The Raw is War Workrate Report
A weekly look at what did and didn't work on Raw is War by Oliver Postlethwaite
Monday, January 5ht, 1997
What Worked
Barry Windham vs. Jeff Jarrett for the NWA North American title really
did make me feel like I was watching 1980's TBS. Not necessarily in a
good way but it gave me a warm nostalgic feeling which is enough to give
it the nod. Besides, I had to like SOMETHING this week. Steve Austin!
Kick asS!
When the pickings are slim you take what you get. First of all, I'd like
to make a case on Goldust's behalf. A lot of people are reporting that
he was in "blackface". As I understand it, blackface is not simply
painting your face black but also highlighting the area around ones lips
and eyes with white. In my opinion, Goldust was dressed to the nines as
one bad ass Superfly. Now, if you want to be offended with that then
please go right ahead, but don't misrepresent how he was dressed because
the word "blackface" by itself is incredible loaded. So, my point is
that he looked like one bad mother and let's not forget the crazy pimp
Flash Funk was when he first entered the WWF. That said, the wrestling
was nothing to write volumes about but 'twas ok and Funk actually won,
albeit by DQ. And Vader rules for putting Funk over by gettin' down with
him post-match.
What Didn't Work
Shamrock vs. NOD part III! This week's installment wasn't much different
from the others. Rocky vs. Ken might be ok, there's something about
Shammy that I'm not quite sold on yet though. He's got the look and his
execution is really good. Since I grew up watching this guy in UFC and
Pancrase it's this big surreal experience to see him do a
Frankensteiner. Steve Austin comes out and kills everybody because it
makes perfect sense that a guy who's too injured to wrestle still has to
be put over everyone else.
Jackyl wasn't quite enough to make the whole Truth Commission/DOA thing
work for me. Jackyl's got good potential in his current role but I
don't think the stiffs he's been saddled with are quite ready for prime
time. I mean, why couldn't they have just left the damn claw back in the
80's? And let us not forget the completely forgettable Skull and 8-Ball.
I could be interested in Chainz if he gets to be Brian Lee and dump these
nazis.
Hunter Hearst Helmsley gave an interview and I really can't remember
what he said. It was cool when Bret, Austin and Michaels got to talk
all Raw last year because they all had something to say. HHH is
this years and last's poster child for nepotism.
Owen Hart and Savio Vega are guys I like a lot and a little respectively
so I figured they could put on something worth watching but this wasn't
really it. I'm still getting used to the post-Bret Owen. He's doing a
fairly good job but he ain't nailed it yet. The post-match pay-off was
so Million Dollar Man-esque.
Paul Bearer laments the loss of Kane and we have to listen!
Why Bret, why?
Tom Brandi must have friends in high places to get to job to
Marc Mero! I have to remind myself that Mero can wrestle, he just hasn't
done it yet. A feud with a healthy Austin has possibilities. Anyhow,
this match sucked.
The Head Bangers lost to the New Age Outlaws in the same damn tag match
we've seen on Raw for-seemingly-ever. Bring on Cactus Jack and Terry
Funk already!
Don King and Vince MACMan (just like Honky Tonk says!) in bed together
over a convicted rapist and all around bad guy! You ain't seen nothing
yet, indeed.
The Hell in the Cell footage was a nice bone but the
Shawn Michaels/Undertaker confrontation was so weak. Michaels on the
mic doesn't work well off of The Undertaker 'cos Michaels is doing a
shoot-style and 'taker is still so gimmicky that it's a total clash.
Their matches have been good though and no doubt this one will be too.
