It's WCW. I was chuckin' biscuits like a freak all weekend so I'm off today so WELCOME TO ONE DAY TURN-AROUND! WHIP ASS! WCW Nitro didn't suck as much this week as it did last week- as it was just kinda boring and stupid in places this week instead of really,really irritating, boring and stupid all the way through.

The Kidman vs Sandman match was a whole lot like those really great ECW matches between Sandman and Mikey Whipwreck- using the same wacky dynamics of cool highspots and big garbage bumps (if not using the same excessive use of really stupid garbage bumps that characterized the two great ECW match prototypes). Kidman- knowing that Sandman is a MAN and will bump for him to the nth degree- opts to bump like the Gringo Psicosis he has become. WCW then remembers that they have a shitty PPV to set-up and ruin a neat little match by sending out two THINGS- two THINGS of POO! TWO THINGS of POO walking upright like MEN! I guess they figured out that Hugh Morris gets blown up in ONE minute when wrestling reg'lar heavyweights but looked like he went THREE whole minutes before becoming a totally useless load of fat in the match where Psicosis dragged his fat ass all over the ring. I'm guessing WCW thinks Kidman can pull a Psicosis and I don't see it coming out of my boy Billy. And I really hate it when Schiavonne calls Hugh Morris "Humorous". We get it Tony. HAHAHAHAHA! It's a PUN! WOW~! And Bryan Knobbs hits Hak in the head alot to get over on someone else taking bumps for him. Hak has flaskbacks to a much shorter, almost-as-crappy pseudoKnobbs- a chatty non-wrestler who can take no bumps but will wrestle dangerously with other's spinal column. He was named Taz- so Sandman feels at home again...

Okay, the Curt Hennig angle where he's a mislocated Redneck is so beautifully ripe for contention as angle of the year that it's amazing. Notice there is REAL eye for detail here: Hennig (Minnesota) with real cowboy redneck Bobby Duncum Jr (Texas)- Konnan (Cuban from Boston) with real Mexicali Icon Rey Misterio Jr (San Diego). Hennig can't sing- Konnan can't rap. The match itself was pretty fucking great as Rey + Hennig = Hennig + Benoit in a totally different way- as 80's bumpmeister-galore Hennig finds someone who will actually outbump him in the ring and Rey makes both Hennig and the august talent of Bobby Duncum Jr look like honest to garsh Texas ass-kickers for a minute there. Rey does a better Ricky Morton than he ever did in the Kidman tagteam and WCW tagteam wrestling seems to have hit a stride after the initial awesomeness of its redebut. With the tagteam of Duncum and Hennig, WCW has finally found a niche for Duncum- so one signed wrestler down, 129 to go.

I guess Flair is gonna wrestle both Benoit and Malenko and that'll be good I guess. Sticking Benoit and Malenko with Piper is a good move since you could now possibly have a match in this fued that doesn't make me wanna plant some beets- as they say down under. Malenko isn't as much fun as a face as he is as a heel, so they need to fix that soon, but he is actually good ON THE STICK! and got over his concerns with the Horsemen. Flair and Piper fight like two of my Great-uncles after too much Pabst and a heated discussion about "Norm Van Brocklin or Sammy Baugh- who was better?" Well, except my Great-uncles would beat these two chumps into the ground and would have better muscle tone.

Buff vs Bobby Eaton was just scraping by- since this was a decent enough effort by Eaton in what was basically an angle disguised as a match. If WCW wanted to be REALLY fun-filled they would have replaced David Flair with Bobby Eaton in that angle and made it a whole NWA Good Old Boys Network Goes Wrong angle. I'da been into that. Hell, bring in the new York Foundation. This was decent enough as Eaton bumped a little and Buff hit his Blockbuster pretty beautifully.

Okay, so maybe the tagteam division isn't dead. BammBamm and DDP decide to sell for Saturn like KINGS. BammBamm fearlessly makes Saturn look Godlike by hitting all of Saturn's suplexes and DVD and making it look credible. Shit, get Malenko and Benoit in on this action. This looks like fun. The ending kinda sucked because I'm assuming DDP loaded his glove or something (I'm hoping he's not channeling Cary Von Erich) but you couldn't tell- but it was SOOO dirivative of the Shoulder Angle from the NWA when Arn and Tully beat the RnR Express that such a homage has to work in this man's book. You forget that Bigelow is a good worker a lot of the time and a great worker when motivated. This was good all-around. I was expecting sheer hatred.

Miss Madness hit a neat toprope Hurricanrana because she's Starla Saxton and she's a good little worker. The rest of the skit was a bad rip-off of "Terry Funk interviews Rick Flare" and you'll only get so much mileage from me when recycling 80's NWA booking ideas. The fact that everybody took off their heels to hit a highspot sealed the "worked" designation. Hey, I'm not made of wood...

They have actually brought in Tank Abbott in an interesting way and they didn't hurt him any by having him turn on the babyface in the cage match- so THAT much worked, but that cage match was pathetic. I think the problem is that they did every spot that everyone used to juice like freak afterwards and this match they didn't. No real brutality or violence. And TAPE?

Erik Watts vs David Flair would have worked- just for the frickin' Ciclope-esque bump that David Flair takes- but this whole match was a product of a horrible "Flair-is-fixing-matches-on-camera" angle so the basis of this match is dead, so the only reason it exists (heat-building angle for Ric Flair) is dead, so what you are left with is a pure in-ring product to save the bacon. The in-ring was a basic Erik Watts squash with a screwjob that throws it back to the angle basis of the match- so you lose, young David Flair, even with the manly bump.

What the fuck is Bischoff babbling about?

MUST GO LAUGH AT GROUND AND BLOW CHOW MORE!

THERE YOU HAVE IT.

DEAN RASMUSSEN.
http://mh106.infi.net/~dhracr/death.htm

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