The Monday Nitro Workrate Report
A weekly look at what did and didn't work on Monday Nitro by Dean Rasmussen
Monday, January 11th, 1999
What Worked
Yoshihiro Tajiri and Super Crazy had a really cool little match that
was pretty spirited and winning for such a cold match. Super Crazy was
a suitable and giving foil to the FEELING IT Tajiri who was the true
showcase of the match. Tajiri does his usual superSWANK
Lucha-cum-puroresu freak-out but is already working smarter than most
guys thrown out in front of a bunch gaijin/gringo ECW yahoos by doing
the COOL thing of taking it to the mat all weird and lucha, as opposed
to his other tendency- to Malenko it on the mat for five minutes. Super
Crazy and the CROWD responded better and Super Crazy got to look good on
the mat before all the aerial stuff started since he was comfortable
countering the masterful lucha matwork of Tajiri. When the aerial stuff
did kick in, it was pretty great- what with Tajiri sporting the most
BEAUTIFUL Asai Moonsault in the business and Super Crazy not afraid to
pick five of his sweetest highspots and utilize them effectively in the
match. I dug the fact that they sold every highspot and their was a
fair amount of psychology instilled as they set-up their highspots
really well. The cool stuff in this match was different from the cool
spots in the Van Dam/Storm match (which I thought was another pretty top
drawer match until they blew EVERYTHING at the end and did elaborate Van
Crapinators to fuck up a perfectly cool ECW spotfest). This was all
good and Tajiri and Tanaka being signed to ECW makes their stock with
FMW go through the roof as they now have native and foreign talent to
exchange to set-up Gannesuke/Kanemura vs Tajiri/Antifaz on PPV and MY
ass will be in the seat. Heyman is starting to see an opening that the
morons in the Big Shitty Two have left open- the burgeoning Smart crowd
which left ECW in droves when WCW signed everybody from NJ, the crowd
that grows everyday with the internet and with the large percentage that
really dug the Juventud/Kidman matches who are now suddenly left
watching Big Papa Pump and Lex Luger jerk each others steroid-ravaged
dicks as the LWO gets returned to their Sullivan Booking- Jobber To
Wrath spots- are now looking around for some wrestling to watch. Heyman
has the inside track again for the first ime in a long time. WCW and
WWF buries their guys who would have cornered the smart market so Heyman
can take the lesser known but just talented (Tajiri, Reckless Youth,
Super Crazy) or even MORE talented (Antifaz del Norte, Masato Tanaka)
than their Big Shitty Two counterparts and do the ONE thing that Heyman
IS capable of doing well- letting little known REAL workers get over and
create a cult buzz around them. Heyman rebuilding his ravaged
crappy-worker ranks with these kind of superworker guys is gonna get
guys from Richmond,VA making roadtrips back to Philly again. Someone
commented that Heyman didn't have Sandman in this PPV because of
Bischoff and I said, "Yeah, WCW is REALLY making these ECW Pay-per-views
better and better." This match made me feel good about wrestling again
after the shit WCW unloaded Thursday and continued with last night.
Tajiri kills Super Crazy with right GORGEOUS Dragon Suplex.
The Hardyz (z because they are SO street) and Too Much have a big old
affair with the Job Squad- featuring the so very close to being Johnny
Grunge Dos Mille- Blue Meanie. The Hardyz are electric in this, as Matt
whips out the Black Tiger Bomb and Jeff continues to off-handedly take
psychotic bumps as often as Psicosis in Tijuana. The JOB Squad knows
their role which is pretty much to play the part of victim to the actual
workers across from them until the good worker for the JOB Squad- the
ever-divine Scorpio- gets them all to the finish. This should have been
longer and was good enough for the Whiff to look into doing a
Cybernetico Match next time. WWFSSN is the best indie in the North.
Heat this up and let's see some actual wrestling. (Notice me holding my
breath- ahh-hup!).
Fit Finlay and Dave Taylor had a STIFF affair with Disorderly Conduct
as Taylor is looking 900% cooler now than the first time he came in- for
the simple reason that Fit Finlay laid the groundwork for Taylor's real
Euro-Asskicker And Stretcher style to come out by staying steadfast to
his REAL Pro Wrestling style convictions when he was on TV four times a
week. It seems that Fit has come to the same conclusion that Regal came
to before Regal's drinking turned him from best stiff worker in North
America to absolutely nothing- the US fans are idiots maybe but US
bookers are MUCH bigger idiots and neither would recognize REAL
professional wrestling if it got them in a step-over toehold so wrestle
your own style and fuck the pussies who can't handle it. The great
thing about the Regal vs Finlay matches were that you could tell that
THE ONLY person those were for were EACH OTHER. Regal and Finlay were
so much better than anybody else in the company and took so much pride
in the style they worked that the ONLY one's they could POSSIBLY give a
fuck about impressing is Mr Regal and Mr Finlay. Luckily, they
underestimated the US wrestling fan, because we ate it up and gave Regal
leeway to be an actual wrestler who stretched and beat the hell out of
muthas on the way to compelling matches- as opposed to a fatter version
of Adrian Street. When Regal left, Finlay found that same spirit in
Benoit and that would push him to have the four harrowing matches that
they had last year. Now, with Benoit stuck trying to prop up the total
shit at the top of the card or filling up the ring as so much lawn
furniture as they make matches for Ric Flair's son, Finlay got Dave
Taylor back and now HE is the only one Finlay has to impress in his
heart and soul- so THIS is the new great tag team. Finlay goes all
Snakepit on Mean Mike- breaking him down and working against his joints
with assorted pressure holds and Finlay- being the coolest motherfucker
on the face of the earth- accents Taylor's Bow and Arrow with a fat ass
kick to the head- as if to show, in a microcosm, the dynamics of the new
tagteam. Mean Mike and Tough Tom are MEN enough to take it and look
credible giving it back so this was really good- eventhough they are
trying to get Taylor over so they didn't give as much as Finlay usually
would (since Finlay will make anyone look good before he kicks the shit
out of them.) WCWSN is the best indie in the South and I eagerly await
a Finlay/Taylor vs Armstrongs feud since everyone involved seems to give
a shit about what they are doing.
What Didn't Work
All of Nitro got on it's knees and sucked it's own dick for three
hours and YOU got to watch. This was less horrible than the total
festering piles of total shit that Big Leslie the Ratings Killer left
laying around the Richmond Coliseum Thursday but it was still putrid
clumps of Big Shithead's fecal spray right there on my TV set. The ONLY
redeeming thing on it was the Pepe birthday party and THEY RUINED THAT
with the Wood-Chipper Finale because they didn't even let me use "Pepe
must be getting a trophy next week" joke. That's all the shitheads who
book WCW are getting from me this week. Dissecting a turd and talking
about it is degenerate behaviour and- anyway- I've got three hours of
tape to erase. SEE YA AT SOULED OUT!! IT'S GONNA ROCK! TAZER ON A
POLE!!! Fuck you up the ass, WCW.
THERE YOU HAVE IT.
DEAN RASMUSSEN.