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Worst Movies You've Seen in the Theater
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Kronos



Joined: 21 Apr 2009
Posts: 115

PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2012 9:59 am    Post subject: Worst Movies You've Seen in the Theater Reply with quote

Bouncing off the Kevin Nash thread, I thought it might be amusing to think about those films we actually paid to see that turned out to be absolutely horrendous.

Some that come to mind:

Dead or Alive
Speed 2
The Last Song (sorry, was nursing a Miley crush)
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Kronos



Joined: 21 Apr 2009
Posts: 115

PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2012 10:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jeremy Billones wrote:

Worst film I've ever paid to see was probably Attack of the Clones - which I only sat through because my sister insisted on seeing it.



That's a damned awful movie. But I can never hate it ultimately because of the first time I saw the Yoda fight scene. I was thoroughly unspoiled and had no idea it was about to happen.

And I can't rate Phantom Menace, Spider-Man 3, or Pearl Harbor either because I liked aspects of them at the time and saw them multiple times.
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jdw
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Joined: 01 Sep 2005
Posts: 17099

PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2012 10:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Attack of the Clones
Godfather 3

The recent Oliver Stone movie was really bad. Yohe doesn't usually start laughing *at* movies, and gets annoyed when I'm laughing or audibly groaning. But after a certain point, Steve was laughing and groaning over it worse than I was. :P

I hated the Lord of the Rings movies. Lee and I watched the first on DVD, then the next two in the theaters. Just fucking painful.

Three Amigos sticks out in my mind as a crappy theater experience. Dragged to it by friends who thought it would be funny. It wasn't a dog... and for some odd reason we were sober through it: bad decision.

In contrast, Delta Force was a horrible movie... but we were so fucking stoned and watching it in an essentially empty theater that we had a great time bagging on the movie all through it. Way up there for Worst Movie, but was a running joke among us as the Best Stoner Movie Ever. :P
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Steve Yohe



Joined: 01 Aug 2006
Posts: 3041
Location: Wonderful Montebello CA

PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2012 2:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

JAWS: THE REVENGE

GODFATHER 3
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captain~swing



Joined: 01 Aug 2006
Posts: 116

PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2012 5:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm not going to provide the background stories and perfectly reasonable uh
reasons for seeing these two movies in the theater, just the titles and the
notable cast members. May God have mercy on their souls.

Double Dragon twice
with Mark Dacascos, Scott Wolf, Robert Patrick, and Alyssa Milano

and

Celtic Pride with Damon Wayans, Daniel Stern, and Dan Aykroyd
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CTC



Joined: 01 Aug 2006
Posts: 92

PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2012 6:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Blair Witch Project 2: Book of Shadows goes down as the worst movie I have ever paid to see. Though that gets off on a technicality, given that I got free tickets to the Brando/Kilmer Island of Dr. Moreau, because the power went out midway through.

Well, no, it doesn't get off on a technicality. BWP2 was worse. Moreau at least had a fucking amazing credits scene, and it also had a very young Fairuza Balk as one of the cat-people. It had 2 mildly redeeming factors, in the sense that you could track those down on Youtube or something and otherwise pretend you know nothing about it.

TPM would be in the ballpark, as would AotC. Matrix 3 (Revolutions? Revelations? Revolting, more like) probably belongs on that second tier, too.

No wait! I just remembered: I not only paid money to see In the Army Now, with Pauly Shore, Andy Dick, and Lori Petty, but I also lost a $20 baseball cap in the theater. I think that might take the cake, if we're gauging this on shit-awful-stuff-on-screen-to-cash-forked-over ratio.
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jdw
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Joined: 01 Sep 2005
Posts: 17099

PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2012 6:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

captain~swing wrote:
I'm not going to provide the background stories and perfectly reasonable uh
reasons for seeing these two movies in the theater, just the titles and the
notable cast members. May God have mercy on their souls.

Double Dragon twice
with Mark Dacascos, Scott Wolf, Robert Patrick, and Alyssa Milano


Swing!

Ms. Milano might be a perfectly reasonable reason for seeing a movie. ;)

John
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jdw
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Joined: 01 Sep 2005
Posts: 17099

PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2012 6:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

CTC wrote:
Blair Witch Project 2: Book of Shadows goes down as the worst movie I have ever paid to see. Though that gets off on a technicality, given that I got free tickets to the Brando/Kilmer Island of Dr. Moreau, because the power went out midway through.


Lord those are two bad movies. I watched them for "free" on HBO/Showtime/Skinemax/Whatever once they hit cable, and boy howdy were they major suck.


Quote:
No wait! I just remembered: I not only paid money to see In the Army Now, with Pauly Shore, Andy Dick, and Lori Petty, but I also lost a $20 baseball cap in the theater. I think that might take the cake, if we're gauging this on shit-awful-stuff-on-screen-to-cash-forked-over ratio.


Yeah, that's horrid. Didn't see it in the theaters either.

Shore's Bio-Dome was just as bad. Kylie Minogue, back when she was a hot young minky, couldn't save that.
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Bob Morris



Joined: 01 Aug 2006
Posts: 2883
Location: New Mexico

PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2012 6:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No Holds Barred. I admit it, curiosity got the best of me and I went to the theater to see it when it neared the end of its run.

Of course, I suspect a lot of us, being wrestling fans, were curious about it and watched it at some point -- although maybe on VHS. :)
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Fong



Joined: 02 Aug 2006
Posts: 220

PostPosted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 7:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kiss The Girls and Along Came A Spider come to mind as being truly awful - like the sort of thing Vince Russo would come up with if asked to write a thriller.

Batman and Robin and Jurassic Park 2 were plenty awful as well.
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captain~swing



Joined: 01 Aug 2006
Posts: 116

PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 4:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

jdw wrote:
Swing!


jdw~! No tilde bang~?!

Quote:
Ms. Milano might be a perfectly reasonable reason for seeing a movie. ;)


With detective work like that maybe I should start calling you Castle? ;)
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jdw
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Joined: 01 Sep 2005
Posts: 17099

PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 10:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I recall that Ms. Milano did a guest turn in Castle as "the one that got away". My significant other didn't get who I popped when Ms. Milano showed up. :P

John
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Rian



Joined: 01 Aug 2006
Posts: 2223

PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 11:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lawnmower Man, fell asleep in the theater and then got up and moved away from my brother who was snoring even louder than I was.
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Jeremy Billones



Joined: 07 Aug 2006
Posts: 523
Location: Alexandria, VA

PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 7:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah, Lawnmower Man, the movie based on the back cover of a novel by Steven King :)
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Rian



Joined: 01 Aug 2006
Posts: 2223

PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 10:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I forgot about Green Lantern or Green Hornet from 2011 summer...fell asleep during that one too.

It was not the one with Ryan Reynolds.
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