Gannosuke vs Shinzaki
match- which may be the best match in FMW’s history, which is covering a lot of ground,
despite what those who don’t actually ever WATCH FMW will tell you.  Whereas
Gannesuke and Shinzaki played off the cool basis of what FMW has incorporated into
their actual wrestling matches- All Japan Lite psycholgy, well-executed dangerous moves,
neato abhorrent angles, tasteful garbage elements incorporated with sensitivity to the final
product and ass-stompingly HIDEOUS highspots done with verve and gusto, this one is
differently good- in that Hayabusa tries to force the straight All Japan psychology into
FMW and has converted Tanaka to the cause.  What it makes is a REALLY good
lower-tier All Japan style match, but it misses out on the cool things that FMW has to
offer that All Japan won’t offer.  Anyway, this starts off all lucha with running of the ropes
into armdrags into cool leg submissions and armbars.  They quickly switch to US Pro-style
as they start working off the headlock and armbar until Hayabusa gets a chinlock to end
this little foray.  Hayabusa tries to run the ropes and Masato Tanaka fearlessly rips Haya’s
knee apart with a dropkick.  Masato follows up with a SWANK springboard lariat while
Haya is on the apron and Haya dies quite the pleeaassing death on the way to being
dragged into the ring for Tanaka to rip the knee up some more with extended kneebars
and kneedrops on the knee. KNEE!  Into the figure four.  My favorite part so far in the
match- past the springboard lariat- is both of these guys smacking the hell out of each
while Haya is in the Figure-four.  A hurty Mexican ceiling hold later and Hayabusa hits his
first offensive transition with a JUDO!!!! flip and starts drop kicking Tanaka’s elbow-
which Haya had been working on in the US Pro-style section (Key lock, the whole shpiel.)
After a pump handle, Tanaka tries to counter out with a Roaring Elbow and he can’t
achieve the effect because it’s all busted up (psychology!) so more Haya pump-handles are
forthcoming.  At this point of the match, I notice how much I love how they got Tanaka’s
Elbow Smash over so they can ape the basic psychology of Misawa/Kawada matches.
Tanaka gets back on offense after suffering through a wristlock and a few dropkicks to the
elbow when he turns a springboard SOMETHING by Haya into a fat ass powerslam.
Haya sells the Tornado Ace Crusher all goofy so he can fall into position for Tanaka’s
Hamada-esque Spinning DDT-  which is a pretty awkward spot set-up for such a cool
match between two guys who are as on fire as these two.  Haya reverses a toprope
SOMETHING into a toprope released German Suplex and goes back to the dropkicks to
the elbow but varies from the elbow to throw in the Tope Con Hilo- just to keep the
faithful on their toes.  And it still rocks after all these years (coming in behind Sasuke,
SHOCKER~! and the new kid on the TCH block- Chavo Guerrerro Jr.).  From here they
go into the kick out of a thousand secondary finishers- which is really cool because both
these guys are well-oiled suplex machines.  The coolest, nastiest is Tanaka’s Samurai
Brainbuster from the toprope DIRECTLY on the top of Hayabusa’s head- which looked
like it caused Hayabusa to forgot major aspects of his childhood.  It’s quite the bigtime
move and propels the match into the stomp ass sections as Tanaka hits the fucking
KING-SIZED Running Death Valley Bomb that kills the living hell out of Hayabusa.
After the THIRD TFPB (that part they ain’t exagerrating about when they disparage the
FMW real workers.), he hits another- in the second big flaw of the match- and Haya whips
out the NASTY Released Dragon Suplex into a Falcon Arrow.  I think they are basically
trying to get the Elbow Is The Only Finisher That Will Work thing going but Hayabusa
being in it makes one still harkens back to a NJ Junior match where they do all this stuff
just for kicks.  TFPB 4! And then the Kobashi no-sell into a lariat but replace it with an
elbow and retain the suck of the spot. YIKES!  Hayabusa blocks the elbow Kawada-style
and does a weak shotay. Tanaka responds with a reverse Brainbuster and a loses the
elbow pad for the Roaring Elbow but Hayabusa counters it into a Tiger Driver ‘91 and hit
a Falcon Arrow for the pin.  This was really good and REALLY hot in places but I think
these two should have opted for the New Japan Cool-Ass Simple Story Is The Best Story
Thesis, since they they looked real comfortable with this when the story was Hayabusa is
trying to break Tanaka’s arm and Tanaka is trying to destroy Hayabusa’s leg- good in
terms of selling and putting together cool, legitimate-looking series of moves.  I also think
that they don’t quite have the depth of psychologically to pull off what they wanted to do,
though it is cool that they are taking a shot at and should be able to pull it off in a couple
years.  I mean, it took Taue FOREVER to become a true master of the style so it’s early
yet.  Also Tanaka needs to look more deadly with the elbow and should probably stick to
his ass-stomping running Death Valley Bomb as his True Finisher.  Hayabusa should
switch to his NASTY Dragon Suplex because it mauls the Falcon Arrow like a bear killing
a goat.  Good match but overshoots what they are capable at the present time and ignored
a lot of things that make FMW one of the coolest promotions on earth.  You should still
see the match, though it is a little spotty.

Hayabusa/ Masato Tanaka vs Gedo/Jado:  Once upon a time, back in 1994, Gedo looked
just as promising as Masato Tanaka.  The big push in WAR, the endless forays into
Liger’s realm of New Japan, the whole burgeoning Japanese Indie scene.  Meanwhile,
Tanaka was just starting to come out of Onita’s shadow and show that he could be the
best worker in the promotion (and then Gannesuke came out from under Goto’s shadow
and snaked that title away in one of the weirdest great runs on Japanese Indie history).
Look at them now- Tanaka poised for superstardom as a cornerstone in a rock solid batch
of good to great workers in FMW and Gedo now poised to suck as Fuyuki’s lackey for
the remainder of his august career.  Anyway, Gedo loves the USA- stylistically- so I’ve
never had a problem with him OVERTLY, but he is about as inconsistent as anyone in the
indie scene whose name isn’t Orihara.  This match is part of the very slow comeback by
Gedo into the hearts of International fans as he has  been on a warm streak since the
surprisingly good showing at the Big Japan Junior Tournament.  Here he is quite the US
wrestler again in every good way- he sells well and he plays heel well, making all of
Tanaka’s and Hayabusa’s offense look even cooler than it is.  Gedo is really at home with
the beefy power moves of Tanaka- as he does lots of cool counters and cool sells of
Tanak’s big moves.  The body of the mat is basic 80’s tag team wrestling in terms of all
the double-teaming, but isn’t Southern at all because there is never any HEAT
SEGMENTS! and it stays pretty much in the realm of Puroresu
My-Finisher-Will-Kill-You-Faster-Than-Yours-Will-Kill-Me style as this is quite the
parade of hurty power wrestling with highflying flourishes by Hayabusa to break up all the
elbows, suplexes and lariats.  Gedo is growing on me (and I can’t seem rid of him!)  This
was quite the good tag match- because Tanaka is feeling it and Gedo is good at keeping
the feeling.  FEEL IT!  Jado is once again quite the non-factor in this baby.

Hayabusa/ Masato Tanaka vs Fuyuki/ Kanemura: Fuyuki is the fattest man in the world.
Kanemura is the pasty blood-sucking freak who decided a little later in his career that he
should actually be a good wrestler after all the blood-letting is done.  Here Fuyuki and
Tanaka do annoying NJ Heavyweight tests of shoulderblocks a whole lot.  Kanemura and
Tanaka can muster enough disdain to make the first part watchable and then it kicks into
full brawl as Tanaka is BOSSly powerbombed to the floor through a table and Hayabusa
takes a Fat Man Chairshot.  Tanaka gets all carved up by Kanemura as they do the Things
To Do With Tables In Wrestling Spots as Kanemura really starts kicking Tanaka’s ass all
over the ring.  Tanaka is halfway to a Carlos Colon Bladosity when Kanemura breaks the
seat out of a chair over young Masato’s head.  Kanemura then throws the tabvle onto
Masato’s head and Tanaka is quite the bloody mess.  Fuyuki waddles in and hits a
Fisherman Suplex and tags out.  Kanemura then hits a nasty springboard double knee to
the breadbasket.  After a Fuyuki Bomb, Fuyuki falls deeply under the spell of wishful
thinking by procuring the Stretch Plum.  Hayabusa luckily breaks up to save the old man
further embarrassment and any other reason to examine the wildly divergent career paths
the Footloose took.  After the hot tag to Tanaka after the world shortest HEAT
SEGMENT! by Hayabusa, Tanaka starts killing the hell out of Kanemura with elbows and
Kanemura beats out Gedo’s freaked out sell of the Tanakalariat and the match kicks into
full finisher mode.  Firebird, the entirely shitty Fuyuki Shotgun Lariat, Kanemura’s Macho
Elbow after Fuyuki’s Tenryu-esque Powerbomb, Kanemura’s
whack-on-the-head-with-a-board into a Phat Ass Toprope Senton/Elbow Drop combo for
the win for the New Footloose.  Fuyuki isn’t a total load but he doesn’t help any match
with three guys of this calibre.  This was good just because Kanemura as the Pasty
Ass-kicker is such a compelling thing.  Fuyuki ain’t no Gannesuke though and this showed
it.

Ricky Fuji vs Gedo: Ricky Fuji won me over as a singer with his BIZZARRE number he
does on the Story of F (that’ll get reviewed before MAY!!) with the all gal band.  I
freaked out.  As for this match, it was Gedo wrestling Ricky Fuji.  You can do the math.

Tetsuhiro Kuroda vs Masato Tanaka: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?  WHEN, I say WHEN did
Tetsuhiro Kuroda get THIS good?  This was the third best match on the tape behind the
two Gannesuke singles matches.  Kuroda looks like quite the Akiyama to the FMW big
four and he frickin’ ROCKS in this match.  This whole match was filled with lots of
innovative moves- a few of which really stick out:  Tanaka’s Brainbuster into an Ace
Crusher, the Kuroda Variation on the Finlay/Fuji Fireman’s Carry Rollthrough that
Kuroda does by holding his opponent as if he was doing a belly-to-belly suplex.  The
brawling through the crowd was fun as each sprawled like MEN through the chairs.  The
body of the match was a lot of good matworkd that led to a super great finisher-a-thon-
with Kuroda giving as good as he was taking with the Machine that is Masato Tanaka.
The only bad point was when Kuroda hits a NASTY released German and Tanaka does
the Kobashi-Misawa no-sell into the lariat- which pissed me off for a while.  I get over it
thought as they go deeper into a GREAT GREAT extended nearfalls sequence with the
superswank Kuroda Locomotion Dragon Suplexes that HAD to suck.  Tanaka finally kills
him with the elbow but Kuroda surprised the hell out of me.  This guys good.

Kanemura vs Gladiator:  I was hoping it was Gladiador and we’d get a mediocre
luchadore pointing to his dick a lot and yelling to the crowd.  Instead we get Mike
Awesome freakin’ KILLING YoshiW*ING Kanemura dead as hell with a running
powerbomb off the apron through a table which was the hurtiest looking bump I’ve seen
in a while.  The match itself is kinda okay for the most part- as these two have never been
able to put it together against each other as well as they have against other guys in FMW,
but the highspots are pretty awesome.  Awesome’s Springboard plancha and toprope
double axe-handle to the floor explain the lack of knees in the talented and problematic
Gladiator, but I’m trying to figure out all the damage that Kanemura acquired when he
landed 100% wrong after being Black Tiger Bombed off the toprope for the pin.  It’s
entertaining because Kanemura is REALLY not afraid to die for your pleasure- and we
found it pleasing- but the match itself didn’t work towards the ghastly highspots very well.
Still well worth a watch if your up for seeing how far folks ul go to entertain ME.

This tape rules.  GET ALLLLLL THIS.
 

!@!@!@!@!@!@ ALL JAPAN TV -  1/99
(byREV RAY!)
The show starts out with showing the highlights of the annual All Japan battle royal.  Of
course, the highlight of this always goofy event is the fact that Vader goes apeshit and
busts open Kenta's eye and punches out a window in the locker room.

Double Tag Titles match :  Akira Taue/Toshiaki Kawada v. Kenta Kobashi/Jun Akiyama :
Joined in progress, Jun and Kenta work on Kawada's legs with a scorpion death lock and a
clover leaf respectively.  Kenta pulls out a knee breaker and a half crab which he breaks
after Capt. Stoic threatens to come in lay an emotionless beating on him.  Jun works on
the leg with a toe hold which Kawada fights out of with a cross armbreaker attempt.
Kawada eventually escapes the beatings with an enzugiri on Kobashi and tags to Taue
who goes right after Kobashi's taped up eye, throwing him to the floor and DDTing him
on the floor.  Taue continues with chops and stomps, holds Kobashi in the corner for
Kawada to kick him in the face.  Kawada drops knees right to the eye, Kobashi rolls to the
floor, so Taue slams his face into a table, which tips over under Kenta's bulk.  Kawada
does a kick to Kenta's face and then knocks Jun off the apron.  Kobashi fights off both
guys and tags to Jun who comes in like a house o' far.  They do an exchange where Taue
and Jun fight over the nodowa and the exploder, which ends with a Taue DDT.  Kawada
sets up Jun for a powerbomb, but Kobashi saves him, so he eats double high kicks and
then Jun gets the in the corner.  Akiyama gets pummeled for a bit between Kawada's
jumping roundhouse, Taue's High Kick and a powerbomb.  Kawada gets Akiyama in the
stretch plum as Taue holds off Kenta on the floor with an abdominal stretch.  Akiyama
kicks out at two.  Jumping roundhouse gets a two before Kenta saves.  Kawada puts the
kicks to his head, but Kenta Bulks up, er, Hulks up and drops him with a lariat.  Both men
tag, Taue hits Kobashi with the face first chokeslam and hits the Dynamic Bomb for two.
Taue teases the chokeslam off the apron, but Akiyama saves Kenta from that, but not a
DDT into the apron.  Taue covers for a two.  Taue gets another two on a running hgih
kick.  Kenta fights out of the chokeslam, hits a spinning chop, Akiyama hits the exploder.
Back Suplex/Powerbomb gets a two on Taue.  Kobashi moonsault gets a two.  Goofy
segment where both guys sort of no sell each other but both go down to a double lariat.
One more lariat cements the win as Akiyama holds off Kawada.  If you get past some of
the usual Kenta goofiness, this was actually pretty cool.  The injured eye becomes the
focus of the match and is great way for Taue and Kawada to get easy heat with the crowd.
 

@#@#@#@#@ FRONTIER MARTIAL-ARTS WRESTLING COMM TAPE,
12/8/1993, Tokyo (Harumi Dome?)
(byPOGO PETE!)
Tape starts out by condensing the first five matches into, oh, 90 seconds of highlights.
Props to FMW for skipping the Mr. Chin/AJW midgets, women scrubs and Pogo's cronies
10-man tag match, but did they have to skip the M-Pro with baby Taka, Naniwa and
SATO too?  Take the good with the bad, I guess.

SHARK TSUCHIYA/CRUSHER MAEDOMARI vs. AJA KONG/KYOKO INOUE:
Shark and Crusher are weapon-less and haven't reached the "despicable" stage as
described by Hollendaise-ite Rev Ray yet; Kyoko is still a few years off from picking up
the Tokyo franchising rights to Krispy Kremes.  Aja has WAY too much fun at Shark's
expense, no-selling everything and then just killing her dead with a brain-melting
lariat-cum-uraken.  Kyoko's somewhat more willing to sell for the Militia, but after a
couple of minutes she gets bored, hits her corner elbow on Shark and tags in Aja who
misses a top-rope splash.  Crusher comes in to help out with a double-whip, but Aja
comes back with a cross-body and plants Shark with a backdrop for the pin in just over 2
minutes of highlights.  Postmatch Aja gets goofier than Liger in a high-profile match as
she blows mist, gives Shark a crotch-thrust, then runs around and goes down on all fours
in the Headhunter pose while the then-pixieish Kyoko stands over her and gives Crusher a
cheeky smile.  Crusher's look of "How I LOATHE you..." while this is going on may be
the best thing she's ever done.  Worth seeing for the post-match and the look of supreme
boredom on Aja's face during the match proper, even while the Militia are double-teaming
her... it's like she was thinking about her fishing date with Misawa.

BULL NAKANO vs. COMBAT TOYOTA: Bull isn't in the mood for selling much either,
as she wastes no time calling for the nunchakus and pasting Combat with them.  She
powerbombs Combat and hits the guillotine legdrop but Combat kicks out at 2.  Bull goes
back up top but Combat meets her there and plants Bull with a backdrop for 2.  This is all
from the 5-minute mark for those of you scoring at home (or even if you're by yourself
*cough Schneider*).  Combat gets an Awesome Bomb for 2, goes up top but misses a
frog splash.  Bull goes for her lariat; Combat catches her and tries another powerbomb,
but Bull slips behind and lariats her, slams her, goes up top and hits the rolling guillotine
for the pin at around 6 minutes.  Bull shakes Combat's hand afterwards and is lucky not to
get a bloody stump coming back.  I mean, Combat's the number-two woman in the group!
I guess Bull would've needed 7 or 8 minutes to take out Kudo, huh?

DAMIAN 666 vs. THE GREAT SASUKE, Independent World Junior Heavyweight title:
A shiny, brand-new penny to anyone who can make sense out of the editing done by the
family of chimps FMW apparently used back in 1993.  "HA HA HA!" <edit>. Damian
catches Sasuke, "HA HA HA!" <edit>.  Damian uses cane on Sasuke and works on his
mask <edit>.  Damian with a tope- con-hilo and a Moe poke to Sasuke's eyes, but Sasuke
makes a quick comeback with a handspring headbutt off the ropes to send Damian outside
then follows up with the Sasuke Special <edit>.  Near-falls sequence, then Sasuke runs to
the ropes and hits an in-ring quebrada on Damian for the pin to keep the title.  No Damian
impressions, only one fit... let's call the whole thing off.

DR. LOOSER/DR. HANIBAL vs. SABU/THE SHEIK: Sabu:  "Hey Unk, you OK?"
Sheik: "I'm fine, Terry!  You go have fun with Dr. Looser- I'm having some problems
getting my fork unstuck from Hanibal's forehead, but he's helping me out with that.  Say,
did I ever tell you about the time Abby chased me up onto the NTV camera stand back in
'81 and I-" Sabu: "That's OK, Unk!  Watch me kill myself missing the plancha to the table
on the floor!  WHEEEE-OOOOOF!!!" Sheik:  "All right, sounds like you don't need any
help- HEY!  How'd you let Lecter pin you off of the face-plant onto the chair?!?!  Take
that!   <SMACK> Now go toast that other table while I scream your name into the house
mic!  Sabu:  "OK Unk, if I have to..." <THUD>  Sheik:  "What?  It didn't break?  Well,
you'll just have to do it again!"  The scariest thing about this match is that Sheik reminds
me physically of a LESS-demented version of my grandfather.

MEGUMI KUDO vs. TAKAKO INOUE:  Takako drew the shortest straw, so she has to
sell for an FMW woman.  Good match that goes back and forth.  A few minutes in
Takako catches Kudo dawdling up top and hits an ipponzei for a near-fall.  She goes up
top herself but Kudo follows her up, hits a top-rope Frankensteiner- and gets the pin?!  6
MINUTES????  What the fuck is this, FMW Joshi Nitro?  Did Kevin Sullivan book the
women tonight while he was unconscious?

BIG TITAN/GLADIATOR/RICKY FUJI vs. SAMBO ASAKO/ KATSUJI UEDA/
GREGORY BERITCHEV:  Beritchev in t-shirt and Zubaz looks like the love-child of
Dave Scherer and the Sandman.  Gladiator pulls out the tope he went on to almost half JT
Smith with a few months later in Philly, then later adds a springboard elbow suicida to the
floor on Sambo.  Beritchev gets a cool-looking choke on Gladiator while Sambo unscrews
the top rope and uses it on him as well.  Gladiator comes back by absolutely CRUSHING
Sambo with a lariat, and while Sambo is singing the "Beauty Pair" theme song Titan picks
him up, puts him through a table and pins him.  "Beauty beauty, Beauty Pair..."

MR. POGO vs. TARZAN GOTO:  As bad or disappointing as most of the stuff on this
show is, Mr. Pogo-haters everywhere will want this tape for the sheer beating Tarzan
inflicts upon his person.  It's like Pogo got caught fucking Despina Montages (AKA Mrs.
Goto), because Tarzan is beating the crap out of him like it's going out of style and not
selling anything, not even when Pogo takes off his boots and whacks Tarzan with them.
Pogo finally gets some offense in when Ohya trips Tarzan from the outside and Hosaka
tosses Pogo a stick to carve another notch into Tarzan's forehead with.  Goto does a
sympathy blade-job but steals the stick and then starts to jab Pogo in the back, I guess
trying for a "blowhole" effect so the sweet plasma can come spouting out of Pogo (to no
avail).  Ohya comes up unto the apron and distracts Tarzan, theoretically allowing Pogo to
load up on fuel and burn Tarzan, but Tarzan comes back too soon and punches him in the
throat.  Spit take!  Tarzan works over Pogo's arm super-heavy, driving it into the mat
several times and then chairing it- at some point Pogo actually blades his arm from all the
damage to it.  Ohya throws his shirt into the ring either to stop the match or distract
Tarzan, neither of which happens.  Finally Pogo is good and dead and Tarzan starts to go
for pins, but each time he stops- right about now American announcers would be talking
about how "Tarzan's having some fun!", and you know what usually happens after that.
Tarzan face-busters Pogo onto a chair for another no-count, then he chairs Hosaka on the
apron but takes the ref out in the process.  Tarzan gives Hosaka a second chairshot on the
floor, comes back in and goes for another face-buster, but this allows Ohya to run in and
throw fire in Tarzan's face.  Pogo covers, the ref comes back from the dead and Pogo gets
the win.  Ending sucked, obviously, but that didn't detract one iota from the Glorious
Destruction of Pogo and All He Holds Dear.

MITSUHIRO MATSUNAGA vs. ATSUSHI ONITA, No-Rope Barbed-Wire Exploding
Ring 1993 Death Match, World Brass Knuckles Title at stake:  Not quite "Onita Death
Match-by-numbers" here because the psych is somewhat different, as Matsunaga gets a
bunch of knockdowns on Onita early for ref counts before Onita finally gets blown up a
few minutes in.  As Onita lies on the mat writhing around, Matsunaga pulls up his pants
leg revealing his leg wrapped in barbed-wire (cool!), and he just goes postal on Onita with
said leg. Matsunaga then uses a figure-four, and we get the comical visual of Onita
starting to try for a rope-break.  I think that one'd win America's Funniest Home Videos.
Onita breaks the hold and puts on a dragon sleeper which Matsunaga breaks by kicking
Onita with the loaded leg.  Onita then runs Matsunaga into the ropes for the explosion,
and five-pound fruitcake Matsunaga isn't wearing anything to cover his back so...I'd say it
sucked except Matsunaga probably liked it.  They both have a kickboxing match which
Onita wins with a DDT (go fig) and goes back to the dragon.  They follow with a
slap-fight which ends with Matsunaga backing Onita into the exploding barbed-wire
boards in the corner for an explosion.  Matsunaga picks him up at 7, gives him a
backdrop, picks him up and gives him a Stampede into the opposite corner to blow him
up!  Now the Onita formula rears its ugly head as Onita starts to kick out of everything
Matsunaga throws at him despite the fact that he should be clinically dead after the
Stampede.  Matsunaga charges Onita, who ducks away and sends Matsunaga into the
ropes head-first for the explosion.  Matsunaga staggers out, at which point Onita does a
running headbutt to Matsunaga's gut that sends him into the third corner for the explosion,
and now both guys are seriously hurting.  Matsunaga kicks out of three straight TFPBs
before Onita finally puts him away with a fourth and gets the win.  Post-match Onita
douses Matsunaga with a bucket of water and slaps him around I guess to keep him from
"going into shock," and both guys actually were hospitalized for some time after this
match because of the legit abuse they both took.  Really good death match with something
of a different feel to it.

Can't say as I'd recommend this one except to maybe Shark- and Pogo-haters who want to
see what it's like when they get victimized by their own annoying habits, although the main
event almost saves it.
 

#$#$#$#$#$## NEW JAPAN TV  1/4/1999
(byREV RAY!)
IWGP Jr. Heavweight Tag Titles :  Dr. Wagner Jr./Kendo Ka Shin v. Shinjiro
Ohtani/Takaiwa :  Wagner comes out in Aztec-esque garb, in a Mexican flag themed mask
and to "Bad Medicine" by Bon Jovi (well we'll forgive him for that).  Doc mugs a lot for
the crowd.  Ohtani and Takaiwa come out with two belt girls (it's good to be the champ).
This gets joined in progress, with Wagner dropping his royal shittiness on his head with
MD-II on the ramp (sold).  Kendo hits a hangman's neckbreaker and a half hour
brainbuster (both sold).  Kendo runs the  ropes and gets caught with a powerslam.  He
kickes out and tries for his victory roll into the cross arm breaker, but Takaiwa drops him
across the top rope and tags to Ohtani.  Ohtani attempts a jumping back kick, Kendo
holds the ropes, so Ohtani lands and hits him with a second attempt.  Ohtani German
suplex drops Ka Shin on the back of his head.  Ohtani goes for a back drop, Kendo goes
for a sunset flip, Ohtani fights it off so Ka Shin answers with a Greco-Roman double fist
UN FOUL to save himself and tag to Doc.  Doc comes in with a top rope drop kick, hits a
slam and a top rope splash for a two.  He misses a rolling senton allowing Takaiwa to tag.
Takaiwa hits a lariat and a powerslam on Doc, Kendo runs in and gets powerslammed.
Takaiwa hits the DVB for a two.  He's in trouble now, he's gone through better than half
his offense.  Takaiwa puts Wagner up top, Doc fights him off and hits a somersault body
attack for two (sold).  Wagner whipps out his cool ass hammerlock/neck submission hold
(sold).  Wagner hits the crucifx powerbomb (sold) for a two.  Takaiwa slips out of another
powerbomb attempt and turns it into a sunset flip despite landing mostly on his head.
Both men tag, Ohtani and Kendo miss each others attempted strikes before Kendo starts
busting out the cross armbreakers (there's a surprise).  Takaiwa saves Ohtani from a top
rope flying arm scissors take down attempt by grabbing Kendo in a powerbomb attempt,
which Ohtani drop kicks Kendo down from into the endless powerbomb.  This spot would
have looked much smoother if Takaiwa didn't have to hold up Kendo for about 30
seconds while Ohtani got off the top rope, then went back up top to do the drop kick.
Takaiwa takes care of Doc as Ohtani hits the dragon suplex for two.  Ohtani gets all
pissed at Honaga when he doesn't count the 3.  Ohtani hits the springboard drop kick into
the spiral lygerbomb which Doc saves Kendo from the 3 count.  Doc hits Ohtani with the
lariat and sets him up in the corner.  Kendo runs over and hits the cross armbreaker off the
top and gets the tap out win as Doc takes out Takaiwa.  This was actually pretty good.
Takaiwa was actually selling for a change (maybe New Japan did the smart thing and cut
all that shit out of the match), so I didn't have to hate him as much as I usually do.

IWPG Jr. Heavyweight Title Match : Koji Kanemoto v. Jushin Thunder Lyger : Joined in
progress, Koji is going for the Samurai Killer top rope reverse rana but he falls off while
doing it.  Lyger gets off the top rope with a diving shotay to the back of Koji's head.  Koji
escapes a powerbomb attempt by sort of sunset flipping Lyger into the buckles.  Koji hits
a top rope powerslam type thing for a two and a moonsault for another two.  Koji hits the
tiger suplex but Lyger hulks out of it at two.... uh oh.  Lyger hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker
and as he has Koji across his knee, picks up his head and shotay's him in the face.  Lyger
hits the corner shotay and then a Lyger bomb for a two.  Lyger hits Koji with the
superfishermanbuster, but Koji hulks up.  Lyger hits the ropes and hits him with a palm
thrust to the back of the head for a two.  Lyger measures Koji for another strike, but runs
into a few chops from Koji.  Koji flips the switch to mega dick as he slaps Lyger around
and holds him up so he can spit in his head.  Koji does sort of a skytwister type move
where he lands on in a senton onto Lyger, but he pulls him up.  He sets Lyger up on the
top rope, but eats a palm strike, Lyger pulls him back up top and kills him with a top rope
brainbuster.  Some neat moves, but I'm getting annoyed by the recent trend of guys just
whipping out the Hulk Ups.  If Lyger wants to do that with Takaiwa when he decides he
wants to suck, so be it, but don't make a habit of it.

IWGP Tag Title Match :  Shiro Koshinaka/Tenryu v. Hiroyoshi Tenzan/Satoshi Kojima :
Also joined in progress, Tenryu is tagged in and chops away on Tenzan.  He goes up for
his old man elbow, but slips on the way up and looks like he doesn't come close to hitting
Tenzan with it when he falls.  Chono is shown at ringside doing commentary as Tenryu
drops Tenzan with a lariat.  Tenzan fights off Tenryu to tag to Kojima who gets met by
Shiro who runs in immediately.  They set up Kojima on the top rope, Shiro whips Tenryu
into Kojima so he can hit a running chop and then a diamond cutter out of the corner..
which Kojima no sells.  Kojima hits his own cutter, followed by two lariats for a two
count.  Kojima with a powerbomb followed by a top rope elbow for two.  Tenryu and
Kojima double lariat each other, allowing Shiro to tag.  Kojima hits his corner elbow
smash/top rope elbow combo for a two and tags to Tenzan.  They hit double mongolian
chops on Shiro and Tenzan follow it up with a lariat for a two.  Tenzan hits his mountain
bomb on Shiro, but Tenryu runs in.  They end up all fighting out on the floor which leads
to Tenzan doing a moonsault out to the floor on all three guys.  Tenzan throws Shiro in
and beats on him some more, including hitting a calf branding on Shiro for two.  Tenryu
kicks Tenzan when he's running the ropes, so Kojima runs in.  Kojima hits Tenryu with the
diamond cutter, Shiro hip attacks him, Tenzan reverses another hip attack into a back
suplex.  Kojima diving lariats Shiro from behind into a top rope leg lariat from Tenzan.
Tenzan goes up one more time and hits the diving headbutt and the former rivals are the
new tag champions.

IWGP Heavyweight Title Match :  Scott Norton v. Keiji Mutoh :  JIP.  Mutoh is working
on Norton's leg, including a sort of dragon screw off the apron.  Mutoh throws Norton
back in the ring and puts him in the figure four.  Mutoh drop kicks his legs, Norton
answers with a lariat.  Mutoh works on the leg some more, gets the the figure four and
makes it to the ropes.  Norton fights out of a dragon screw attempt, hits a powerbomb,
but can't follow up because his leg.  Norton tries to suplex Mutoh back in, Mutoh flips
out, dropkickdragonscrewfigurefour, Rope save by Norton.  Mutoh hits a top rope drop
kick but runs into a powerslam.  Norton goes up top and hits the diving shoulder block for
a two.  Mutoh fights out of a powerbomb, dragon screw, moonsault for a two.  Top Rope
drop kick to the knee, figure four finally does the trick.  This was a whole lot of repeating
spots as Mutoh apparently doesn't have too many things left in his bag of trick that he can
use on Norton so the match doesn't vary at all.

This was a weird show as the guys I'm used to being no selling choads probably did the
most selling.
 

#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$ IWE WRESTLING VOLS. 1 & 2 COMM TAPE, ca. 1972
(byPOGO PETE STEIN!)
I was going to use this slot to review the Misawa/Jumbo sequel from 9/90 until Schneider
decided to play Kikuchi to my Chono, reacted to something really cool and immediately
copied it to less than a stellar reaction.  Now I have no problems with Schneid and I
understand he's working on his body lice problem... hell, I even forgive him for blatantly
kiping my concept.  Why? Because it allows me to go ahead and get Super Retro
Medieval on his and Foghat's collective ass with the forgotten promotion of Japan, the
International Wrestling Enterprises group of Rusher Kimura's wistful youth.

STRONG KOBAYASHI vs. MONSTER ROUSIMOFF, 1972 IWA World Series Grand
Final:  It's one thing to see Andre The Giant in the twilight of his life, barely able to stand
upright much less work a match... it's a different matter to see a semi-mobile Andre,
master of the evil laugh in 1981... but it's a TRULY AMAZING THING to see Andre,
26-year-old manchild, rip it up on the mat in 1972 as Monster Rousimoff.  First fall
consists mostly of Kobayashi (AKA the poor man's Inoki) working over Andre's head
mixed up with Andre stalling and getting heat; the cool thing here is that Andre's really
great at selling damage, not nearly as bad as you'd expect from a guy his size.  Andre
winds up taking the first fall after getting slammed by Strong (15,000 yen!), only to pop
right up and cave Strong's skull in with a tombstone for the pin.  Strong's seconds have to
literally drag him back to his corner while Andre strolls over to his and chills out with
Dory Dixon.  Strong makes a quick comeback at the start of the second fall by working
over Andre's hand after he accidentally punches the turnbuckle, but Andre soon turns
things around and starts to brutalize Strong with chokes.  Strong comes back by dishing
out a beating on the floor, and the fall goes back and forth until Andre gets Strong in a
sort of STF variation while simultaneously choking Strong out, then shoves the ref for the
lame-o DQ when the ref tries to break the hold.  Andre is all over Strong at the start of the
final fall, only to get wrapped up in the ropes when Strong gives him a gut-shot.  Strong
hits the ropes twice and connects with headbutts, but on the third try Andre gets untangled
and Strong winds up on the floor.  Andre gets Strong on his knees and applies a nerve
hold, but Strong slides his legs up under Andre's arms and almost gets a Boston Crab(!)
before Andre finally reaches the ropes.  They go back-and-forth for several minutes before
Strong backdrops Andre to the floor.  Andre tries to get back in, but as he steps through
the ropes Strong connects with a right hand.  Andre falls back to the floor, leg entangled
in the ropes... and there he remains until the ref counts him out for the win.  Blah finish to
a pretty good match, especially when you consider that it went just about 40 minutes and
Andre had the stamina to last the whole way.  Quote of the night from Andre, every time
he works Strong's head over with those gargantuan paws of his: "SUBMISSION!!!"

THUNDER SUGIYAMA/ISAMU TERANISHI/RUSHER KIMURA vs. MONSTER
ROUSIMOFF/IVAN VAITEN/TITO COPA: Joined in progress.  Tito is a bald,
three-foot-high furball who I guess taught Greg Valentine how to do his "Valentine
Timber" bump based on this being the only thing he does of note throughout the match.
Vaiten is some non- descript guy.  Sugiyama is an ex-JWA guy in barefeet, maybe the #3
native in IWE.  Teranishi is like the male Devil Masami in that he looked as ancient and
cranky 27 years ago as he does now.  Rusher is Rusher with hair.  Andre takes the first fall
with the tombstone on Rusher after they work some comedy spots with Andre trapped in
the ropes.  Second fall has the gaijin team triple on Rusher in their corner until the ref
starts to blow his whistle like he's in Paris ("Gendarmes!"), at which point Rusher's pals
bail him out and we get the Japanese team working some surreal AWA midget match
spots as they trick Andre's partners into landing on him.  With Andre and Tito reeling,
Rusher hits the Bulldogging Headlock on Ivan, follows with a chop and gets a Torture
Rack on him for the submission.  Tito tries to make the save but gets knocked silly by
Ivan's leg as he spins around.  Andre gets pissed at Ivan for dropping the fall; as he turns
his back on Ivan, Sugiyama runs over and gives Andre a MASSIVE chop.  Sugiyama then
runs back to his corner and Andre gets to do his take on "Niagara Falls" as he thinks Ivan
chopped him.  Andre and Ivan finally turn on each other, and Andre takes a seat in the
front row to watch his partners get thrashed.  The goofiness ensues as Andre breaks up
two pin attempts on Ivan by Teranishi, only to break up one by his partner by accident as
he comes in a third time.  After several minutes of this, Andre decides that play time is
officially over as he picks up Teranishi, presses him and drops him into a stomach-breaker
for the pin and match.  This here's a big batch of goofy fun, especially if you're into
pointless comedy as much as I am.  Tito in particular acts at times like he's channeling
Super Porky 20 years into the past.  =D

STRONG KOBAYASHI vs. DON LEO JONATHAN: Damn, but Don Leo could really
go for a guy his size (about 6'6, billed at 290 by IWE).  We're talking flying headscissors,
kip-ups, dropkicks, landing on his feet off of monkey-flips, plus he had the MUTTON
CHOPS OF FIERY DOOM going for him as well.  Strong still thinks he's wrestling
Andre, so he resorts to that dippy headscissors where he uses it to bonk Don's head
against the mat.  On the plus side, Strong actually uses a Jackhammer on Don at roughly
the same time Goldberg was already no-selling his li'l buddies in Pre-K.  They do a
20-minute draw here, with Don using a hijack backbreaker as IWE's Ben Stein-like ring
announcer makes the "30 seconds left" call with all the passion of a chess announcer.  Don
follows up with a Bombs Away, but since they're doing a draw he has to inexplicably kick
away at Strong to waste some seconds before he makes the cover so Strong gets saved by
the bell.  They go into OT at this point I guess since it's part of the World Series league.
Strong takes control and tosses Don out, but Don skins the cat(!!!) and sends Strong out
to join him.  Both guys climb back in, where Strong coaxes an Eigen-esque spit take out
of Don with a chop and sends him back outside.  After both guys come back in Don gets
the hijack on again at the "30 seconds" call, but as he goes up top again for the Bombs
Away Strong recovers, slams him down and pins him.  D'OH!  Good match thanks almost
entirely to Don.

All in all, every match here has something going for it if you like 70's-style.  DEAN~!
would say it reminds him of Mid-Atlantic and I'd be inclined to agree with him, except I've
never seen the kinescopes or daguerrotypes Mid-Atlantic used back then. ;)
 
 

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$just think of what we could do if %%%%%%%%%%
######################we got on our ownSINGLESgoingSTEADY! &&&&&&&&
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Kenichiro Arai vs Genki Horiguchi- MICHINOKU LUCHA TV
#16, aired 1/14/99:  RASMUSSEN- So Ultimo Dragon is just finding all these future
superstars under rocks or in poolhalls all over Japan because here is two more guys I’ve
never seen who look to be real frickin’ good.  This is on MP Lucha as Sasuke somehow
lucked into getting on Ultimo’s good side even before TORYUMON got to be the fastest
horse ever out of the gates- and thus extended the life of his own ever-troubled
promotion.  Genki Horiguchi is the technico according to the SWANK TORYUMON
page and you can tell in this match because he offers to shake Arai’s hand in the
beginning.  Arai- remember the first lesson Ultimo’s Rudo Handbook page one paragraph
one- sneak attacks after a handshake and the match kicks off for the rookies in the hottest
little promotion on earth.  Arai does lots and lots of knee assault as he tries to break
Genki’s leg with kneedrops and kneebars for the first two-thirds of the match.  Genki has
the odd transition of hulking up to Arai’s headbutts and making with the stiff kicks in
retaliation and they do the schoolyard fight face-to-face staredown with headbutts and stiff
kicks thrown in.  To remind us that it’s a rookie match, genki IMMEDIATELY forgets to
ever sell the damage to knee after he starts getting in the offense.  Arai misses a toprope
headbutt and Genki slaps on one of the more improbable submissions out of the Dr
Cerebro Astoundingly Odd Submission Hold Manual.  Five years, any of these guys in
Torymon are tradebait for us tape freaks and this rookie match will the great jewel in the
Best of Genki Horiguchi Tape.  Toryumon is new and everything they do is good and all
things are possible at this point and that makes it fun!  FUN!

Chris Benoit vs Al Snow- somewhere in Ohio in 1994:RASMUSSEN- This was on a Best
Of Benoit tape that Rev Ray had laying around and it’s really great for historical purposes.
Ollie Postlethwaite said it best when he said that Al Snow was a better wrestler when he
on grainy videotape in a warehouse somewher and here is Al Snow in a warehouse
somewhere and the video tape is grainy.  The big thing is to notice that at this point Benoit
was the other big US Indie Underground guy kicking around warehouses between New
Japan tours so this was a meeting of future big two superstars.  Benoit is about to explode
from the metric ton of steroids he had digested that year and Snow was all spritely and
limber.  Benoit wrestles like he had just gotten straight out of Stampede- in that he’s all
about cheap heel heat and pro-style moves.  He throws in some suplexes at the end to
remind you that he was also having four star matches against Liger at this point in time
also.  The pinnacle of the match is when Al Snow has Benoit in the Indian Deathlock and
the ref asks Benoit to give it up.  Benoit says- just like Bob McKenzie- “No way!”  I fell
out.  A million billion stars.
 

NEXT WEEK:  Schneider stares at All Japan like a labrador retriever staring at Citizen
Kane.  Ripper is baffled by LLPW and tries to come to grips with his primal attraction to
Eagle Sawai.  Cheapest Man In Memphis Naimark comes up with another excuse not to
award a prize for his trivia “contest”.  WOO-HOO!

DVD HOLLENDAISE- THREE FISTS IN THE FACE OF WRESTLING.

Do ya wanna touch, Do ya wanna touch, Do ya wanna touch me there?
- Gary Glitter.

DVDVRs #91 - 95

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