The six-man lucha match was pretty good but JIMINY F&*@#% CRICKETS! You GOT THREE GOLLDAMN HOURS! Can't you shave five minutes off the nWo Heat-Killer Takeover On-Screen Jack-Off so that the actual wrestling can have a farging chance to develop? CRIMINY! They need to go back to the tag-team idea if they are gonna have facsimiles of lucha matches- six guys in four minutes becomes a rushed batch of highspots- four luchadores in seven minutes can be as cool as last weeks. WCW is run by a bunch of fucking idiots. I dug the Air Juvie and the endless missed highspots sequence which usually works really well in the middle of an actual lucha match that would actually last longer than the average Mark Starr squash, so it was pretty much a wash in this baby, but I liked the effort to make me happy. If you have Rey Misterio Jr, Hector Garza, LaParka, Silver F*ckin King, Juventud Guerrera and Psicosis in one match and you don't give it enough time to do a goddam Triple Tope Suicida- WITH THESE GUYS IN IT!-, you- as a wrestling company- have your head squarely up your ass.

BUFF vs Chris Jericho was pretty freakin great. BUFF sells and Jericho wasn't afraid to shoot for Heavyweight status by working and selling like an aspiring, Canadian Koshinaka and- despite a few rough areas and awkward blown spots- by and large, it worked. Luckily, they gave this enough time to let the momentum shift a few times- with Jericho hiting some SWANK powermoves and both taking some Not Ready For PrimeTime bumps. Maybe Jericho is ready Benoit his way into the Heavyweight ranks. Matches this good will only help. BUFF truly is becoming goddang KING of the Heavyweights.

Benoit beating the dogshit out of Van Hammer. Sweeeeeeet.... Actually, despite the gargantuan amount of ill will Van Hammer has garnered in his bizarre career, I gotta give him props for taking some truly man-sized bumps in this match (eventhough Benoit was WAY too nice with him in comparison with the other guys in Raven's Nest. C'mon, he used to bring a guitar to the ring and air-guitar before the match. C'mon, Regal hates his guts! Beat the crap out of him for a while and THEN sell some of his offense. Benoit's too much of a professional sometimes.:)) Benoit goes after his leg and doesn't let up, and then sells a batch for the pathetic former wrestling metalhead. Hammer tries to sell (which is encouraging), Benoit gets all intense and hurty, the flock descend for their weekly ass-stomping of Benoit with Saturn hitting a (I'm guessing from the AAA camera angle) fat-ass plancha. At Starrcade (the PPV concocted at the gates of Hell), Benoit vs Saturn MIGHT take the edge off the HORROR that will be Nash vs the Giant, but I dunno. Ima go over to Tim's and watch Eddy/Dean and Saturn/Benoit and like it and read the paper during everything past it (if Eddy/Dean is first.)

HEY! Tenay and Rude wouldn't be bad if Rude would cut the annoying bullying crap. Rude stayed out of the way and when he wasn't trying to be nWo boy, he wasn't NEARLY as irritating as he was in ECW. Heenan blows chunks as an announcer anyway you slice him and Heenan the Sycophant is the absolute dirtworst, so he added nothing to the takeover team and actually tried to kill whatever semblance of wrestling announcing that Tenay and Rude tried to get in, because Heenan just really really sucks and he can't stand that Tenay was actually doing well in this situation. Tenay carrying the broadcast was great because the focus was on the match and he wasn't whining and shilling the entire time like Schiavonne, and was trying to get the match over- as opposed to himself, which is the polar opposite of EVERYBODY else who babbles incessant drivel in WCW booths these days (okay, Zbysko and Scott Whatshisname on Pro are a good team and Lee Marshal and Tenay are kinda good) , and he knows what a godd*mn Blizzard Suplex is. I dunno. Tenay, Rude and whatever choade they team them with might be the best of a horrible situation if this nWo takeover thing becomes an actual reality.

Vincent. Oh jeez, you kid... you kill me.

Remember last year when Piper was real over and it was looking like WWF 1985 Piper all over again.... and then they had that TEAM PIPER Tryouts thing for the WarGames and in the span of ten minutes Piper wasn't so over anymore. I had that same thought as nWo Nitro took a full half-hour to get ONE WRESTLING MATCH ON TV after the tedious and heat-killing takeover. Notice how hot the crowd was during the first hour and how freakin DEAD it was after the thirty minutes of nothing followed by twenty minutes of Bischoff kissing Hogan's million year old, Prostate-the-the-size-of-a-medicine-ball, wart-infested ass. This was stomach-churningly bad. I think I watched some of the TRUE LEADERS in Talk Instead Of Wrestling Wrestling Show Sweepstakes over on USA.

Meng no-sells TWO chairshots. Meng needs to get that job as shrimp de-veiner on a cruiseship somewhere because he really has no idea how professional wrestling works- y'see, Meng, the other guys aren't REALLY gonna hit you hard enough to hurt you, but your SUPPOSED to ACT like it does. Y'see wrestling is more like a folk art than a sport- it's kinda like Performance Art- but GOOD. You'd think after 68 years sucking ass in the biz that he'd figure something out by now. Mongo, oh Mongo. At least you ruined Jarrett's career. WOO-HOO!

Boy! That was the crappiest Death Valley Driver I ever seen in my life! Thanks Stevie Ray! Boy! He isn't.... uh..... good. These guys got the dream task of wrestling a cold match in front of a crowd that had just been killed by the nWo takeover. I mean, Booker T is great and all, but he can't win in this situation, and Stevie Ray has ALWAYS found a way to suck as much as Booker T rules. Lodi takes a monumental ass-beating but not as monumental as the one that Benoit supplied him with. Riggs assesses the pointlessness of his situation and wisely mails it in.

Hennig vs Disco Inferno had no effect on me at all, but neither does watching the Home Shopping Network- so this match would have to be in the "Not Working" category. Nice standing dropkick. Liger's Fisherman's Buster Suplex smokes your weak shit 24-7 though.

Hangman Tim asked me the question, "What's the use of having a match to decide who takes over Nitro when the nWo just proved that they can take it over whenever they want to in just ten minutes?" I remind Tim that WCW logic is the logic of a fool wrapped in an idiot surrounded by a numbskull.

THERE YOU HAVE IT.

DEAN!

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