The Monday Nitro Workrate Report
A weekly look at what did and didn't work on Monday Nitro by Dean Rasmussen
Monday, January 12th, 1998
What Worked
Golly! Benoit vs Malenko was about as good as it gets. Malenko's released
German Suplex was AWE-INSPIRING, as was the highly improbable roll-up out of
backslide out of a Tiger Driver- which I have NEVER seen before. Benoit was
great. Malenko was great. The postmatch will be great if Benoit and Malenko
get to wrestle their way out of this Raven's nest angle and into the world
of cool matches, like this one. I loved the short-arm scissors into a
powerbomb and the whole friggin Magilla. Terry Taylor books freakin circles
around Sullivan so far.
Booker T is SUCH the perfect TV champion because he can have good matches
with any of the good/great workers in the Heavyweight/quasi-Heavyweight
realm and heat that momma up to the point that its good television. They
may have really stumbled upon something REALLY big with Booker T- something
I was hoping they would figure out- that Booker T as the TV champ means
another good match mid-card to go with the Cruiserweight match. Booker T
sells both fat-ass suplexes from Saturn like a FUCKING KING, and hits his
limited batch of spin and scissor kicks. The WWF restart was too goofy, but
I'm glad they kept the belt on him. This Rick Martel feud will really suck
if they kill the belt yet again by putting it on the fossilized former AWA
champ.
The Jericho angle is great and it could be NUMBER ONE AND THE BEST if he
can just get to that Ultimate Warrior level of self-delusion and grotesque
pretentious self-absorption. THAT would rock like a hurricane. AND How
dare that little bastard interrupt while Lionheart had the crowd in the palm
of his hand! I'd give him strange backbreaker variations too, the little
masked glory-hogging freak. I'm hoping that the Juventud vs Rey match gets
a longer time than this on Thursday, though this did well in starting the
Juventud heel-turn. Plus Juventud keeps the belt a while longer. I just
hope Rey puts him over clean Thursday to establish Juventud more and make
him more of a player in the division. And I'd rather see Juventud trip over
the top ropes than see Lex Luger do a Flying Space Tiger Drop.
HEY! Black Cat vs Marty Jannetty was technically good, though it was
inexplicably weird. Jannetty's Al Snowbomb was lacklustre but that DDT by
Black Cat Whomped my Ass with Concussive goodness. The truly embarrassing
Rocker crap postmatch our boy Marty and the fact they didn't call his
finisher a fuckin FACE-CRUSHER were also in the way of me digging this match
too much.
Hell with it. Goldberg and Jerry Flynn did an conceptually interesting
match that you never see in the Big Two with lotsa half-ass submissions and
stuff they'll never be cool enough to REALLY pull off but it was cool that
they attempted it, so I'll give them props for that. Goldberg sold a little
and bled hardway, so hell, I can't hate it.
The Savage turning on Nash angle was neato and makes for fun on Thursday in
an area I wouldn't look for fun (except for Elizabeth's lowcut dress
HAHAHAHHAHAHA HAHAHAAHAHAH!!!.... Ah, the Midnight Choker Joke! I KILL
me!!). Nash still sucks WAY too hard to be stinking up my TV. The Steiners
tried harder than I've seen in a while, which means I didn't openly
projectile vomit onto my TV screen. There you go.
Jim Neidhart came in and was a victim to advance the smokin Flair/Hart
angle and it was really effective with Flair being all Horseman-y and all.
The down-side is that we will have to see Niedhart's big fat ass as he
attempts to wrestle.
What Didn't Work
LANCE FREAKIN DIAMOND JOBS TO KURRGEN IN A 'handicap match." Vince McMahon
can jump up my ass. Oops! Wrong.... AH CRAP!
Mongo really blows and he DEFINATELY shouldn't be going over the
Role-Model/Superstar that is Lionheart Chris Jericho- but I guess it
advances the angle and Mongo sold a hurricanrana off the ringpost so I can't
whine too much. Chris Jericho was kind enough to admit that he lost to an
inferior opponent and I have to take exception, he actually lost to
lumbering, clumsy stiff who wasn't even the fourth best defensive lineman on
the Bears in 1985.
Nash and Hall REALLY stink. God. They REALLY stink. I mean REEEAAAALLY
stink. Stink. In that match against the Steiners, they weren't afraid to
really stink. They really stink.
Hugh Morris wrestled Lex Luger and it was the first time in a while that
collossal stiff Luger actually OUTWORKED someone in the ring. Morris is a
giant mountain of crap now. He is nothing at all in terms of doing anything
interesting in the ring. He has joined the Giant in the Big Guys With Lotsa
"Athletic Ability" Who Suck and Blow Simultaneously.
Hey! MORE FRIGGIN LUCHADORES!
Where was EDDY, UD, and Fit Finlay??!?!?!
GOD! Giant and Nash posting bond of 1.5 Million dollars to make sure we
get to see a match that will feel like the equivalent of a total prostate
exam was too funny to even contemplate.
THERE YOU HAVE IT!
DEAN~!
