The Monday Nitro Workrate Report

A weekly look at what did and didn't work on Monday Nitro by Dean Rasmussen

Monday, January 11th, 1999


What Worked
Yoshihiro Tajiri and Super Crazy had a really cool little match that was pretty spirited and winning for such a cold match. Super Crazy was a suitable and giving foil to the FEELING IT Tajiri who was the true showcase of the match. Tajiri does his usual superSWANK Lucha-cum-puroresu freak-out but is already working smarter than most guys thrown out in front of a bunch gaijin/gringo ECW yahoos by doing the COOL thing of taking it to the mat all weird and lucha, as opposed to his other tendency- to Malenko it on the mat for five minutes. Super Crazy and the CROWD responded better and Super Crazy got to look good on the mat before all the aerial stuff started since he was comfortable countering the masterful lucha matwork of Tajiri. When the aerial stuff did kick in, it was pretty great- what with Tajiri sporting the most BEAUTIFUL Asai Moonsault in the business and Super Crazy not afraid to pick five of his sweetest highspots and utilize them effectively in the match. I dug the fact that they sold every highspot and their was a fair amount of psychology instilled as they set-up their highspots really well. The cool stuff in this match was different from the cool spots in the Van Dam/Storm match (which I thought was another pretty top drawer match until they blew EVERYTHING at the end and did elaborate Van Crapinators to fuck up a perfectly cool ECW spotfest). This was all good and Tajiri and Tanaka being signed to ECW makes their stock with FMW go through the roof as they now have native and foreign talent to exchange to set-up Gannesuke/Kanemura vs Tajiri/Antifaz on PPV and MY ass will be in the seat. Heyman is starting to see an opening that the morons in the Big Shitty Two have left open- the burgeoning Smart crowd which left ECW in droves when WCW signed everybody from NJ, the crowd that grows everyday with the internet and with the large percentage that really dug the Juventud/Kidman matches who are now suddenly left watching Big Papa Pump and Lex Luger jerk each others steroid-ravaged dicks as the LWO gets returned to their Sullivan Booking- Jobber To Wrath spots- are now looking around for some wrestling to watch. Heyman has the inside track again for the first ime in a long time. WCW and WWF buries their guys who would have cornered the smart market so Heyman can take the lesser known but just talented (Tajiri, Reckless Youth, Super Crazy) or even MORE talented (Antifaz del Norte, Masato Tanaka) than their Big Shitty Two counterparts and do the ONE thing that Heyman IS capable of doing well- letting little known REAL workers get over and create a cult buzz around them. Heyman rebuilding his ravaged crappy-worker ranks with these kind of superworker guys is gonna get guys from Richmond,VA making roadtrips back to Philly again. Someone commented that Heyman didn't have Sandman in this PPV because of Bischoff and I said, "Yeah, WCW is REALLY making these ECW Pay-per-views better and better." This match made me feel good about wrestling again after the shit WCW unloaded Thursday and continued with last night. Tajiri kills Super Crazy with right GORGEOUS Dragon Suplex.

The Hardyz (z because they are SO street) and Too Much have a big old affair with the Job Squad- featuring the so very close to being Johnny Grunge Dos Mille- Blue Meanie. The Hardyz are electric in this, as Matt whips out the Black Tiger Bomb and Jeff continues to off-handedly take psychotic bumps as often as Psicosis in Tijuana. The JOB Squad knows their role which is pretty much to play the part of victim to the actual workers across from them until the good worker for the JOB Squad- the ever-divine Scorpio- gets them all to the finish. This should have been longer and was good enough for the Whiff to look into doing a Cybernetico Match next time. WWFSSN is the best indie in the North. Heat this up and let's see some actual wrestling. (Notice me holding my breath- ahh-hup!).

Fit Finlay and Dave Taylor had a STIFF affair with Disorderly Conduct as Taylor is looking 900% cooler now than the first time he came in- for the simple reason that Fit Finlay laid the groundwork for Taylor's real Euro-Asskicker And Stretcher style to come out by staying steadfast to his REAL Pro Wrestling style convictions when he was on TV four times a week. It seems that Fit has come to the same conclusion that Regal came to before Regal's drinking turned him from best stiff worker in North America to absolutely nothing- the US fans are idiots maybe but US bookers are MUCH bigger idiots and neither would recognize REAL professional wrestling if it got them in a step-over toehold so wrestle your own style and fuck the pussies who can't handle it. The great thing about the Regal vs Finlay matches were that you could tell that THE ONLY person those were for were EACH OTHER. Regal and Finlay were so much better than anybody else in the company and took so much pride in the style they worked that the ONLY one's they could POSSIBLY give a fuck about impressing is Mr Regal and Mr Finlay. Luckily, they underestimated the US wrestling fan, because we ate it up and gave Regal leeway to be an actual wrestler who stretched and beat the hell out of muthas on the way to compelling matches- as opposed to a fatter version of Adrian Street. When Regal left, Finlay found that same spirit in Benoit and that would push him to have the four harrowing matches that they had last year. Now, with Benoit stuck trying to prop up the total shit at the top of the card or filling up the ring as so much lawn furniture as they make matches for Ric Flair's son, Finlay got Dave Taylor back and now HE is the only one Finlay has to impress in his heart and soul- so THIS is the new great tag team. Finlay goes all Snakepit on Mean Mike- breaking him down and working against his joints with assorted pressure holds and Finlay- being the coolest motherfucker on the face of the earth- accents Taylor's Bow and Arrow with a fat ass kick to the head- as if to show, in a microcosm, the dynamics of the new tagteam. Mean Mike and Tough Tom are MEN enough to take it and look credible giving it back so this was really good- eventhough they are trying to get Taylor over so they didn't give as much as Finlay usually would (since Finlay will make anyone look good before he kicks the shit out of them.) WCWSN is the best indie in the South and I eagerly await a Finlay/Taylor vs Armstrongs feud since everyone involved seems to give a shit about what they are doing.


What Didn't Work
All of Nitro got on it's knees and sucked it's own dick for three hours and YOU got to watch. This was less horrible than the total festering piles of total shit that Big Leslie the Ratings Killer left laying around the Richmond Coliseum Thursday but it was still putrid clumps of Big Shithead's fecal spray right there on my TV set. The ONLY redeeming thing on it was the Pepe birthday party and THEY RUINED THAT with the Wood-Chipper Finale because they didn't even let me use "Pepe must be getting a trophy next week" joke. That's all the shitheads who book WCW are getting from me this week. Dissecting a turd and talking about it is degenerate behaviour and- anyway- I've got three hours of tape to erase. SEE YA AT SOULED OUT!! IT'S GONNA ROCK! TAZER ON A POLE!!! Fuck you up the ass, WCW.


THERE YOU HAVE IT.

DEAN RASMUSSEN.




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