HEY! Benoit sells a batch for Marty Jannetty- go figure. I've never had any problem with Janetty- he can work and he sells and he is a good wrestler, but the kneelift had to have the Canadian Crippler saying to himself, "I've survived Ohtani's springboard DDT and I'm selling a frickin Bootyman move?!? Maybe I need to show Rockerboy what the Crippler is all aboot." The run-in (as opposed to the RUIN-in! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!) was SWANK for some reason. I dunno, when he gotta hold of Lodi I freaked out inside. I think Benoit appeals to the quiet hellish violence that permeates the core of all good Americans (or something). I think that's why he appeals to rednecks and compu-nerds alike. He's a prototypical SOMETHING. I can't quite figure it out. I hope they don't fuck up the match Saturday by booking it twelve ways to Tuesday.

Juventud vs Jericho was good workwise and freakin hilarious postmatchwise. Juventud was subdued and Jericho continued his non-botching of spots streak but this was kinda too short to be great and all. These two would be good if they keep Juventud on the road to pushdom and give Jericho the belt and there is an actual question as to who will win. I could see a fat-ass PPV match out of that. Postmatch was great! JUVIE! ARE YOU LISTENING?!? Juventud is back to technico-land it appears (HEY! It was a fun week of punk-ass bastardy goodness). Rey, the little masked freak, comes in and assaults my paragon of honor and NEXT Cruiserwieght Champio, Lionheart Chris Jericho. Little bastard.

Eddy vs Rick Martel worked from a booking standpoint. Martel is gonna be on the PPV wrestling for the belt against Booker T, who is so more over now than he was three weeks ago, so you have to get Martel a big win to set it up- and it better be over somebody good or everybody is gonna fall asleep before the first scissor kick. Eddy isn't on the PPV and can keep his heel heat in the match- and he does- and puts Martel over clean, thus making Martel look better for Saturday. I understand it, but I don't really like it. Eddy Guerrerro is the wrestler of the decade in terms of getting US audiences to take Junior Heavyweights seriously- without Eddy, there would have been no chance for Rey or TAKA or Juventud or Aguila or the rest. But putting over a former (HELL! maybe still) great wrestler is something that the greatness of Guerrerro can overcome. It was clean, Eddy got in as much as possible in four minutes, and nobody will remember it when Eddy takes the belt off (insert fabulous wrestler's name here) in a four and a half star match, so I can live with it. It would be easier to live with if it was ten minutes long and more hotly contested.

HEY! Buff takes Scott Steiner by his bloated and roid-enraged hand and guides him to a good match. Konan and Buff bump sufficiently large enough to make Scott look like he's more than just a gassed-up freak who can bearly move (which is just what he is). Hell, Scotty almosts breaks a whole bunch of his HGH-ed neck there for a second, so I can't complain about his effort in this one, I guess. The fact Rick Steiner's fat sorry ass didn't make it to the ring also factored heavily into my WHAT WORKED categorization. Did I ever say that Buff is the stuff? Yep. And Konan was pretty good in his bumpmeister role in this one too. And the Steiners are breaking up. I think I was more JACKED for Renegade and Joe Gomez breaking it off.

The Ernest Miller vs Jerry Flynn was the best match to ever not work since I've been hoisting up these reports. I loved the concept- submissions, stiff kicks, martial arts. The problem was that the kicks weren't really stiff and the pro style stuff they did was so freakin pedestrian. Watch some UWFi/Kingdom/BattlARTS and any other good worked shoots- HELLISH SUPLEXES are the key. The submissions were good but they missed the boat on how to get it over- kick the hell out of each other and take a fat-ass suplex like a MAN. If it doesn't make the veiwer yell "HOLY CRAP" at least once for a big kick or suplexes, then your match has decided to suck. Shootstyle without the danger isn't..... good.

The Giant vs Hogan sucked. Golly! Like you needed me to tell you! Boy! These two really stink- and Hogan was having such a winning streak of sucking-ass a lot less than he had been the couple of years. I guess when you're in with the biggest lumbering lardass in wrestling, the only place to go is a one way ticket to total Shitsville. And that's what we got. Poor Hogan.

I watched the Luger match (REALLY! I SWEAR!) but I don't remember anything good happening. He stinks a bunch too, but not nearly as much as Giant and Hogan and Nash and Hall. But he still stinks a whole bunch. Yep.

The nWo is breaking up whoopty-freakin-doo. (Okay, I'm digging the Savage stuff. BUT THAT'S IT.:))

THERE YOU HAVE IT.

DEAN!

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