Savio Vega has a very cool vest. I was digging it the most. Yep.
The Los Boriquas vs DOA match was pretty horrible but it wasn't as horrible
as it COULD have been. They workrate was there- in that they all did lots
of spots per minute, but spots without selling is just pretending to
wrestle- it's a work, folks, ya gotta sell or what's the point? The Harris
Twins have always been the ass-worst wrestlers on earth so the fact that I
didn't mind this match was an VAST improvement over anything I've ever seen
them in. Not that this was any good, but it worked because Savio Vega and
Miguel Perez's team gets the win via 2x4, and despite the presence of
Hurricane Castillo and the erstwhile Crypt-The-Keeper in Los Boriquas,
Miguel and Savio are great and good workers respectively and would have
actual good matches against ANYBODY else if given a chance, so I'm happy
with the little victory and the foreshadowing of them wrestling somebody who
doesn't totally suck. Plus, it was a decent roll-up and whichever chump
from DOA that was (I couldn't tell; they had shirts on) sold the leg like he
had been there before. There you have it- the wrestling pinnacle of RAW last
night.
Savio Vega has a very cool vest. I was digging it the most. Yep.
The Road Warriors really suck but they seem to be actually trying now, as
opposed to the previous ten years of their God-foresaken careers. The fact
that they can wrestler their little hearts out and still be roided out
stiffs who suck doesn't help them at all, and if you add in the Godwins-
well.... God help you.
Goldust as Chyna was GREAT. Goldust is so what Shawn Crybaby Michaels
wants to be, but doesn't have the balls to be. Goldust has ruled the last
four weeks of RAW from a weirdness standpoint- too bad he can no longer work
to save his shaved and powdered ass. The main thing I liked about the
Goldust angle is that it kept me from having to suffer through the useless
sack of shit called Jeff Jarrett going over his vast superior in the form of
the super-declining Vader. Jarrett is being pushed at the top by default
(who the hell is left?!?) and not even the WWF want to see his sorry ass
wrestle. Hopefully this not-wrestling gimmick will be his full-time
gimmick, but I guess they ruined it by having him wrestle to his vast
superior- the lumbering stiff, the Undertaker, so sooner of later we get to
see his lame shtickt all over again.
TAKA said "Jackass." But he said it in such a way that we can rest assured
that he won't become as incredibly, annoyingly chatty as ever other chump in
the WWF. I take heart in that.
Owen running in! I guess guarantees that he gets to lose to Michaels
again. Allright! You show'em, Vince!
Well, well. 2 Cold Scorpio rides the ECW pipeline to the greener pastures
of the WWF- unfairly blackballed by shithead Bischoff for smoking weed while
the Steiners ingest fistfulls of substances that are as much of a controlled
substance as heroin- and he gets to add his much-needed experience and nigh
perfect grasp of ring psychology to the WWF, much like he did in ECW when he
was their best wrestler after the NJ3 were snapped up by said shithead.
Hey. Flash Funk. You just jobbed to the CLAWWWW!!!! What a fucking
disgrace!! AWRIGHT!! Vince has such a hard-on for big useless stiffs, it's
not amazing to understand how he would smooch UW's big fat ass to get him
back last year. This was the big rolling heap of crap. I'm guessing that
Vince's latest "find" gets his new moniker from a misspelling of Krugerand.
Whatever you call him, a turd by any other name shouldn't be squashing the
one of the best wrestlers in the world. WELCOME TO HELL.
TAKA is gonna wrestle! WOO-HOO! ALLRIGHT! Ollie switched us the right
week! I'm not gonna have to say that the best match involves DOA and Los
Boriquas! AW CRAP! It's Jerry Turdmaster Lawler! He's berating him because
he's Japanese. Oh cool! They brought in a luchadore and changed his
gimmick! Maybe it's Black Warrior!:) AW CRAP! It's freakin Brian
Christopher and this ain't gonna make it to belltime. Hey! Let's totally
ruin the Light Heavyweight division. Look at the bright side, TAKA: in five
years, Lawler is BOUND to be retired so you'll probably only have to wrestle
one or two Lawler/Christopher vs TAKA/Mr Fuji or Yakozuna matches. Jesus
Christ. Is there any WRESTLING on this freakin show?
HEY! It's Mark Mero! He used to be a wrestler as late as last year. Now
he's merely a vehicle to show off his wife's gargantuan yah-bo's. And he
shot on Tom Brandi! I wish he would have wrestled on Tom Brandi so I could
have seen two guys wrestle. Instead we get more orgy-of-one fuel for the
sexual predator/midnight choker element of the US wrestling fanbase. KICK
ASS! It's at this point that I really had to say that this show JUST SUCKED.
Okay, Rocky Maivia has been showing flashes of talent to justify his early
push and he and De-Lo Brown are becoming the really good workers of the
Nation of Domination. Steve Austin was never a great worker but he's always
been pretty okay. They've teased about him forfeiting the belt, but they
wouldn't do that to me. I mean shit, NOBODY wanted to see Jeff Jarrett
wrestle (I would hope. I mean... he sucks.), but TAKA and Mero NEED good
high-profile actual wrestling matches to get them over and back over,
respectively, and Vince fucked that all up. There is NO WAY he's gonna deny
Rocky the opportunity to show that he is becoming the real deal? Vince
isn't that stupid? Oops! I was wrong. He is. Austin Ace Crushes Rocky and
now the IC belt is as useless as the WCW TV title. ASS ASS ASS ASS! And
since we are talking about Austin- if an averagely talented guy is too hurt
to actually work but everybody still has put him over to continue the facade
that he is some kind of legit badass- though one good bump could cripple him
for life, and if said wrestler keeps younger, better wrestlers down to keep
his lie alive, what we have is the new TAZ and I think I'll start inserting
the same jokes in the same spots. And the WWF Belt Forfeit is the lamest
gimmick next to Nash as Sting and Ray Traylor as Viable Wrestler. If you
can't put someone over because you don't have confidence in your position in
the company, than you suck. Fuckin HOGAN has put Piper and Luger AND
GOLLDAMN Jacque Rougeau over clean in the last year. If he has a smaller
ego than you have, you have DEEP seeded problems.
All right. Cain and Road Warrior Hawk no-selling during a screwjob ending
between LOD and the Godwinns. Boy....hmm.....boy.
There you have it.
DEAN!
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