The Raw is War Get It? Report
A weekly look at what I did and didn't get on Raw is War by Oliver Postlethwaite
Monday, February 1st, 1999
SEE?!
What I Got
XPac beating up Shane in a cage was cool I guess. Did Chyna
have another boob job between last Monday and Tuesday? Why
can't she just leave well enough alone? But fuck, hearing
about Tammy Lynn Bytch's boob job was number one and the
worst thing I've heard all year. Stop the fucking insanity
please!
I'm a movin' to the States for the commercials (and down
south so I can say y'all without frontin') because Canwest
Global reamed Canuck graps fans by pre-empting all the
great Super Bowl commercials (after 1st quarter they were
the highlight) for Canadian crap. Hey! We got deli baked
lays up North! Feel the gold rush! So thank god the WWF
never fails to shamelessly promote themselves and showed the
damn thing on Raw. Ehh, 'twas ok but I actually expected
something a little smarter. I think TSN cut the alternate
version, why? Fuckers.
D-Lo vs. Bossman squeaks through by virtue of DLos cool snap
leg drops. Bossman's baseball slide slap the guy in the chops
bit used to be cool but he's too slow this year. So glad they're
winding down the miscarriage shite, gearing up for another
action adventure.
RAW boy, cool! Goldust, treading water.
Mick ruled it ON THE STICK again this week and the Rock kept up, but
ditch the steroids dude and take off your shirt.
I *liked* Road Dog and Snow vs. the Acolytes, so hey!, I ain't
all bad. This was so much more than last week's HARDCORE match,
and allow me to elucidate on that other show for a moment. Sandman
was doing good but he lost the crowd when he started lying his ass
off as if Onita had never existed. You blew that one bitch.
Kane and HHH had one of those goofy WWF rules cage matches but it
worked in context. I'm not sure but I think all the run-ins nullified
each other and the finish was, for all intents and purposes, clean. Yay!
What I Didn't Get
Sometimes I dig the Stooges in skits like the one where
they were discussing who should pin Chyna (forgot to mention
those gems last week) but this was bad, bad, bad.
Bill Gunn and Val Venis went through the motions, and Shamrock
actually made sense on commentary but since half the match
didn't even air, it's the basement for them.
Hey! What happened to Max Mini's mask? This would have really
pissed me off if Mick Foley wasn't the one doing the purchasing
so just call me hyppocrite and get over it.
Debra. Mark Henry. Owen. Jarrett.
Could *you* say anything about Kurrgan vs. Droz?
Wow, Mabel proves once again this week that nothing is impossible
in wrestling ever as he gets a new gimmick and a push, joining
Undertaker's J.O.B. Squad and not looking terrible but this was
more adventure than action and nothing good can come out of this
unless Christian gets to wrestle an actual match on TV.
Ollie
