Hey! I've been neglecting my Raw is War reporting duties for two weeks and ultimately I think it's because I'm more interested in WCW TV than I've ever been because, to be honest, as much as I get a kick out of Raw PUSHING THE ENVELOPE every week, I still prefer actual WRESTLING and I'm finding it harder to excuse the crap that goes on in a WWF ring between the bells. Not that I'm giving up on my report or anything but you'll have to excuse me if I don't GET IT anymore.
Anyhow, here are some random thoughts on what went down over the past two weeks.
Gangrel and Road Dog had a fun hardcore title match and I say it worked. I particularly
liked how fast Road Dog set up the multiple table spots at the end which made it all
somewhat more realistic since Gangrel didn't have to lie around like a turd for half
an hour.
HHH and Rock had an I Quit match which was nothing special rasslin'-wise but drew
big heat and I think that qualifies a match for the working category. Can 20,000
WWF fans be wrong? I did not dig the Chyna turn one bit. Sure she was going to
turn eventually because this is wrestling but the timing was wrong, IMO! Team
Corporate's a real sham of a group in the first place. There's no chemistry between
the players and hey, look! It's Ray Traylor!
Mick Foley continued to do some fine mic work which I always like more than anyone
else ON THE STICK (except I can't say that anymore with all the career high interviews
Ric Flair has been spitting out lately). I don't like how they've turned Mick into Mr. Pogo
as my astute colleague Sanjay Mohanta pointed out to me. Although god knows Pogo
would never sell as much as Mick.
Steve Austin and Shawn Michaels spent some quality time together getting drunk
and then doing an interview and I say it worked just for the goofy grin on Austin's
face. I STILL don't see how it's cool to drink Coors LIGHT though.
Chyna vs. Pat Patterson and Jerry Brisco was great and wretched all at the same
time. It was great because I like watching the old guys work. There's something
extra they bring to their craft that the new generation just doesn't have. But this
was also way too mid-80s Saturday Night Main Event-ish for comfort. Chyna was
exposed as a worker. She can do some great spots (remember the hurracanran
she used to do when she first got started?) but can't work a long-ish match and her
kicks were worse than the Shats.
Gangrel and Edge had a pretty uninspired hardcore tag match against Road Dog and
Snow which did nothing for me. It was indy level as all hell and just a mess.
I don't hate the Undertaker skits because I find them distasteful, I hate the Undertaker
skits because it's essentially the Dungeon of Doom with better smoke and mirrors than
the WCW used. (And just why do people say "the WCW" anyway? If you expand the
acronym it makes no sense and only Bret Hart can get away with that kind of "The
Summerslam" stuff. But I digress) Yeah, so how on god's green can bringing back Mabel
be a good idea?
I guess now that WCW is trying to revive its tag team wrestling division the WWF has
to kill theirs. Actually, Owen and Jarrett is the best fit right now for both of them and
I swear I've got a pair but I don't want to see Debra winning every match for them.
And are all you people who think she looks better in the WWF than WCW smoking the
loco weed? And SALT PETER? What the FUCK is that?!
D-Lo buys tampons. How so fucking cliche. Why are guys embarrassed to pick up a
feminine hygiene person for that special lady in their life? Do they really think the
cashier is gonna think it's for them?! Do I need to get out more? There's a joke in
there about juicing a gusher but I'm too polite to make it.
George Steele vs. Droz made the permanent tape just in case it turns out the be
Steele's last but with modern medicine keep us all alive longer I think it was a foolish
waste. This didn't work. Did I really once get a kick out of the Oddities? Can you
really blame ICP for quitting now?
The Val Venis, Billy Gunn and Ken Wayne triangle just ain't doing it for me. Shamrock's
the most uncharismatic guy with charisma going.
Ollie
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