I didn't realize the Giants losing by 700 points was still going to bug me but it does. I guess it is because I am back to the days of having both my football teams stink like that flaming bag of poo on your doorstep. What is this? 1997?
Tom Pritchard's hair. Good for you Tom. Don't let the 70's die.
Jericho vs. Billy Gunn was about as close to a true wrestling match as you were
going to get on this evening. Gunn didn't stink up the joint and looked like he
had been to wrestling school once or twice. Of course a large part of that had
to do with Mr. Jericho. Curtis Hughes is a horrible wrestler of an unspeakable
magnitude so I will take him just standing around causing wrestlers I hate to
lose.
Who knows exactly went wrong with that pitcher to the face shot but it left
Bossman with a bloody noggin and a rapidly swelling eye. And Traylor took it
like a man and kept on working like the professional he is.
This week on As The McMahon's Turn, Vince drops the belt because he actually is
Triple H's dad and Chyna is he's real daughter because the hospital switched
babies and Vince got Stephanie by accident. Stephanie was furious because she
discovered that Test was cheating on her with Steve Austin. This infuriated
Debra whose day got even worse when she discovered that her OB/GYN, Glen, was
actually a dentist wrestling under a mask posing as someone who got horribly
burned as a child. Glen, the horrible burned wrestling dentist, finds out that
he has an evil twin named Mark who claims he is from Arizona but has the world's
heaviest Southern Drawl. Mark, after dropping his 745 pound half-brother, hired
a couple of hitman who watched to much Skinny and Fatty when they were in
elementary school. Meanwhile, Mick and Dwayne are two guys just trying to make a
living but Dwayne can't seem to sake the various STDs that he seems to contract.
Of course, he won't listen to little Mick, or his hand puppet, even though Mick
is right when he tells Dwayne to stop sticking things sideways up his ass. Now
trying to fade into the background are Mark and D'Lo, two brothers who the man
(Vince) is keeping down. But finally the stress of the road and the inability to
deal with an ever expanding waistline lead to Mark turning on D'Lo claiming that
they are not brothers and D'Lo isn't listening to the teachings of Malcolm. D'Lo
is desperate for revenge and waits for Mark's bachelor party at the titty bar. A
fight breaks and many sets of hooters go running. Ivory and Luna can't believe
that Mark and D'Lo would pay to see fake breasts when they could have stared at
there's for free. But Luna made disparaging comments about Ivory's plastic
suregon which lead to Ivory revealing that Luna's doctor had used silicone in
her implants. Ivory then went one step further and popped one of Luna's implants
and then laughed as she watched her wither away as the silicone destroyed her
body from the inside. We are not done yet though. Marianna, doing her best Dirty White Girl imitation, accused Chaz of abusing her but we know that is the real handy work of a shadowy figure in the back. Oh yeah, and Pat Patterson is still taking it up the ass. Until next week.
The Other Phil
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