The Monday Nitro Workrate Report
A weekly look at what did and didn't work on Monday Nitro by Dean Rasmussen
Monday, June 22nd, 1998
What Worked
Golly! That Chris Benoit vs Bret Hart match was pretty frickin beautiful-
even with the world's crappiest screwjob. Sometimes I forget that Bret Hart
is the best actual heavyweight in North America and matches like tonight
remind me. The funny thing is that Curt Hennig's matches against Benoit
were almost this good so it makes me wonder how different Hennig would be
looked upon now if he'd have been programmed with the North American Great
Match Machine That The Marks Call The Canadian Crippler and was actually
beaten into actual wrestler shape- as opposed to the useless sack of crap
that Hennig is now. Bret Hart REALLY wasn't afraid to take a PHAT ASS Dragon
Suplex right on his head and Bret wasn't afraid to work stiff as holy hell
for the first time since he left Stampede wrestling over a decade ago.
Benoit was magnificent selling for and then beating the hell out of the
legendary Hart. What I didn't understand was the screwjob. It's BRET
FRICKIN HART! The Misawa of North America! (to quote a certain Big John.)
Benoit will put Booker T and EVEN MENG over clean as a sheet- how would it
POSSIBLY hurt Benoit if he loses to Bret Hart in a match as competitive and
skull-crushing as this one. I just HOPE TO GOD that we don't have an
extended Benoit vs Stevie Ray debacle. On the other hand, a nine year Bret
Hart vs Chris Benoit feud would be really really really really really really
really great. This was top drawer for free TV. The real funny thing was
that I was watching this match while I was at home for lunch today and was
diggin it and when I got back to work, the first song pumping through the
company muzak system was SUNDOWN by Gordon Lightfoot- A CANADIAN!!!
Tripendicular, wouldn't ya say? Oh wait.....
Magnum Tokyo and Yuji Nagata had a good little match. Tokyo is so good for
such a young punk and he showed a fraction of it in this baby as he takes
the lowroad and goes for a poor man's Alex Wright gimmick. SWANK
Explo(i)der by Yuji and he looked like he was gearing up to return to the
land of stiffness, massive no-selling, and challenges to "run into the ropes
and hit me!"- the wild and wacky world of New Japan Wrestling. Tokyo didn't
hit his bee-yoo-tee-full Full Asai Moonsault but we'll be seeing enough of
that as soon as they hit Michinoku Pro- which is my favorite rumor that I'm
REALLY wanting to believe. Hoshikawa vs Dragon Kid! Judo Suwa vs Super
Delfin! The Great Sasuke vs Seamoo Nobunaga!! WOo~HOO!
Eddy is wrestling half-speed because he's depressed and losing to everybody
so this angle begins to suck. Eddy half speed is still enough to work in
the grand scheme of things and Alex Wright is really starting to work stiff
enough to be considered an actual European wrestler. So there.
Hey! Rocco Rock did that Lucha Fireman's Carry Takedown and there was
Horace Boulder who was in FMW that has a bunch of good matches and Sickboy
is quite the up-and-coming talent and Johnny Grunge really busted his ass to
put on a good show and..... AW HELL!
What Didn't Work
Golldammit! I wanted to like it but the TPE vs Horace and Sickboy was too
stinky to like. We can discontinue the Rocco Rock hot streak. Oh well.
There's always Thunder... (shudder)
Goldberg really sucks. Poor Rick Fuller- who can work circles around this
poorman's Mark Gastineau- having to job to this total sack of shit. Feel the
Nikitaization.
Mongo vs Stevie Ray REALLY sucked it like a man. Who in the back said,
"Let's have these two wrestle a REAL LONG TIME! It'll heat this budding
feud up if the people know that Mongo and Stevie Ray can go just as long as
Benoit and Booker T! Maybe a Best of Seven for THESE TWO! OH MAN!!" Mongo
stinks. Stevie Ray stinks. Stink. Stinky. Stink. My Fast Forward wanted
to lose this match "Like Grampa Taking Out The Trash." But I watched all of
this cavalcade of feculence. For YOU. Who loves ya? That's right. It's
me. I'm your boy.
Konan vs Scotty Riggs SHOULD have worked but they blew too much stuff and
Konan is very style-specific: Lucha or Power Wrestling (though he's not
overly proficient at either). Konan can have a good match with really good
wrestler- say Norman Smiley on up the list. Scotty Riggs is a good worker
who can have a good match with a good worker. Konan needs more than Riggs
can bring to a match and this match dies. I've seen lots worse, but this
doesn't get the nod.
I'm crazy, but I think Kevin Greene could be a good wrestler if he ever
goes full time. He seems to have a better feel for it than the other famous
football players who profess to be wrestlers- Mongo or Goldberg (hint:
Greene sold like a MOTHER FUCKER in that tag match against Flair, Goldturd.
hint: Greene can run the ropes without falling all over himself and his
opponent, Mongo.) This match was against the Giant. So there you have it.
Add in a run-in and you have nothing that resembles a wrestling match.
Jacksonville was having a good time I guess. Who gives a shit? This is
nothing that will lead to nothing good. HEY! Kevin Greene will definately
outwork the Giant, Hennig and Goldberg- and that's a Goddam shame. I don't
know what those other three are doing, but it sure ain't wrestling.
Everybody talked a whole bunch and yammered on about nothing or something,
I dunno. My Fast Forward Button said, "This is all Tooo Sweeeeet..."
THERE YOU HAVE IT.
DEAN.
