HOLY SHEEEEIIIIITTTE! Did I just see a WATCHABLE John Nord match? A
freakin PISCADO on a prone Barbarian? Ridiculous bumps and AWA Elbow drops?
Hey! It's called a good powermoves match. It was big! It was bonehead! It
wasn't boring! WHOMP ASS!
The Flair interveiw with the Bret Hart supporting role was about as
classically Flair as you can get. This match will rule the fucking world
for the simple reason that they have booked themselves into a guaranteed
clean finish. I'm guessin time limit draw. It's Bret Hart. If HE can't
carry the ossified Flair to great match, nobody is going to ever again
forever. I love this mutual respect/dream match number 1 in the Bret goes to
WCW Cavalcade. So Souled Out is gonna be GOOD now....
The Benoit/Mongo match was a lot less than it could have been, though Mongo
had the best match of his god-forsaken career. Mongo assumes the Ricky
Morton role as Benoit stands around. The Semi Elimination was a wacky,
truly makeshift variation on the original. You gotta love Riggs for getting
on the good list by totally turning his back on the fannyboy style he was
wrestling all of last year and before. Benoit is basically gonna be
standing around until Raven is healthy enough to put him over, so I'm
expecting a Beat-Lodi-To-Death match next week as the countdown continues.
Hey! It's Rick Martel! I'll be a monkey's uncle! Ah, he can still work,
and the As-Boring-As-Senator-Paul-Simon Brad Armstrong ain't gonna hurt you,
so it worked for me. WCW attempts to gather up ammo for the assault on
Canada by bringing this former AWA champ out of mothballs. If Milkman
Millikan shows up, we'll know that they all signed some kind of satanic oath
with Bischoff back in AWA. If Baron Von Rashke shows up, we'll know that it
involved sacrificing virgins to the spirit of Dick the Bruiser.
HEY! NO GIANT! WOO-HOO!
Stevie Ray vs Bill Goldberg was SOOO much of a Hercules Hernandez vs
Nikolia Volkoff match. Goldberg actually sold a little, which was a good
sign I guess. I feel sorry for Stevie Ray eventhough he sucks, because they
can make his brother into one of their top heavyweights and Stevie Ray is
gonna be the Eddie Payton of the family. Oh well, he gets paid a lot to
suck, so I can't feel too sorry for him.
DDP vs Jericho would have worked if the shithead announcers would have
gotten over the whole point of the goddam match. JERICHO IS TURNING HEEL,
YOU FUCKHEADS. Notice it.
Savage vs Luger was better than it should have been- what with Savage
trying to kill himself, Liz being all old,hot and minky in the
DIVORCEE-SEDUCES-THE-TEENAGER- MOWING-THE-GRASS kind of way, the CLEAN PIN
IN A NITRO MAIN EVENT, and Luger trying real hard in such a lumbering way,
but hey! it's Luger and I can't bring myself to do it.:) The post match
angle involved NOBODY I give a shit about so that can all go to hell too.
(Konan was in the six-man with guys I would usually bust on a whole bunch, but he is outside of the realm of my criticism for a while because I have a one year old daughter and I can't imagine how horrible it was to go through the tragedy that he and his girlfriend went through. Things happen in this world that can't be understood or logically explained in the face of such a loving God.)
THERE YOU HAVE IT.
DEAN!
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