Fudge it. Raven fuggin kicks ass. I thought it was just the Benoit
matches that were 90% Benoit and 10% Raven, but that 10% of Raven's is
enough to make a glorified squash with Disco Inferno intriguing. These two
had a weirdly transcendent match- maybe the first non-Benoit match where you
really see the Benoit influence- Stiff as hell, insane bumps, intensity;
Everything but the truly world-class dangerous moves. Still, those who are
in the circle of Benoit opponents currently- the US title, the TV title
contenders- are all aping the US Benoit and it's establishing a style pretty
quickly. I was digging this.
Speaking of guys who are gonna be better off aping Chris Benoit, Scotty
Riggs could use more matches against Benoit and a chance to break into the
TV title picture, because this whole Raven angle got him out of that pansy
assed gimmick and has him STARTING to wrestle a lot harder and better. I'd
stick him in as low man in the Guerrerro-Booker T- Malenko- Jericho- Martel-
Saturn axis of "belts for the guys who aren't neccessarily Cruiserweight but
who don't suck ass in the ring like all of our crappy heavyweights." Benoit
sells a lot of Riggs offense, an offense which is very deeply in the Better
Version of Disco Inferno's Offense, but it's Benoit, he's a pro and a
fucking MAN so he has no qualms about making sure his opponent look good, so
Riggs has a good match.
Prince Iaukea and Psicosis have a neat little match that sucked because of
the ending, but was real good in terms of what was done in the ring. Psic
goes about 1/5 Tijuana in his suicidal head-crushing attempts but still good
enough for free Monday and the apathetic marks in Philadelphia. The Prince
is coming along slowly but surely, in that he looked a LITTLE better this
time than the last time I saw him in with a real actual worker (Yuji
Nagata). Psic is starting to work stiffer and I dig that, and he sorta
tried to kill himself, and I dug that, and Prince did a Steamboat crossbody
and I dug that and the actual ending was sloppy, but I dug the reversal
concept, so I dug that.
Hacksaw Jim Duggan gets the holy crap kicked out of him. I don't care if
it IS Scott Steiner, ANYBODY who can make his Royal Big Stupid Shittiness
bump that much is A-OKAY in my book. By the end, Hacksaw looked like he was
about to cry because of the beating he had to take. What a big pussy.
HOOOOOOOOO!
Eh. Konnan was gonna kick the hell out of Super Calo because its Konan and
he likes to ruin his luchadores whenever he can- to get himself over, but
Calo hit some nice stuff and Konan has been attempting to not suck lately.
I dread the Juventud vs Konan match. A bunch. Not as good as the weirdly
watchable Lizmark Jr vs Konan match, but, hell, it worked for me and I am
the god and all in this little column. So there.:)
Dean Malenko and Booker T get caught RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of Eddy and
Jericho hitting a state of pure Rudo perfection as they generated enough
goofball rudo heat to heat up all the Nitros and Thunders for the next three
months- and since Booker T and Dean Malenko are both about as Lucha Libre as
Lou Thesz, you can imagine their bafflement and chagrin. I'll jump on the
Jericho-is-the-surrogate-Love-Machine Band-wagon. Well, actually Eddy is
becoming the surrogate Love Machine and HE'S STILL the best worker in WCW.
This match was pretty freakin GREAT as they go all Memphis with the cheap
heat- but with actual good wrestling thrown in. I'm guessing Malenko is
booking all this stuff because this was once again the best booked match on
the card. Malenko goes over after Eddy beats up on Booker T- showing that
Eddy is able to beat up the TV title holder- and Booker T escapes from
Jericho, seperating Booker T and Eddy from the Cruiserweight champ, and
Malenko gets the clean submission over the champion to heat their end of the
cool mid-card tagteam situation. This rocked. Spinerooni Intensive (Jim's
Wife! WHIP ASS! Tony WANTED to call it a spinerooni but that big historic
main event blurred his judgement.)
HOOO-BOY! Did that Public Enemy vs Barbarian/ Hugh Morrus match SUCK. Even
the tables themselves couldn't get a spot right. When the best worker in
your match is the Barbarian, fear for your freakin life. Johnny Grunge did
prove that he was a better worker than Hugh Morris. Of course, Hugh Morris
really....uh .... stinks.
Bill Goldberg and Sick Boy are two rookies. Sickboy shows flashes of
actual niftiness. Goldberg shows flashes of being shittier than the
Ultimate Warrior (All the Roid Rage/ None of the hilarious/pathetic
Delusional Self-important Psychotic Rambling). Goldberg- GO AWAY. You stink.
Diamond Dallas Page vs Hammer. Hmmm. If it sucked so much the first time,
IT'S GOTTA RULE THE SECOND TIME! Hell, remember how much better that second
Hogan/Sting match was? This sucked but advanced the set-up to Benoit vs
Raven vs DDP and two of those guys are on my TO WATCH list. Maybe DDP won't
fuck it up. Maybe he will. Okay, he probably will. Benoit better get a
friggin belt SOON.
Hey now, before you jump to any conclusions about what I would say about
these two, let me say that Davey Boy Smith vs Scott Norton was SO close to
being good. It was Norton having a New Japan lapse and helping out the
crippled DBS to look good and it was big and dynamic and stiff and then they
had the frickin run-in before it could actually achieve anything of lasting
worth. THIS would be a good feud for DBS. Norton can work when he's
feeling up for it and DBS might light a fire under him. Booking killed this
match though.
Ric Flair vs. Curt Hennig. Who gives a shit? At least Flair had a frickin
shirt on this time.
Bret Hart has been dubbed the Misawa of North America by my esteemed evil
nemesis and all around smarter guy than me, John D Williams. But nobody
EVER said he had the power to raise the dead or feed a multide with eight
loaves of bread and eight fishes. HELLOOOOO BRIAN ADAMS! Welcome to the
Kevin Nash Realm of Wrestlers Who Suck So Bad That Bret Frickin Hart Can't
Carry You To A Watchable Match. At least I think Adams WANTS to have a good
match- as opposed to lazy worthless sack-o-crap Nash, but HEY! Luger wants
to have good matches too. But Luger and Adams both really suck, soooooo-
want in one hand and crap in the other and see which one fills up first, as
my Uncle Doug- who could kick all these guys' asses at once- would say.
Sting and Randy Savage vs Scott Hall and Hollywood Hogan was actually okay
with Scott Hall selling and Hogan trying to work and Sting staying out of
the way and letting the actual wrestler on the team stay in. Until the bad
run-in. Nitro blah blah blah nWo run-in blah blah blah same time next
week... You know the drill.
Giant powerbombs Nash. Big deal. You both stink. Stereo Lumbering Lummoxes
of stinkiness. Dual clumsy galoots that should be driving a custom made
forklift somewhere, doing something useful for mankind. Instead we'll get
two horrible fat guys who don't care about their vocation. It's unAmerican-
the F*ckin commies.
And Tony Schiavonne is the worst too this week. All that matters, Tony, is
that the wrestling in the ring is good you talk about it and when it sucks
talk about how incredibly "important" and "historic" the Main Event is. The
problem with WCW is that if they took that stance, the only time they could
find a shitty enough match to talk over is when they get to the Main Event.
Oooooo irony! Either way, Schiavonne sucked. Call a move, fatboy.
THERE YOU HAVE IT.
DEAN!
 main Workrate page |
 main nCo page |